Belarus Plans Digital Ruble—Finally, Something More Complicated Than Paper Money!

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So here’s the scoop: Belarus, yes Belarus, is apparently gearing up to launch a central bank digital currency or CBDC by next year. Because why just have money when you can have… digital money, right? 🙄

Roman Golovchenko, who sounds like the guy you’d call when your printer jams but is actually the chairman of Belarus’ National Bank, told the state-run news agency Belta that the digital ruble will be out and about by the second half of 2026. “Out and about” meaning you can actually use it, assuming you’re still awake by then.

Golovchenko assures us that businesses will get to take this fancy digital ruble for a spin by 2026, and by 2027, everyone—from your grandma to your neighbor’s cat—can join in this digital wallet frenzy. Don’t count on Fluffy making financial decisions, though.

What’s coming next? The bank’s got to figure out all that complicated “software” stuff and cook up some rules to keep everything kosher—because nothing says “fun” like regulations about digital money, am I right?

“The digital ruble is in the sphere of our priorities. We are actively working on its creation… We are facing the issue of the safety of funds. It will be very important to be able to track how digital money passes through the entire chain.” Translation: “We want to make sure no one disappears with your virtual dough.” 💸🔒

Bonus plot twist: Belarus is teaming up with Russia for some joint digital money shenanigans. They’re cooking up a master plan to make cross-border payments less painful—or at least less painfully slow.

“We are already working on a joint action plan for the use of these tools in mutual settlements.” Because why have money in one country when you can make it awkwardly digital across two? 🤝

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2025-04-18 22:03