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According to Mr. Xu, it’s as secure as Fort Knox-with Google and OKX authentication guarding the gates. So, unless you’re a hacker with a magic wand, your funds are supposedly snug as a bug in a rug. 🛡️

In a recent digital proclamation, our dear Hoskinson-part prophet, part provocateur-tweeted with the gravitas of a Shakespearean soliloquy: “Let’s call forth the bullrun of gigachads that destiny has ordained for us.” 🦁📈 One can almost hear the collective gasp of the crypto masses, their keyboards quivering with anticipation. What a message, dripping with the honeyed optimism of a man who has surely never met a bear market he didn’t like.

Harvard Management Company, the guardian of a gilded cage housing $56.9 billion, disclosed that IBIT now commands 21.04% of its U.S. public equities portfolio, a sum of 6,813,612 shares valued at $442.9 million. A sum so vast, it would make even the most stoic investor ponder the abyss. 🧨

Back in August, Harvard casually dropped the bombshell that it had tucked away a tidy $117 million in BlackRock’s Bitcoin ETF like a chap slipping a fiver into his waistcoat pocket. But lo and behold, by September, the old alma mater had gone full Scrooge McDuck, nearly tripling its BTC holdings to a whopping $443 million. One can only assume the university bursar has been mainlining espresso and yelling “YOLO” into a Bloomberg terminal.

As though propelled by some unseen yet delightful hand of Providence, TEL made a spirited leap into prominence upon securing a banking charter from Nebraska, a fact that invigorated both demand and the buoyant spirits of speculators, encouraging a most charming dance of derivatives positioning and bullish fervor.

Arthur Hayes, that veteran of the BitMEX arena – a place where fortunes are made and lost on the whims of the market – has bestowed upon us his prophecy. Zcash (ZEC), he proclaims, could ascend to the market capitalization heights of XRP. This, following a 45% blip in ZEC’s value. Truly, a development worthy of note. Or perhaps just another ripple in the crypto sea. Hayes, a devoted acolyte of Zcash, sees…potential. A word often used to disguise a lack of concrete evidence. The current rally has, predictably, stirred the usual buzz among those who believe anything can happen at any moment and also some analysts.

Les poids-lourds ne sont point épargnés, car même le maître souverain Bitcoin à 95,381 pièces
et la fière Éthereum à 3,154 font des émeutes pour savoir s’ils trouveront un souffle. Bien que
je puisse décrire les journées passées qui se méfient, la retrouvaille holistique d’une victoire
quelconque n’en traduit point. Si d’exemple volaient la scène – ah, l’altcoin! Un spectacle
bien démoli parmi Rutfab -, l’on entend nos chers taureaux patauger à pareille faiblesse. Voyez
XRP à 2.21, BNB a 933, Solana près 139, et aucun, hélas, n’a armé de croissance fulgurante, à moins
l’on y trouvât un petit tour de force indispensable.

With Trump’s signature flourish, he painted Bitcoin as the “greatest asset” since… well, perhaps the invention of the wheel. His 2025 prophecy-Bitcoin touching the elusive $1,000,000-a vision so grand it could outshine the corporate monuments of Wall Street. One might quip: “The only thing immutable here is the audacity.”

They offer us tokens, these little digital fragments, assuring us of revolutions in gaming, artificial intelligence, even… the very structure of ownership. How quaint. It’s all so terribly earnest. Projects bloom like mushrooms after a rain, boasting “unique utilities” and “immersive concepts”. One wonders if anyone truly believes it all. 🧐

According to him, the magic formula for most folks is simple-Bitcoin first, then Ethereum. Because if you’re going to spend your hard-earned cash, why not start with the big boys who’ve already proved they can survive a few bad days? Makes sense, right? Or at least, it makes sense until someone dares to ask about the next ‘big thing.’