🤑 Coinbase, Trump, and the Ballroom of Broken Dreams: A Tale of Crypto and Chaos 🕺

On the altar of social media, Shirzad sacrificed his words, a rebuttal to Connecticut’s own Chris Murphy, who had the audacity to label Coinbase a cog in Trump’s “corruption factory.” Corruption, you say? In Washington? Surely, you jest! 😏 Yet, Murphy insists, pointing to Coinbase’s donations to Fairshake and the 2025 inauguration as evidence of their complicity. And what of the SEC’s sudden leniency? A mere coincidence, no doubt. 🙄

🍔 Bitcoin on a Bun: Steak ’n Shake Flips the Crypto Script! 🤑

On a crisp October morn, Fold Holdings, nestled in the sun-drenched deserts of Phoenix, unveiled its latest folly: a pact with Steak ’n Shake, where Bitcoin rewards are the prize for indulging in a “Bitcoin Meal” or “Bitcoin Steakburger.” A receipt, a code, an app-how modern! How tedious! The promotion, fleeting as a desert mirage, graces all 400 locations, a testament to our insatiable hunger for both calories and currency.

Dogecoin Whales Panic-Sell 440M DOGE! 🐕💸

Recent price movements, if one may call them such, suggest the market is reacting with the enthusiasm of a guest at a funeral. A 2% daily loss and a 6% weekly decline-ah, the thrill of it all! One wonders if the whales have finally grown weary of their own opulence.

Binance’s Political Gambit: Trump, Pardon, and a Dollar That Caused a Stir

The platform, with all the seriousness of a judge at a dog show, declared that this particular stablecoin, emanating from the Trump family’s own cloakroom of financial adventures-World Liberty Financial-was simply approved “through its normal course of business.” Whatever that means, it’s reassuring to know that even in crypto, routine is routine. 🧐

You Won’t Believe How $300M in Crypto Got Frozen – It’s Like Crypto’s Big Brother

And they’re not just doing it locally – no, these guys have law enforcement buddies in 23 countries, because apparently crime is a global sport now. They’ve become famous, or infamous, for helping bust major cases like Brazil’s Operation Lusocoin – which, let’s be honest, sounds like a secret club that’s probably more fun than your average crypto meetup.

Crypto’s Halloween Horror Show: Ghosts, Ghouls, and Red Charts 👻💸

First up, we have the usual suspects: regulatory whispers, macroeconomic jitters, and that one uncle who still thinks Bitcoin is a Ponzi scheme. 🕵️‍♂️ Meanwhile, Ethereum is over there pretending it’s not sweating, even though its Layer 2 solutions are more tangled than a bowl of Halloween spaghetti. 🍝 And let’s not forget the meme coins, which are somehow still alive, proving that even in a bear market, nonsense thrives. 🤡

Solana Inflows Dive to 6-Month Low: Can it Break $200? Not Anytime Soon!

As per the ever-helpful data from Coinglass, Solana’s inflows are now teetering at an almost tragic $180.7 million-a far cry from the glory days of $885.02 million just a day earlier. Low inflows, of course, indicate that the market is growing rather bored with our dear Solana. Apparently, the spark of excitement over its ETFs has flickered out like an old candle in a drafty room.