jpyxx 
See, ol’ Bitcoin had a head start in the market cycle, sprintin’ to new all-time highs before the 2024 halving, and Rekt Capital reckoned it was 260 days ahead of schedule. But just like a runaway mule, that lead has now been tamed.
But lo and behold! Enter the wise analyst, who, with a sardonic smile, proclaims that all is well-at least, that’s what he would have us believe. His secret? A chart, a mystical scroll that reveals XRP dancing within a familiar support zone in a descending channel. Marvelous, isn’t it? It’s like watching a cat squeeze into a box just big enough for its ego.
Japan’s $110 billion stimulus and record 40-year bond yields are setting a precedent for the Fed, which is now trying to keep up with a toddler on a sugar rush. 🍬
Yet, dear friends, Hayes warns us not to rush to buy the dip, as if the stock market’s next steep sell-off were a grand opera we must wait to witness. How thrilling! A steeper sell-off! How very… thrilling. 🎭
And yet, marvel of marvels! Even with the parade of ETFs-VanEck, Fidelity, and the like-draped in their new finery-they couldn’t stop the downward plunge. Volatility roared like a disgruntled bear, and traders, ever the inquisitive, kept their eyes peeled on SOL’s next daring move. 🎭
Sure, it’s up 27% week-on-week, but let’s not pop the champagne 🍾 just yet. The next breakout is as guaranteed as a punchline in a Brooks film-it’s all about timing! ⏳
Realized losses on Bitcoin (BTC) have soared to heights last seen during the FTX implosion of 2022, according to Glassnode, a blockchain data platform that probably charges by the byte. “The scale and speed of these losses reflect a meaningful washout of marginal demand,” they declared, because nothing says “fun” like turning investors into soggy paper towels. Just minutes later, Bitcoin slumped to $80,500 on Coinbase, a 36% plunge from its all-time high. Someone must’ve told the market it was time to play hide-and-seek with its value.
According to the venerable Intersect-an organization so earnest that one might mistake it for a confession-the team laboriously labors with the Cardano Foundation and Input Output, in the eternal struggle against this digital specter. Node operators, those brave souls, are urged to ascend to version 10.5.2, as if upgrading could somehow fend off the heavy hand of fate. Yet, the old-timers running versions below 10.3.1 are told, “Stay as you are, old comrades,” for no action is required from them. Such is the cruel irony-some still unaffected, others caught in the web of despair. 📜
Veteran trader Peter Brandt is pouring cold water on the dream of a six‑figure Bitcoin by New Year’s Eve. While some high‑profile bulls called for $200K per $BTC in 2025, Brandt argues that kind of blow‑off top is more likely several years away, around Q3 2029 instead. 🧊 (He’s like a wet blanket at a champagne party.)
