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Summary

Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s mysterious liaison with gold-once a cozy marriage-cracks apart faster than a sour pickle at a banquet. The correlation, which used to be positive-think of it as the cryptic’s version of a steady romance-has now turned sour, plummeting into the negative abyss. Now, instead of dancing together in harmony, BTC and gold are doing their own wild salsa, each in different directions, leaving us all dizzy. 💃🕺

The pullback has been so brutal, it’s like the market watched History of the World, Part I and decided to rewrite the script-63% of Q2-Q3 gains? Gone! Poof! Like a fart in the wind. 💨

But let us peer into the crystal ball of on-chain data, where CryptoQuant’s Net Unrealized Profit/Loss (NUPL) indicator reveals a curious tale. At 0.22, it whispers that the average ETH holder sits on gains as modest as a peasant’s supper. Neither euphoria nor panic reigns-only a cautious optimism, like a cat eyeing a fishbowl. The market, it seems, is stuck in a parlor game of “will it or won’t it?” 🧐

Niels, that sly fox, has drawn his chalk on the board, revealing a Double Bottom formation that’s as predictable as a sunrise. The price, a stubborn mule, has bucked twice from the same low, like a man spitting into the wind. But the market, oh the market, is a fickle lover, and the analysts are all but betting on a comeback. 🧭📈

BlackRock named its iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT) exchange-traded fund (ETF) one of the top three investment themes for 2025, a striking move given bitcoin’s slide this year. Because who needs stability when you can have drama? 🥁

2019, March 2020, late 2022-all saw Western selling theatrics met with Asiatic stoicism, culminating in rallies so predictable they’d make a stock ticker blush. 📈

Aster has audaciously executed a significant token buyback amidst the perennial chaos of the crypto market-like a valiant knight charging into battle on a steed made of blockchain. Stage 4 was gallantly performed last week by the decentralized exchange, with the noble aim of fortifying the market structure of ASTER. And lo, the transparency remained centralized, much to the delight of those voracious traders fixated on wallet movements and price indicators akin to hawks eyeing their next meal. 🦅

Over the weekend, our silver-tongued maestro graced X with his latest riddle: “Green Dots ₿eget Orange Dots.” By Monday, the curtain had lifted, revealing a grand unveiling-Strategy’s USD reserve now a gilded $2.19 billion, thanks to a Form 8-K that reads like a Shakespearean soliloquy. The funds? A sprightly $748 million from at-the-market sales of Class A stock. Balance-sheet flexibility? Of course. Bitcoin hoarding? Still very much the plot twist we adore.

Oh, what grand endeavors does the company embark upon! On the fateful day of December 23, Aster shall unveil the fifth phase of its ASTER buyback program, a venture so audacious it might rival the exploits of ancient heroes. With the dedication of 80% of daily platform fees, it seeks to repurchase tokens, a task … Read more