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Behold, the co-founders and co-CEOs of IREN Limited (IREN), a company that, like a phoenix from the ashes of bitcoin mining, has risen to claim its throne at the heart of the AI infrastructure boom. 🦅🔥 From the frigid landscapes of Canada, where it was born in 2018 as a humble renewable energy-powered bitcoin miner, IREN foresaw the true destiny of its endeavors-not in the ephemeral glow of cryptocurrency, but in the boundless expanse of artificial intelligence. Ah, the irony of it all! 😏

Ethereum’s getting scarce on exchanges faster than a pocketbook at a poker table. Per Arab Chain’s report (yes, that market sage with a name like a desert), the ETH supply is shrinking like a puddle in a drought. It’s now at its skinniest since 2016-when folks were still arguing whether “crypto” was a word or a typo. This ain’t just holding; it’s hoarding, folks! Long-term storage’s the new black, and selling? Well, that’s as popular as a flat tire at a car show. 🏦🚀

Earlier this week, while the world was busy with its usual chaos, Coinbase dipped its toes into the vibrant waters of India, receiving a nod from the Competition Commission of India for its audacious plan to acquire a minority stake in the local crypto trading platform CoinDCX. One must applaud such daring ventures-after all, what’s life without a little risk? 🍸

Solana [SOL] memecoins followed closely behind. Launches like Official Trump [TRUMP] and Melania Meme [MELANIA] reinforced Solana’s reputation as the “go-to” network for high-speed, speculative activity. 🇺🇸😂

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On the fateful day of the budget, Carr, in a TRIGGERnometry interview, unleashed his barbs upon the sacred cows of public finance. Why, he demanded, has the UK never established a sovereign wealth fund? Why do the winds that sweep the coast and the black gold beneath the soil enrich only the Crown? 🏰💰 “There are certain things,” he declared, with a wink and a nod, “that should belong to everyone.” A sentiment so radical, it might as well have been carved into the heart of a socialist manifesto-though Carr, ever the contrarian, disavowed such labels. “I’m not a socialist. I’m not even for state capitalism,” he quipped, before advocating for assets that “should belong to everyone.” 🌍🤡

However, Pi Network’s native token, PI, has been a curious exception, holding its ground above $0.20. Notably, this is not the first time such a feat has occurred in recent months. Perhaps it’s time to question whether PI is a phoenix or just a very well-dressed parrot. 🦜

According to the whispers in the crypto corridors (or a press release sneaked out to CryptoPotato), this little launch promises to turn Telegram into a veritable Wall Street of the digital age-minus the bad coffee and sharp suits. Imagine buying, selling, and transferring your stocky treasures directly within Telegram-because who needs a broker when you’ve got chat bubbles, right? 📈💬

From “the market is dead” to “the market is my best friend again” – because nothing says stability like a social media-driven emotional rollercoaster. 🎢😂

Kraken-never one to rest on its laurels-has given its love letter to Alpaca, making it the première source and guardian for those shiny, digitized equities that line Kraken’s xStocks runway. Now, with the addition of the Instant Tokenization Network (ITN), they are serving up real-time minting and redeeming like a maître d’ at a noodle bar-only for fintechs, developers, and the bigwigs beyond U.S. shores. Fancy, isn’t it?