USDT Hits 500 Million Users: The Greatest Financial Feat Never Confirmed ?

Market Size and Supply Graph

With a flourish of social media wizardry, Ardoino declared this the “biggest financial inclusion achievement in history,” an achievement as certain as the sun setting behind the smog of the global economy-if only we knew who truly counts as a ‘user’ in this digital carnival. The number’s as solid as a mirage, perhaps a little more shimmering, and the details of how these ‘users’ are counted are as mysterious as the depths of the Mariana Trench, or perhaps just a well-kept secret. 🤔

Crypto Gold Rush: 155 ETFs Stampede 🏇💰

There’s a fever in the air, a kind of madness that only comes with the scent of profit. The digital asset sector is awash with optimism, as crypto exchange-traded product (ETP) filings surge to heights once thought impossible. Bloomberg’s own Eric Balchunas, a man who’s seen his fair share of market frenzies, declared on October 21 that a record 155 ETP filings have been made since 2024, spanning 35 different cryptocurrencies. It’s a land rush, he says, and he’s not wrong. 🏇🔥

UK Financial Regulator Issues Hundreds of Crypto Exchange Warnings in October 2025

In a legal drama fit for any courtroom thriller, the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) slapped a lawsuit against HTX, the artist formerly known as Huobi, in London’s High Court on October 22. Accused of promoting crypto services to unsuspecting UK residents without so much as a “by your leave,” HTX has been a thorn in the FCA’s side since 2023. And, naturally, they’ve been added to the official warning list of the ever-watchful regulator.

🚀 XRP, DOGE, & Mantle: Bybit’s Crypto Carnival Begins! 🎪

The winds of institutional fervor are sweeping through the crypto valleys, compelling exchanges to broaden their horizons. Bybit, ever the astute observer, announced on October 22 that it would embrace XRP, mantle (MNT), and dogecoin (DOGE) into its USDT-margined futures and options contracts. A strategic pirouette, if you will, to deepen liquidity and offer more refined instruments for traders braving the volatile crypto tempest. 🌪️

Shocking Arrests Loom for Milei’s Crypto Cronies! 😂

In this ever-escalating saga, revelations abound that Milei, that impulsive libertine, hath gravely underestimated the legion of Argentine merchants ensnared in LIBRA’s precipitous fall, a tumble as abrupt as a peasant’s hopes in winter’s grip. 😂

Crypto Chaos: Whales, Politicians, and the Usual Drama 🎉💸

Ethereum (ETH) tried to flex its $4k muscles but collapsed like a gluten-free cookie. Ripple (XRP)? Down. Solana (SOL)? Down. Dogecoin (DOGE)? Oh, it’s down and irrelevant. Cardano (ADA), Chainlink (LINK), Stellar (XLM)-they’re all just vibes at this point. Even Litecoin (LTC) is like, “Hey, remember me?” 🙃