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CNBC reports that Musk, Altman, and Brockman all showed up in suits (no capes, sadly) at the Ronald V. Dellums Federal Building. Molo told the nine-person jury, “Without Elon Musk, OpenAI would be a footnote in history. Pure and simple.” He also reminded jurors that not everyone’s opinion is good-or bad. Just… there. Meanwhile, crypto.news revealed that it took five hours to find jurors who didn’t openly despise Musk. Judge Gonzalez Rogers admitted, “People don’t like him,” but hey, the show must go on!

Ethereum, alas, began its April 28 dance at $2,303.33, its lowest opening in a fortnight, as reported by the chroniclers of Yahoo Finance. A 2.8% drop from Monday’s $2,369.84, it was as if the crypto investors, those fickle souls, were swayed by twin tempests: the stalled peace parley between the US and Iran, and oil’s sharp ascent above $104. These twin woes cast a risk-off gloom o’er equities and digital treasures, all awaiting the Federal Open Market Committee’s verdict.

Key Takeaways:

For days, the wretched token has oscillated between $1.41 and $1.44, clinging desperately to an ascending trendline, a frail lifeline since April. The technical seers at TradingView proclaim buyers’ dominance at 73.7%, a testament to the sellers’ exhaustion near the $1.40 abyss. Yet, is this not merely the calm before the tempest, the final gasp of a dying man?

Now, the bigwigs are sayin’ open interest in PI futures is spikier than a porcupine’s backside, meanin’ fresh cash is pourin’ in like molasses on a hot day. Traders are gettin’ all bullish, and volume’s risin’ faster than a politician’s promises. Analysts, them smarty-pants types, reckon this is the real deal-not just some firefly flickerin’ in the dark.

At precisely 11:00 UTC on April 28, after a brief interlude of maintenance-a mere hiccup in the grand scheme-CLOB v2 came to life. The existing order books, like yesterday’s news, were swept aside, and traffic was herded into the new exchange stack. A changelog, that most prosaic of documents, proclaimed the arrival of “new Exchange contracts, a rewritten CLOB backend, and a new collateral token (Polymarket USD, or pUSD),” with a stern warning: no backward compatibility for the relics of the past.

Tether’s MDK is billed as an “infrastructure layer” for Bitcoin mining, a single software stack to rule them all-rigs, power systems, monitoring tools, you name it. From hobbyist setups to industrial behemoths, it’s like giving every miner a personal Igor, but without the questionable stitching.

GLXY) swung to a Q1 2026 net loss of $216 million, as a roughly 20% decline in digital asset prices during the quarter pulled the crypto-focused financial services firm into the red despite growing fee and infrastructure revenue. Because nothing says “optimism” like losing money while pretending you’re building a better future.

Oh, the humanity! Tether has finally figured out how to make Bitcoin mining as exciting as watching paint dry, but with more buzzwords. In a stunning display of innovation, they’ve replaced their old, clunky mining rigs with a system so modular, you’ll wonder why you ever settled for a single-purpose contraption. Partnering with Canaan and … Read more

With a staff reduced to 543 souls-a mere shadow of its 708-strong former self-the CFTC dares to claim AI as its savior. Chairman Selig, addressing Congress, declared Microsoft 365 Copilot and machine-learning tools now digest data from exchanges, platforms, and futures markets, flagging anomalies for human inspectors. One might call it “letting robots do the thinking.”