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Ah, what a spectacle! ETH saw a sudden spike in speculative interest after Fusaka came crashing into the scene like a bull at a ballet.

In this grand theater of finance, the likes of DeFi and AI stand basking in the limelight, while those pitiful RWAs, DePIN, NFTs, and GameFi shamble off stage, whispering sweet nothings to empty pockets. Perhaps aligning oneself with the titans of industry is the sole salvation for hopeful creators chasing fresh inflows? ⚡

The Bitcoin-believin’ Cruz was the sole senator scramblin’ like a cartoon villain to block Democrat Senator Ron Wyden’s bill – Senate Bill 2850 – on Wednesday, claimin’ without data, how do ya keep locked-up pervs away from kiddos? It’s like sayin’ without maps, explorers would get lost… but wait, they do anyway! 😂

Sharps Technology has just unveiled plans to buy back up to a whopping $100 million of its outstanding common stock. That’s right, they’re not messing around. It’s all about pushing shareholder value and dabbling in the digital assets world with Solana, which sounds like a fancy way of saying, “We want to make money AND be cutting-edge.” 💰🔗

FG Nexus (Nasdaq: FGNX, FGNXP) has embarked on a pact with Securitize to invite investors to hold common shares as tokens on Ethereum’s blockchain. Yes, the very same shares, but now wrapped in code rather than paper-because apparently paper stock certificates were just too passé.

On Oct. 2, 2025, the crypto leaderboard resembled a masquerade ball, where assets paraded their gains like nobles at a gala. Zcash, the enigmatic dancer, twirled into the spotlight with a 37.74% climb to $130.92, its $1.27 billion in trades a siren song for the uninitiated. 🎭

In a world where the relentless march of time knows no bounds, the CME Group, a titan among institutions, has proclaimed its intention to offer around-the-clock trading for its cryptocurrency futures and options markets. A bold stride, indeed, to align itself with the eternal vigil of the crypto markets, where sleep is but a distant memory. 😴

The first batch of Morpho Vaults is set to drop in Q4 2025 (yes, you read that right-2025, not a typo). Users can finally earn yield or borrow against their holdings, all while rates adjust themselves like a self-aware spreadsheet. 🧮 DeFi lending, meet your new blockchain audience. Blockchain audience, meet DeFi lending. Now kiss. 💋

Altcoins? Oh, they’re just here for the chaos. Zcash decided to throw a party and invited 40% of its value. XMR, CRO, and the rest of the “I-just-need-one-more-bet” crew followed suit. Meanwhile, over-leveraged traders are learning the hard way that “green daily” means “your account is now a jungle gym for the liquidators.” 🌿

Now, of course, this is the “bull case,” the shining beacon of hope in their forecast. But, just to be real (and slightly depressing), they also predict a “base case” of $181,000, and-hold your horses-an ominous “bear case” of just $82,000. A little dramatic, don’t you think? Talk about a rollercoaster ride. 🎢