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San Francisco-based crypto security firm Webacy has a knack for attracting famous investors. In 2023, Internet personality Gary Vaynerchuk participated in the startup’s $4 million seed round, alongside firms like Mozilla. On Monday, Webacy announced another funding round, this time with longtime crypto thought leader and former Coinbase CTO Balaji Srinivasan participating. The Sui Foundation and crypto market maker GSR joined Balaji in the new $2.9 million capital raise. 🙃💼

The SEC’s subtle vanishing act isn’t just some administrative shuffle; it’s a carte blanche for the brave, the reckless, and the utterly insane. No more pesky disclosures! Just pure, unadulterated speculative art. 🎨🤹‍♂️

This yield, resilient as a cockroach in a catastrophe, refuses to drop below 4%, disregarding the soothing lullabies of soft economic reports. Even Wednesday’s ADP employment report, which sounded like a bad joke about jobs disappearing faster than socks in a dryer, couldn’t dampen its spirit. A higher yield might just tighten financial belts, discourage risk-hungry investors, and give cryptocurrencies a run for their money-literally.

According to their tokenomics (fancy word alert!), the community gets a whopping 30% of the 10 billion SKR tokens at launch. And hey, there’s an extra 10% for the ‘community treasury’ because why not? 🏦 Meanwhile, the team, growth squad, and Solana Labs are chilling with their shares locked for 12-18 months. Guess they’re not in a rush to cash in. 🕰️

Meanwhile, some clever on-chain metric-let’s call it the “dormancy doodad”-has hit a three-month high. 🌟 Normally, this would be the crypto equivalent of a starting pistol for a price rally. But XRP? It’s just sitting there, sipping tea and wondering where the party is. 🍵🤔 Let’s dive into this financial farce, shall we?

According to the wise folks at CryptoQuant, this move ain’t just a whim-it’s a sign Strategy’s bracing for a market as unpredictable as a dust storm in Oklahoma. 🌪️ That cash reserve? It’s their safety net, meant to cover a year’s worth of dividends and debts, with plans to stretch it to two years or more. Flexibility, they call it. Survival, we call it. 🛟

In a move that might make even the most stoic of financiers raise an eyebrow, Entrée Capital has unveiled a $300 million fund, a sum so grand it could make a Russian nobleman blush. This fund, with its sights set on the early stages of crypto and Web3 infrastructure, is a testament to the growing appetite for blockchain systems that dance seamlessly with modern technology stacks. Ah, the waltz of progress! 💃🕺

Instead of a grand, flashy launch, Schwab’s taking the “slow and steady” approach. First, their employees get to play with it (because who better to test a new system than the folks who already work there?). Then, a lucky few clients get invited to the party. Only after all that will the rest of us plebs get access. It’s like waiting in line for a rollercoaster, but the rollercoaster is your retirement fund. 🎢

The air is crackling with anticipation (and probably a bit of greed) as 21shares US, the crypto wizards, revealed on X (formerly known as Twitter, because why not rename everything?) on Dec. 2 that they’re still waiting for the SEC’s “declaration of effectiveness.” 🧙‍♂️✨ Sounds like something out of a fantasy novel, doesn’t it? Meanwhile, the internet is ablaze with speculation hotter than a dragon’s sneeze. 🔥