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Now, this ‘W’ bottom, you see, is a pattern. A pattern that, according to people who spend their lives looking at patterns, suggests things might stop going *down* for a bit. It’s formed of two dips – the bottom bits of the ‘W’ – and a little bump in the middle. Profound, isn’t it? 🤯 The thinking is the second dip has more buyers, which is usually a sign someone, somewhere, is clutching onto a glimmer of hope. Which, let’s be honest, is a rare commodity in the world of cryptocurrency.

Well, well, well, looks like everyone’s favorite “Rich Dad” Robert Kiyosaki is back at it again. This time, he’s taking a bold stand, declaring that Bitcoin and Ethereum are the “real” money. Yep, you heard that right-forget about those shiny paper bills and coins with the government’s face on them. According to Kiyosaki, they’re just a smokescreen for a failing monetary system. He’s urging investors to stash their wealth in BTC and ETH, leaving fiat to burn in the fiery furnace of inflation.

It is said that Ripple has expended a considerable sum – a billion dollars, no less – upon a firm called GTreasury. A princely ransom, one might say, for a piece of the $120 trillion puzzle that is the corporate treasury market. The gentlemen at Ripple, Mr. Garlinghouse chief amongst them, speak of a ‘breakthrough,’ a ‘revolution.’ One wonders if they have considered the inertia of habit, the inherent resistance to change in the hearts of men (and CFOs!), and the profound discomfort of disrupting established order. It’s all very dramatic, isn’t it? 🙄

There exists an ‘Academy,’ dedicated to the arcane art of ‘Elliott Waves.’ These fellows, with the seriousness of physicians diagnosing a terminal illness, claim to discern a pattern in the rise and fall of Bitcoin. They posit that the ‘bullish leg’-a rather undignified term, don’t you think?-has reached its inevitable end. And so, the corrective wave begins. A corrective wave! As though the market somehow *needs* correcting, as if it were a naughty schoolboy. A support, built on thin air and fervent hope, has been breached, and now they speak of ‘reversal.’ It’s all terribly dramatic, really.

Uniswap was hanging out near $6.07, which is a far cry from the glorious $8 range it briefly flirted with earlier this week. But don’t get too comfortable. Open Interest data from TradingView shows a dramatic nosedive, plummeting from over 300 million to a paltry 140 million. It’s like watching the crowd clear out after the concert’s over, only in this case, it’s traders liquidating their positions faster than you can say “Whoops, I sold too early.” This sudden drop hints at a mass exodus, with traders cashing out or frantically closing their leveraged positions. They don’t call it uncertainty for nothing.

Picture this: XRP attempting a daring ascent above the lofty $2 mark, only to be warned by the wise prophets of technical analysis that it might first endure a gruesome nosedive-perhaps a 40% plunge that would make even the most seasoned hodler’s stomach churn. But fear not! This isn’t necessarily the end; it’s merely the market’s dramatic prelude, a capitulation… or an elaborate dance before the grand rally. 😏

Crypto analyst Xaif Crypto, who may or may not be a sentient algorithm in a human disguise, remarked: “The real money hasn’t even started flowing yet,” which is oddly reassuring if you assume the real money is currently trapped in the interstellar equivalent of a bureaucratic traffic jam.

With all the grace of a car crash in slow motion, Tate suggests that as long as traders are clinging to the fantasy of a swift rebound, the digital currency’s descent into oblivion is inevitable. He posits that the more people hold onto their long bets, the deeper the market will tumble until hope is a distant memory.

The BNB Chain launch platform, Four Meme, is set to unveil a new feature called Token Name Protection. This system, which claims to “enhance fairness,” is essentially a digital gatekeeper for token names, ensuring no two projects share the same moniker. 🧠✨

The rate of Bitcoin (BTC) has risen by 1.11% since yesterday. Because nothing says “I’m feeling lucky” like a 1% increase. 🎲