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The Bank of Japan (BoJ) is expected to raise interest rates for the first time since January, increasing the policy rate by 25 basis points to 0.75% from 0.50%, according to Nikkei. The decision, which is expected on Dec. 19, would take Japanese interest rates to their highest level in roughly 30 years. 🕰️

The company, previously known as MicroStrategy, has become the largest corporate holder of Bitcoin (BTC). With its latest purchase of 10,624 Bitcoin for around $962.7 million last week, Strategy’s total holdings stand at 660,624 BTC, worth nearly $60 billion. A digital gold rush, or a fool’s errand? 📉💰

Here’s the skinny on what’s churning the digital stir about!

The announcement itself was a perfectly orchestrated piece of digital theater. ‘Out of testing!’ they chirped. As if a period of controlled observation somehow guarantees reality-proof performance. One imagines a gaggle of engineers in white coats, nodding sagely as lines of code obediently behave under duress. How quaint.

Car, malgré ces exploits de haut vol, le pauvre XRP ne semble pas apaiser ses souffrances. Il bataille encore et toujours pour tenir la barre au-delà de la mystérieuse barre des 2 dollars, alors que ses conquêtes triomphantes font pâle figure face à la gravité du marché. Qui aurait cru? Les victoires légales, les alliances européennes, et pourtant, cela ne semble pas faire bouger d’un iota la valeur de cette précieuse pierre de distraction.

In the shadow of the digital colossus, RaveDAO ascended, its $RAVE token igniting the sacred temples of the crypto priesthood-Binance Alpha, Kraken, Bitget, MEXC, Gate, and Aster. Such a coordinated ascent is a rare occurrence in the annals of crypto history, akin to a miracle. Yet, here we are, amid the fervor of early traders, … Read more

Ripple [XRP], that elusive specter of crypto, remains a darling of the financial elite, yet its price clings to $2 like a beggar to a coin purse. Capital flows in, a veritable Tsar of inflows, while the price yawns and scribbles “Later” on the wall. One might think the asset was rehearsing for a role in The Cherry Orchard-waiting for a miracle that never arrives. 🍒

The mining fraternity fares no better, one might say. According to the esteemed Glassnode, total miner revenue hath plummeted from 562 BTC in mid-October to a mere 502 BTC now-a reduction of eleven per cent! Such is the plight of miners, who now feel the squeeze as revenue and profitability take a tumble, much like a gentleman’s hat in a summer storm. 🌧️

Who knew? The Depository Trust & Clearing Corporation (DTCC)-that venerable institution where financial dinosaurs park their pensions-has been granted a no-action letter (NAL) by the SEC to tokenize DTC-custodied assets. On December 11th, they announced it on X with all the subtlety of a brass band. Because nothing says “innovation” like a 30-year-old company leveraging blockchain, right?

These projections arrive, conveniently, as the crypto markets attempt a rather pathetic recovery. Bitcoin, that aging veteran, is already lagging behind its earlier self this year. A tragedy, truly. A tragedy for those who bought the hype, anyway. 🎭