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Rover, cool as a cucumber in a pickle jar, ain’t sweating it. While others gnash their teeth like a pack of hungry hounds, he’s sitting pretty, his buy zones prepped and ready. He’s got $50 million in orders waiting, not just for Bitcoin but for Ethereum too. That’s right, he’s hedging his bets like a farmer diversifying his crops. 🌽💰

“I am but a loyal hound to a fickle master,” Nailwal mused on X, “even though my devotion has cost me billions-because nothing says ‘gratitude’ like watching your side project lose value while you nobly refrain from rebranding it as a layer 1. How very Victorian of me.” 😒

Darkfost, a prophet of CryptoQuant, proclaims that BTC stirs in the disbelief phase, a limbo where bears cling to their short positions like children to a security blanket. The evidence? Funding rates, those cryptic whispers of the derivatives market, linger slightly negative at -0.004%, a feeble echo of lingering pessimism.

The plan, set for discussion at an upcoming Financial Services Council meeting, would also allow banking groups to register as licensed crypto-exchange operators, giving retail and corporate clients direct access to digital assets through their existing banks. Because nothing says “trust” like letting your bank handle your crypto. 🤯

The Shiba Inu token, that once barked at the stars, now whimpers at $0.000010, a mere 10% rise from its weekend sorrow. Yet, it pales in comparison to the likes of Zcash and Synthetix, whose gains are as grand as a Ukrainian feast. 🥳🍖

Bitcoin (BTC) reached the lofty heights of $111,000 for the first time since October 16. It now sits 7.25% above its yearly low. And yet, it still finds itself in the comforting arms of a correction, down about 12% from its all-time high. Who knew virtual gold could be so volatile?

BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin ETF is sashaying onto the London Stock Exchange (LSE), with shares as physically backed by BTC as a diet of kale and tofu – held securely via Coinbase, because who needs adventures when you’ve got custody? 😏

As the world collectively loses its mind over AI/HPC, Bitcoin miners are scrambling to rebrand like it’s 2000 and everyone’s a dot-com guru. CleanSpark (CLSK) threw its hat into the ring Monday, declaring war on its former self-Bitcoin mining-with a new identity crisis: “We’re now serious about data centers!”