Binance’s CZ Predicts Bitcoin Will Go So High Even Molière Would Write a Satire

Ah! Mesdames et Messieurs, preparez vos portefeuilles et vos monocles: Behold, for Master Changpeng Zhao—known to those cloaked in digital shadow as CZ—has delivered his most prodigious prophecy on the fate of the mighty Bitcoin (BTC), that golden calf of the crypto temple! 🎭

Our esteemed entrepreneur, who makes fortunes spring from code as Molière’s Scapin spun coinage from wit, declares with the confidence of a doctor hawking leeches that BTC may soar to heights between $500,000 and $1 million in this very market cycle! “How can this be?” gasp the croaking chorus of investors, half-hopeful and half-ready to faint.

To justify such fabulous arithmetic, Monsieur CZ points to the swelling legions of institutional investors (their pockets deeper than the plotline of Tartuffe), the ever-fickle laws of regulation, and the growing embrace of crypto by the reputable—yes, even those who still wear powdered wigs. The Bitcoin ETF, newly anointed in the United States, has unleashed sovereign wealth funds and bankers in a frenzy reminiscent of Orgon discovering a new pious houseguest.

Monsieur Zhao, however, offers not a timeline—mais non!—for such grandeur (for prophecy without ambiguity is but a baker without bread). Rest assured, he insists, the stage is built, the actors costumed, and the audience is seated, ready for a thunderous show.

The dialogue did, in true salon spirit, detour to the broader state of crypto. Meme coins, those jesters of finance, may dazzle the crowd now, but according to CZ, nearly all will meet the fate of Icarus—they shall fly, and then they shall fry. 🥚😂

He wagers the true value lies with subtler courtiers: artificial intelligence (the hidden hand), decentralized science (DeSci—whatever that may mean to your taxman), and the mysterious tokenization of real-world assets. These players, he claims, are as underappreciated as a sober guest at a boozy soirée, but soon their value shall be seen!

As for himself, CZ—no longer the mighty CEO—has adopted the role of kindly uncle, hovering in the wings, mentoring new voices, investing in decentralization, and building little academies for the next generation of money magicians.

He does concede (and with what melodrama!) that centralized exchanges remain a crucial avenue for the common folk, for now. Yet, argues Monsieur Zhao, the future belongs to decentralized markets—where the players may change masks, but the game, dear audience, remains one of comedy and cunning.

Finally, with the gravitas of a third-act revelation, CZ muses on his recent four-month sojourn in the Bastille (or its modern equivalent). It was, he claims, a trial not of commerce, but of the spirit—where he learned to cherish health, family, and that most elusive asset of all, peace of mind. For what is fortune, after all, if not a tragedy seen from the wrong perspective? 🎬

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2025-05-06 14:05