jpyxx Binance, in all its glory, has graciously informed us that it’s time for a little Ethereum network spa day. 🧖♂️ Deposits and withdrawals will be taking a nap from 05:55 UTC, because apparently, even blockchains need beauty rest. 💤
On December 24, 2025, the slippery little thing known as silver prices on the Shanghai Gold Exchange managed to climb to the high heavens, with the Ag(T+D) spot contract nestling close to 19,400 Chinese yuan per kilogram. That’s a rollicking ~$78.55 per ounce at the time, thanks to the USD/CNY rate dangling around 7.015. This means Shanghai silver played fancy dress and dove above global standards on Comex, where futures timidly concluded their performance at $72.36 per troy ounce.
Despite the market being more red than a lobster at a sunburn convention, Shiba Inu’s open interest has jumped a cool 3.42% in the last 24 hours. Traders are throwing a whopping 11.03 trillion SHIB into the futures market like it’s a game of fetch. 🐾 According to the futures market data, SHIB is basically the prom queen of crypto right now, flipping Bitcoin and XRP like they’re yesterday’s news. 💅
With the VIX-a.k.a. the “fear index”-slunk down to its lowest level since the dawn of 2025, folks are whispering that risk-takers might finally dust off their wallets. Ben Emons, a self-proclaimed “Fed Whisperer” at FedWatch Advisors, claims this could spark a short-term rally. “If liquidity returns like a long-lost uncle with a suitcase of cash, Bitcoin might just waltz back into fashion,” he declared, sipping his eggnog with the solemnity of a man who’s seen too many bear markets.
Based in the sunny shores of Singapore, HashKey Capital has recently raised a whopping $250 million for its latest venture, dubbed the HashKey Fintech Multi-Strategy Fund IV. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a part of this crypto rollercoaster ride?
On Tuesday, Hyperliquid’s validators and stakers, with the gravity of a country assembly discussing a contested estate, voted to consign the HYPE tokens in the Assistance Fund to the eternal vault of non-existence. This act, they declared, would “remove lingering ambiguity” as if such things were ever truly ambiguous.
Ethereum (ETH) dropped to $2,900. Not the worst price since it peaked at $4,960, but still high enough to make me regret not buying the dip. Or was it a dip? Who knows anymore. 🤷
In a 24-hour span, the firm, in its relentless pursuit of… well, something, deposited another $430 million into the crypto void, as if the market’s tremors were mere whispers of a deeper, darker truth. 🕯️🔍
So, in December, XPL is doing its best impression of a falling leaf-down over 92% from its peak-while the network’s on-chain payment activity is booming. CoinMarketCap and on-chain geeks agree: there’s a wild disconnect here, which makes about as much sense as trying to herd cats. 🐱💻
Just when you least expected it, XRP is poised to produce a candle so legendary, it’ll be etched in the annals of crypto history. And no, it’s not powered by the usual retail rabble-this move is all about real economic mojo on the XRP Ledger. Once XRP starts acting as a proper settlement asset-like the sophisticated financial instrument it aspires to be-volatility will bow to stability, instead of roaring around like a lunatic. It’s almost as if the asset is finally graduating from impulsive speculation to serious infrastructural darling. And, heavens to Betsy, liquidity and demand will keep it anchored faster than you can say “market credibility!”