Bank Lets You Buy Bitcoin Without Changing Out of Pajamas (No, Seriously)

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Somewhere between a cheese wheel and a windmill, Amsterdam has given Europe yet another gift: Bunq, a fintech that wants you to buy Bitcoin on the same app you use to split a dinner bill with your cousin Greg. Europe’s obsession with cryptocurrency is apparently second only to its obsession with tiny cups of coffee, and Bunq is here to fill both voids at once (☕💸).

Beginning April 29—mark your Outlook calendar as if you’ll remember—Bunq customers scattered across the Netherlands, Spain, France, Belgium, Italy, and Ireland (plus whichever countries Bunq can remember exist) can take a wild swing at crypto investing directly from their banking app. No more toggling between a banking interface and a crypto exchange designed by someone who last saw a graphic designer during the Napoleonic Wars.

Bunq’s CEO, Ali Niknam, has apparently read a survey—maybe even more than one—suggesting users want their digital assets mingling with their direct deposits. According to Niknam, the customers have spoken, and what they want most, after slightly cheaper croissants, is exposure to crypto, served up in a bland, familiar banking environment.

Under the hood, Bunq is not exactly transmuting lead into Bitcoin themselves—they’ve teamed up with Kraken. Yes, the globally-renowned crypto exchange, not your eccentric uncle’s password-locked USB stick, is powering this behind the scenes. Niknam also offered a gracious thank-you note to European regulators for “clarifying” the rules so that no one has to panic-call a lawyer every time they click ‘Buy’.

It turns out fintech isn’t content until it controls everything from your savings to your moon-shot Dogecoin play. Bunq even paid for research (real science!) that said two-thirds of Europeans just want to manage crypto, savings, and payments under one exceptionally complicated login. The tragic twist: most people surveyed still think these platforms are about as user-friendly as assembling IKEA furniture blindfolded and just as secure.

The race to dominate your financial life is officially on, with Bunq and its 12.5 million users storming into crypto—hoping to give competitors like Revolut a reason to sweat in their hoodies. Will your grandma soon be paying for stroopwafels in Solana? Possibly. Will you lose your PIN trying to figure out what this all means? Almost definitely. 🚀💶🎉

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2025-04-30 08:23