Crypto’s April Fools: $606M Vanishes in a Blink!

Yes, dear reader, the numbers do not lie! $606 million has been plucked from the crypto tree in just 18 days, a feat so astonishing it has even the most jaded analysts gasping for air. Yahoo Finance, ever the harbinger of doom, confirms that April 2026 is the worst month for crypto theft since the Bybit breach. Oh, the irony! The digital fortress, once thought impregnable, now lies in ruins, its treasures scattered to the four winds.

When Labor Secretaries Burn the Candle at Both Ends: Lora’s Exit

Lora’s chief of staff and deputy chief of staff waved goodbye in March after brief administrative leave stints. A formal sit‑down with the inspector‑general was due in the week of her resignation, according to NBC. In a rare X post that would have been a tour‑de‑force if Timed, Lora described the allegations as “high‑ranked deep‑state actors peddling gossip” orchestrated by media mobs to sabotage Trump’s crusade.