jpyxx While the government was on a 40-day “spa day” (we’re still not over it), the crypto market decided to throw a party and gained 5% today. Let’s see if these economic updates crash the festivity or make it even wilder. 🎉
Bitcoin and Ethereum, those heavyweight champions of the crypto ring, took the hardest knocks-losing $932 million and $438 million respectively. One imagines them slumped in their satin robes, muttering about monetary policy and demanding a rematch in July.
By Shayan (probably dreaming of riches)
After the FTX implosion – what a mess! – everyone’s playing it a little safer. Hedge funds, banks, asset managers: they’re rethinking their crypto “relationship.” It’s not a fling anymore; it’s serious. Well, as serious as crypto gets, anyway.
Oh, so it seems that the end of the bloodbath for Bitcoin treasury stocks is upon us. But wait, before we celebrate, let’s check out the details-just in case it’s another cruel twist of fate.
“The reasons for this curious sell-off are multifold,” Hiesboeck expounded on a fine Sunday morning. “Primus inter pares, these venerable holders opt for the acquisition of ETFs, basking in the incredible fiscal boons offered by modern-day edicts.”
James Chanos, the founder of Kynikos Associates, dropped the bombshell on Sunday, revealing that his investment firm unwound its short position on Strategy and a long position on Bitcoin (BTC) early Friday morning, probably right after finishing his coffee and plotting his next move in the grand chess game of market manipulation.
Stalwart XRP holders still linger in anticipation, for the government hallways remain sealed, as decisions from the SEC gods are awaited. A listing on the DTCC is but a silhouette of approval, not its substance. It is merely a wee step in the march of bureaucracy, confirming that those managing these funds have turned their own intricate cogs into preparation for whatever vow of entry the regulators may bestow. 😇📜
Trump, the great orator of the digital age, proclaimed on Truth Social that the United States, with its coffers brimming like a well-fed noble, is siphoning trillions from tariffs. These funds, he declared, would not only vanquish the $37 trillion national debt but also bestow a dividend upon the people. Yet, the high-income earners, those paragons of wealth, would be left in the cold, their pockets untouched by this grand gesture. 🚫💰
