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Bons, ever the dramatic critic, turns his withering gaze upon Bitcoin’s governance-a thing as flexible as a fossilized flamingo. The Core developers, he notes, cling to their 21 million supply cap like a monk to his last bean. Larger blocks? Inflation? Heresy! Such rigidity, Bons warns, may someday fracture the blockchain into schisms or-horror of horrors-force an inflationary measure, thus transforming Bitcoin into the very fiat it once mocked. Oh, the irony burns brighter than a misplaced hardware wallet.

What’s the price tag on this newest handful? A cool 51.4 million simoleons, which comes out to $119,666 each. Yes, friends, that’s almost enough to buy every man, woman, and child in Hannibal a pair of golden suspenders and still tip the barber. 🤠✨

Apparently, its fleeting success stems from attempting to correct Bitcoin’s rather… pedestrian performance, especially when the masses decide they require it simultaneously. How terribly inconvenient for everyone involved.

According to whispers carried by the Economic Times, the CBDT has summoned the denizens of cryptocurrency exchanges and their ilk to answer life’s most pressing question: Who shall govern these VDAs? Shall it be SEBI, the stoic overseer of securities? Or perhaps RBI, that guardian of liquidity? Or dare they entrust the Ministry of Electronics and Information Technology, MeitY, or even the Financial Intelligence Unit? The deliberations, one suspects, are as convoluted as a Tolstoyan family tree. 🤷

Enter AMBTS B.V., the new kid on the blockchain block. This privately held entity aims to become what its creators call a “1% Bitcoin treasury company.” Translation? They want to hoard 1% of all existing Bitcoin, which would require more money than most people can fathom-about $24 billion at current prices. For context, that’s enough cash to buy several small islands, or perhaps an entire fleet of yachts shaped like unicorns. 🦄🌊

“Buy the dip!” Yet hedge funds, those charmingly predictable beasts, rewrite the script. Volatility? Gone feral. Conviction? Evaporated like morning dew on a crypto exchange. ☀️

Behold: a carnival of ledgers, where satoshis squeal like gulls snatched midflight, and the national pastime is no longer baseball-it’s auditing.

The crypto market, ever the scene of a grand spectacle, witnessed one of its customary bloodbaths over the weekend and into Monday. More than half a billion dollars of value was liquidated, a veritable feast for the bears. Indeed, more than five times as many long to short traders were liquidated, indicating that the bears were firmly in the driver’s seat. The new week has dawned with the bulls attempting to stem the tide. But the question remains: will we see another sharp plunge to the vicinity of $112,000, or is the next upward impulse about to kick in?

Ah, Litecoin. The cryptocurrency that knows how to test your patience. For the fifth consecutive time, it has bounced off its long-standing trendline support. It’s almost like the coin is saying, “I’ll let you decide if I’m done yet.” A signal, of course, that this level is more crucial than your morning coffee. Forget the weak market sentiments – this trendline seems to be sticking like glue.

So, what’s the fuss? Imagine a coin that’s as steady as Mount Fuji (or at least tries to be), pegged at 1 JPYC = 1 JPY. It’s backed by-wait for it-liquid assets! That’s fancy talk for “stuff you can turn into cash quickly,” like bank deposits and government bonds, because nothing says “trust me” like a pile of IOUs from Uncle Sam’s favorite island nation. 🇯🇵💰