Metaplanet’s $100M Bitcoin Loan: A Comedy of Crypto Collateral! 🎭💰

In a move that screams “I’m not crazy, my crypto is crazy!” the digital asset treasure hunters at Metaplanet Inc. announced they’ve executed a $100 million loan using bitcoin as collateral. According to their Nov. 4, 2025, notice, this loan is renewed daily-because why commit long-term when you can live on the edge? 🪢 The Tokyo Stock Exchange-listed company (TSE: 3350) finalized the deal on Halloween, proving even financial moves can be spooky! 👻

Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: From $185K to $120K in One Day! 🚀💸

Tuesday belonged to the bears. Bitcoin ( BTC) plunged below $100K triggering nearly $500 million in BTC liquidations. It was the first time the cryptocurrency had entered sub-$100K territory since June 2025. Prior to that, analysts had thrown out price predictions ranging anywhere from $150K to $500K. But after Tuesday’s precipitous retreat, crypto research firm Galaxy, which had previously proposed a $185K year-end price, slashed that target to $120K. 🧠💥

Crypto DATs: The Great Escape Hatch for Greed 🤑💨

With a wave of his hand, he dismisses the exceptions, counting them on one hand like a miser tallying his last coins. “Dozens upon dozens,” he laments, “launched not with vision, but with the greed of a starving wolf at a feast.” 🐺💰

The Curiously Grand Debut of WisdomTree’s Ingenious NAV Feed!

Bitcoin Image

As of the fourth day of November, this fine feed reports a net asset value of a most respectable $25.70. It presents a most audacious feat: publicly auditable pricing that frees the astute gentlemen and ladies of finance to verify the fund’s true worth on-chain. What a salubrious development for the tender sensibilities of our monetary pursuits! 🤑

Ripple Bags $500M and a $40B Valuation-Here’s What That Means for Crypto

On November 5, Garlinghouse took to X (formerly known as Twitter…because we all love a rebrand) to announce that, despite the global crypto market’s “mild” panic attack recently, Ripple has had an absolute whirlwind of a year. And surprise! The $500 million funding didn’t just come from Fortress. Oh no. Brevan Howard and Marshall Wace also decided to hop on the Ripple train and invest in the future of crypto. 🚂💰

Bitcoin Dreams and Market Nightmares: Gorky’s Take on the Crypto Saga

Crypto chaos

Whales, those greedy monsters, heave 400,000 Bitcoin into the abyss this October, causing waves of panic and ripples of doubt. Meanwhile, the jet-set crowd turns their gaze elsewhere-gold, AI, stablecoins-like restless children abandoning their toys in the mud. The market, ever fickle, trembles under the weight of leveraged liquidations. Truly, the chaos of capitalism knows no ground, no rhythm, just frantic pounding. 🐋💸