Banned in the Fjords: Norway Shuts the Door on Crypto Miners, Cites Power Woes

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Well now, folks, let me spin you a yarn about Norway—home of midnight sun, herds of reindeer, piles of codfish, and now, perhaps, a shortage of flashing server lights that add nothing to the local scenery except a bigger power bill. Turns out, the good people running the Norwegian show have decided that crypto mining has been hoovering up their precious electricity like a caffeinated squirrel in a nut store. 🚫⛏️

On the fateful day of June 20, the government—dead set against pixel prospectors—announced a temporary embargo on any new “data centers” that fancy the idea of spinning gold out of blockchain nonsense. Starting August, any would-be miner with visions of digital glory will have to take it elsewhere, ideally somewhere with a name you can’t pronounce but also haven’t heard of.

“The Labour Party government has a clear intention to limit the mining of cryptocurrency in Norway as much as possible,” said Minister Karianne Tung, who seems to have as much patience for server farms as a moose has for city traffic.

This grand gesture is but the latest chapter in Norway’s long-running romance with regulation. Earlier in April, word got out that anyone dabbling in these digital mines would have to register their operations, reveal who’s steering the ship, and probably sign their name more times than a debt collector. Minister Tung all but nailed the door shut, saying they wanted to “close the door on the projects we do not want.” Which is government-speak for, “Good luck pushing past this bureaucracy, stranger.”

Norway: The Las Vegas of Crypto—But With More Snow

With the rivers rushing, the waterfalls doing their thing, and more electricity than a thunderstorm on election night, Norway has become a downright attraction for crypto miners. Up north, where the wind howls and you see more polar bears than traffic lights, electricity comes cheap and land is plenty. According to Webopedia—whoever that is—Norway accounts for a whole 2% of humanity’s feverish Bitcoin mining. Makes you wonder what everybody else is doing for fun. 🤔

But there’s always a catch. Turns out, all this mining doesn’t leave behind much except noise, heat, and an electric bill that could light up the Svalbard archipelago. The government figures these digital gold-diggers aren’t doing much for jobs, and prefers plugging those precious watts into something more, shall we say, constructive—like making the world’s largest cheese slicers.

Of course, Norway still has one ace up its sleeve: those mighty hydroelectric plants, cranking out renewable goodness since long before crypto was a twinkle in a programmer’s eye. Toss in some oil reserves for good measure, and you’ve got a country with energy to spare—just not for mining cartoon money, thank you very much.

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2025-06-20 18:31