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According to them fancy Artemis Analytics folks (who probably wear monocles), stablecoin usage done exploded like a poorly coded smart contract – up 72% year over year to $33 trillion. Turns out when President Trump Jr. or whoever’s runnin’ the circus these days says “crypto’s dandy,” Wall Street comes runnin’ faster than a scalded dog.
Summer Mersinger, the doyenne of the Blockchain Association, took to the digital pulpit of X (formerly Twitter, darling) to expound upon the bill’s intricacies and the backstage squabbles of our esteemed lawmakers. 🗣️📜
Rain, one of the largest stablecoin-linked card companies in the cryptocurrency world, has completed its third funding round in less than 12 months. 🚀
The illustrious Bank of New York, seated in the metropolis, did announce this invention earlier today, in a manner most auditable by the public and the press alike.
Market commentator CW (@CW8900) points to $2.78 as the next big notch, born of the 1.618 Fibonacci extension. The projection runs from December 2024’s swing lows near $0.62 up to January’s highs around $2.30 on a four-hour chart.
According to local outlet WSB, Debbie Stanhouse keeps a hawk eye on the family finances and spotted trouble the moment it walked into the (digital) room.
Colombia’s National Directorate of Taxes and Customs (DIAN) is taking the lead, and they’re not messing around. Crypto exchanges and service providers will now have to spill the tea-er, data-on user activity. 📊 This includes everything from Bitcoin to memecoins (yes, even your Doge holdings are under scrutiny). 🪙 Platforms will need to report account details, transaction volumes, asset transfers, market prices, and net balances. Basically, they’re building a crypto dossier on you. 📁
Kev’s analysis involves a convoluted dance of moving averages-30-day vs. 60-day-like some high school romance where the love is tentative, crossing back and forth and confusing everyone. When the short-term (green line) dips below the long-term (gray line), miners are capitulating, and Bitcoin’s price sours; when it crosses back up, miners rally, and the market just might-I repeat, might-rally too. Ah, the thrill of crypto watching-wait, or was that just the caffeine? ☕️
The crypto market, already wobblier than a drunk tightrope walker, is teetering near $3.11 trillion. Will it hold? Or will it face volatility so massive, it’ll make the Spanish Inquisition look like a tea party? 🌪️💸
Morgan Stanley, ever the suave financial charmer, has devised a strategy-a splendid parade of digital assets for the worldly and the wealthy. And when the clocks strike the year 2026, digital currencies, my dear friends, will grace the E*Trade platform.