Bitcoin Broods: Saylor Dangles Fresh Purchase as BTC Eyes New All-Time Glory

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Michael Saylor, that indefatigable co-founder of Strategy and undisputed champion of the digital coin cult, took to the echo chamber formerly known as Twitter—now the grand arena of ‘X’—where cryptic utterances masquerade as investment advice. With a flourish worthy of a minor Restoration dramatist, he promised what can only be dubbed yet another orgiastic acquisition of Bitcoin, presumably unveiling this extravagance to polite society on May 12. One can only imagine the suspense in the boardroom—pencil mustaches quivering, monocles rattling, all eyes fixed on the ticking clock. 🕰️

Connect the Dots

— Michael Saylor (@saylor) May 11, 2025

For the unschooled—doubtless twirling fidget spinners in mothers’ basements—last Monday, Strategy announced a $180 million flirtation with Bitcoin. Gone are the days when a company might content itself with a trophy wife; now they must accumulate digital coins by the bushel. The running total? Over 555,000 coins, which—give or take an errant decimal—could purchase several European principalities or perhaps a moderately well-stocked Waitrose. 🛒

Schadenfreude being the stock-in-trade of financial markets, one observes that the firm’s stock has managed a sprightly 40% stumble up the staircase this year. Of course, the true belle of this over-caffeinated ball remains Bitcoin itself, now sashaying ever closer to the $105,000 threshold. No doubt investors are holding their breath and checking their heart rates (not to mention their portfolios) as rumors of a Sino-American trade deal swirl like cigar smoke in a Mayfair club. What larks! 🤑🌏

According to figures tamed by the ever-reliable minds at CoinGecko, Bitcoin lingers a mere 4% from a new all-time high—the ghost of January’s peak hangs over us, ready to be bested by the next digital sugar rush. One more push, and everyone may finally get those yachts, or at the very least some upgraded Wi-Fi. 🎉⛵

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2025-05-11 22:27