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Kalshi, a regulated prediction market platform, has closed a $1 billion funding round that values the company at $11 billion, according to TechCrunch. The round was led by returning investors Sequoia Capital and CapitalG, with participation from Andreessen Horowitz, Paradigm, Anthos Capital, and Neo. (Because nothing says “investment” like a bunch of venture capitalists betting on the stock market’s next crash.)

According to the ever-vigilant Whale Alert (because who doesn’t need a tracker for massive crypto movements?), this ancient behemoth of a holder decided Thursday, November 20, was the perfect day to say, “You know what? I’m done holding onto this digital gold. Time to cash out and buy a fleet of luxury yachts.” 🚀 Or maybe just pay off their student loans. Who knows? The point is, it happened, and the crypto community is now collectively clutching their LEDGERs in horror. 😱

For those not entirely familiar with the intricacies of digital gold, the Bitcoin for America Act would allow you, dear citizen, to swap your hard-earned Bitcoin (currently worth a measly BTC $86,905) for a shiny, new tax receipt. And where would your funds go? Straight into a national Bitcoin reserve. Because, of course, the federal government needs a Bitcoin stash, like a squirrel hoarding nuts for winter. 🐿️

Well, IBIT made a dramatic comeback, pulling in $60.61 million on the 19th, a complete 180 after a disastrous $523 million outflow just one day earlier on November 18th. Talk about a rollercoaster!

In a missive to the crypto masses on X, Cryptorank quipped that the recent market tantrums-volatility, pullbacks, and all-are but a mere hiccup in Bitcoin’s reign. Despite the drama, Bitcoin’s dominance clings to a sturdy 55%, a testament to its unyielding grip on the market. “Broader correction,” they say, not a shift to altcoins. Investors, it seems, are still clinging to Bitcoin like a lifeboat in a storm, unwilling to leap into the altcoin waters just yet. 🌊

Let’s break it down: SOL, with its shiny new ETFs and a promising price tag, is definitely the shiny new toy in crypto’s toy chest. TRX? Oh, it’s on the cusp of an epic comeback, like your favorite comeback story-but better. But then there’s $TAP, quietly creeping into the spotlight, positioned to rock the world of DeFi and TradFi. Not just a coin, but a revolution-and according to the experts, it’s the best crypto presale of 2025. So yeah, no big deal. 😎

Open Interest (OI), once a sprightly $832 million, now totters at $831 million-a 48-hour decline so dramatic it could make a Shakespearean tragedy blush. Traders, ever the pragmatists, are shedding positions like last season’s fashion. Longs and shorts alike are retreating to the sidelines, clutching their portfolios and whispering, “This is definitely not a phase.” 🤚

Leon Waidmann, a man of letters and numbers, has declared that Ethereum, that most insouciant of altcoins, has seized a coveted metric from Bitcoin’s clutches. One might imagine the latter’s face contorting in dismay, much like a dachshund watching a sausage vanish. 🐕🍖

Rather than dancing recklessly with speculation, Singapore’s financially literate elite tiptoe into crypto, integrating it into their portfolios with the precision of a surgeon. Among 3,513 souls surveyed, 61% hold digital assets, yet most cap their exposure at under 10%. The average holder juggles three tokens, a testament to diversification-and perhaps, a fear of juggling too many knives. 🔪🤹♂️

Ah, the daily ritual of market updates, where some bask in glory while others… well, let’s just say they’re “mildly optimistic.”