Bitcoin Bonanza! Strategy Buys More BTC Than Your Grandma’s Cookie Jar!

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Well, slap my wallet and call me a hodler! Strategy, the former software whiz-kid turned Bitcoin-crazed grandpa, just went on another shopping spree! This time, they scooped up 2,486 BTC for a cool $168.4 million, averaging a whopping $67,710 per coin. That’s more than my rent, and I live in a closet!

This latest haul joins their already ridiculous stash of 717,131 BTC, which they’ve hoarded like a dragon guarding its gold-except this gold is digital and worth $54.52 billion. Their average BTC price? A jaw-dropping $76,027 per coin. Someone get this company a trophy for “Most Likely to Outspend a Small Country.”

Strategy has acquired 2,486 BTC for ~$168.4 million at ~$67,710 per bitcoin. As of 2/16/2026, we hodl 717,131 $BTC acquired for ~$54.52 billion at ~$76,027 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) February 17, 2026

Michael Saylor and his crew have gone full-on Bitcoin Batman, rebranding from MicroStrategy to “We Only Speak BTC.” They’re treating Bitcoin like it’s the fountain of youth, the ultimate inflation hedge, and the scarcest thing since common sense on the internet. Bravo, folks, bravo!

Of course, not everyone’s clapping. Critics are side-eyeing this strategy harder than a cat staring at a cucumber. “Paper losses? More like paper cuts!” they sneer. But hey, when you’re underwater by several billion, who’s counting? Not Strategy, that’s for sure!

Will they stop? Nah. This latest buy is just another notch in their Bitcoin belt, making them the undisputed heavyweight champion of corporate hodlers. At this rate, they’ll own more Bitcoin than there are grains of sand in the Sahara. Or maybe just enough to buy the Sahara. Who knows?

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2026-02-17 16:41