Bitcoin Billionaire Showdown: Will 21 Capital Steal Saylor’s Thunder? 🤔💰

So, here we go again—three big shots, Tether, SoftBank, and Cantor Fitzgerald, walk into a bar and decide to launch a $3.6 billion Bitcoin hoarding extravaganza called Twenty One Capital. Jack Mallers, the Strike CEO, is now the chief honcho of this Bitcoin hoarder club. And oh, they’re going public, because nothing screams “stable” like a SPAC deal. So what, are they gonna dethrone Saylor? Is that the plan? Or maybe just make him sweat a little? Who knows.

They start off with 42,000 bitcoins. That’s right, 42,000! SoftBank chips in $900 million and sleeps with minority ownership—you know, just enough to be annoying but not responsible. Meanwhile, Tether throws in $1.5 billion like it’s loose change.

Their masterstroke? No ETFs, thank you very much. No, they invented “Bitcoins Per Share (BPS)” and “Bitcoin Return Rate (BRR).” Like it’s rocket science or some magic formula. Because regular metrics are clearly for schmucks.

2/ With an initial allocation of 42,000 BTC, Twenty One will debut as the #2 largest public Bitcoin holder—second only to @Strategy.

This is a generational capital deployment.

— Bitcoin For Corporations (@BitcoinForCorps) April 23, 2025

They’re currently trading as CEP but want to switch their ticker symbol to XXI, because Roman numerals make everything sound fancier and more legit. Already sizing up Strategy like they’re the new kid on the block with a baseball bat, ready to take the crown.

Jack Mallers, king of the crypto influencers and self-declared Bitcoin savior, says they’ll raise as much capital as they can grab. Sound familiar? He promises Bitcoin per share will only go up. Never down. If it does, it’s an “intent” thing. You gotta love crypto speak—intent beats the actual numbers any day.

“Again, my one rule to my shareholders is it will be accretive. Our Bitcoin per share will grow. We will never have Bitcoin per share negative. At least, that’s our intent. Our intent is to make sure that when you’re a shareholder of 21, that you’re getting wealthier in Bitcoin terms. And that’s my job as a CEO to deliver that. So we plan on raising capital in all different types of sectors and markets and really blending Bitcoin and incorporating it in the traditional financial system to deliver a powerful equity to the public markets for Bitcoin.”

So, a new public company throwing millions at Bitcoin, playing copycat to Strategy. Great, finally some competition. But wait—some folks in the crypto world are already side-eyeing this mess. Because, surprise, surprise, it’s another scheme where you “own Bitcoin” without actually owning Bitcoin. Sounds legit.

“Ultimate Exorbitant Privilege Joint Venture”

Let’s talk about the tag team here—it’s mighty… or maybe just a little too much:

• SoftBank: Fined for anti-monopoly shenanigans in 2021, owns a piece of everything from here to Tokyo.
• Tether: Big stablecoin boss, treasury bill hoarder, has had its fair share of “auditing?” dramas and Bitcoin price manipulation accusations.
• Cantor Fitzgerald’s chair? Son of the U.S. Secretary of Commerce. Yes, nepotism’s alive and well.

And because Twitter is the oracle of finance, along comes Kinky Contango to toss in some jargon about stablecoins running parallel dollar systems and bypassing the Fed. Yeah, it sounds like sci-fi but hey, we’re in crypto.

If Tether’s coziness with U.S. finance floats the dollar price too high, foreigners might just say “no thanks” to overpriced American goods. Great, another economic plot twist.

SoftBank’s Not-So-Smooth Ride

SoftBank’s got a history that’s basically, well… a rollercoaster with no brakes. Founder Masayoshi Son had a brief moment as the internet king in 1999, owning a quarter of the web—or so he said. Then the dot-com crash turned his fortune into a saga of losses that would make even the boldest gambler blush—$70 billion flushed down the drain.

But hey, he nailed Alibaba and stroked a lucky cat out of the chaos. Still, this guy’s got more bad bets than a Las Vegas blackjack table: Uber’s valuation dive, and Bitcoin investments timed like he’s got a crystal ball smashed to bits—buying at the peak, selling low. Rough.

Remember WeWork? $16 billion down the drain there. Will 21 Capital be Son’s next big win, or just the sequel nobody asked for? Grab the popcorn.

Tether’s Cloudy Crystal Ball

Tether, the reigning champ of stablecoins, has more legal spats and eyebrow raises than a soap opera. Kicked out of Europe for flunking MiCA standards, their future in the U.S. is a giant question mark. They’re also busy trying to fix African electricity problems, which is noble… or maybe just PR?

Tether’s stake in 21 Capital tightens its handshake with Wall Street and Uncle Sam, with Cantor Fitzgerald’s scion in the mix. So much for crypto rebels.

In Conclusion (Yeah, I’m Wrapping Up)

For too long, Strategy was the lone wolf in Bitcoin corporate investing. Now there’s a new kid with a lot of flash and maybe a little dash of hype. Will 21 Capital shake things up or just be another Bitcoin balloon waiting to burst? Either way, it’s gonna be fun watching the drama unfold. Buckle up, crypto fans.

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2025-04-24 22:50