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Apparently, about one in four Singaporeans now owns some kind of digital asset. One in four! That’s either impressive or terrifying-depending on how much they lost during the last crypto crash. Anyway, Volkswagen is responding to this trend by offering what they call “modern and flexible ways to pay.” Flexible? Really? Last time I checked, paying with something that could drop 20% overnight wasn’t exactly my definition of flexibility.

In an act perhaps most fitting for a Greek tragedy (or a Silicon Valley sequel), cryptocurrency exchange Gemini has dared to file its paperwork with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, confidently aiming to go public. Alas, there lurks a problem so conspicuous that only a true financier could overlook it: the firm is hemorrhaging cash faster than a beleaguered poet drinks absinthe. 💸

The technical fellas are squintin’ at their charts, pointin’ to a showdown ’tween $4,200 and $4,300. Seems ETH’s been testin’ that range like a stubborn mule at a fence. If it breaks, well, $4,000’s waitin’ like a hungry bear at a picnic. 🍯🐻 And let me tell ya, that’s a round number folks love to chatter about-’cause nothing says “psychological” like a nice, even thousand. 🤓

The three musketeers, Lamarious Bradley, Lucius Bradley, and Chad Brown, are now facing some seriously big charges. If convicted, they could be looking at up to 30 years in prison and a fine of $1 million. Yes, you read that right-ONE MILLION DOLLARS. I guess that’s the price for bad mail habits. 🏛️

As XRP consolidates, it draws the gaze of market watchers like a peacock flaunting its feathers. The token’s ability to remain perched above key support levels is a testament to the strong demand, yet with liquidity pressures lurking like a cat in the shadows, the next direction of XRP remains a tantalizing mystery for the week ahead. 🕵️‍♂️

And let’s not forget Ethereum and its merry band of altcoins, who have decided to join the pity party, with ETH retreating over 6%. It appears traders are donning their defensive armor, preparing for the impending macroeconomic circus. 🎭

The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has once again opted for a good old-fashioned delay in its decision on CoinShares’ proposed spot Litecoin (LTC) exchange-traded fund (ETF). No surprises here, folks! This is merely another chapter in the ongoing saga of regulatory caution toward cryptocurrency ETFs. Initially, the SEC had promised to make up its mind by May 26, 2025. But, in a plot twist that nobody saw coming, they’ve extended the deadline to August 24, 2025. Apparently, they want more *feedback* from the public. How refreshing.

Bitcoin, that enigmatic jewel, now whispers instead of roars, hinting that its bullish swagger might be losing some of its va-va-voom. Who knew even the grandest coins have their moments of doubt? *

The culprit? A sneaky little pattern called a “rising wedge,” which had been propping up Bitcoin since mid-June like a dodgy chair leg. When it broke, the sellers pounced like a swarm of hungry dwarves on a pie cart. Meanwhile, the bulls are now scrambling to defend their turf, though it’s starting to look like a game of Whack-a-Mole with a broken mallet. 🐂🆘

Voici donc l’acte le plus récent de cette farce bureaucratique: la SEC, dans un élan de procrastination digne d’un Argan de notre époque, a une fois encore repoussé sa décision sur la proposition de Nasdaq concernant l’ETF XRP de Coinshares. Quelle surprise! 🙄