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In an utterly spectacular turn of events, the Trump Organization, together with Saudi Arabia’s Dar Global, has managed to turn a rather niche idea into an actual, headline-grabbing project. No, they are not opening a new golf course (yet) – they’re tokenizing a hotel, and not just any hotel, mind you, but the Trump International Hotel Maldives. Investors will now be able to purchase digital shares in the hotel’s construction phase. How modern! How daring! 😏

Rising leverage, overheating spot volume, and liquidity clusters above $690 all support a potential breakout continuation. 🧠💥 A symphony of numbers, conducting the orchestra of chaos. 🎻

The week’s been a bumpy ride for cryptocurrency enthusiasts, with Bitcoin ( BTC) and its high-flying friends taking some heavy blows. BTC fell below $90,000 twice-yes, twice-before it decided to play hero and bounce back. But let’s not forget, just a few weeks ago, it was cruising comfortably above $110,000. Now? It’s dropped 16%, dragging its market cap down from $2.2 trillion to a sad $1.84 trillion.

BitMine Immersion Technologies, the self-proclaimed colossus of Ether holdings, finds itself in a most precarious ballet. Down $1,000 per ETH, it teeters on the edge of a $3.7 billion abyss, according to the soothsayers at 10x Research. 🕳️💰 “A true Hotel California scenario,” quips Markus Thielen, the oracle of LinkedIn, as investors find themselves trapped in a structure as opaque as a Moscow fog. 🌫️

The V4.10.4 app update is like a crypto party where you can trade perps, manage assets, and explore Dapps-all without leaving the wallet. It’s like having a personal crypto butler, but instead of serving tea, they’re handling your BTC and ETH. 🧑‍🍳💼

The filing, a bureaucratic sonnet to the European Union, seeks to unlock the gates of the EEA. One imagines the regulators nodding in solemn approval, their mustaches twitching with the thrill of novelty. For Pi Network, this is no mere formality; it is the crescendo of a symphony composed over seven weary years.

The whole thing, naturally, started because of something involving Donald Trump’s family and a company named World Liberty Financial (WLFI). Honestly, it’s all rather convoluted. It’s like trying to untangle a ball of yarn knitted by a committee of cats. 🧶

Trading has diminished, as if men – finally possessing a moment of clarity – hesitate to partake in this feverish speculation. Trading volume has dipped, a mere $83.8 billion exchanged daily, suggesting a collective pause for contemplation. Yet, amongst the derivatives, a different story unfolds. There, the volume swells, a restless current of hedging and – let us not deceive ourselves – a healthy dose of hoping to profit from misfortune.

Recently, the Federal Revenue Service, that ever-watchful guardian of the purse, announced an intention to bring crypto transactions into the fold of international tax standards. A noble effort to straddle the line between progress and control, perhaps motivated more by a desire for coffers than for clarity.