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City Hall’s move is broader than just a payments toggle. Officials unveiled four measures: adding crypto activities to the economic-activity nomenclator (because bureaucracy loves a good alphabet soup), exempting virtual-asset service providers from certain bank-collection regimes, shifting the taxable base for crypto trading to net spread (because why tax the whole universe when you can just tax the crumbs?), and enabling QR payments for taxes and services. The government called it a “regulatory tune-up”-a phrase that sounds suspiciously like “we’re making this up as we go along.”

Well, well, well. It turns out that Bitcoin’s rocket-fueled rise is making even the so-called “experts” look like they were reading a different script. Enter Kenneth Rogoff, the Maurits C. Boas Professor at Harvard (I mean, this guy was the chief economist at the IMF, so no pressure, right?). On August 19, this top-tier brainiac took to X (yes, that’s what we’re calling Twitter now) to admit he was *slightly* off on his 2018 prediction about Bitcoin.

Lo and behold, the TRON network shall now prance alongside the likes of Solana and BNB Chain, becoming the third act in this tokenized extravaganza since the debut of Backed’s xStocks in June. According to a proclamation dated August 20, these xStocks are already parading via Kraken in over 140 realms, with more lands to be enchanted in the weeks to come. 🎭

The market, eternally optimistic like a drunken debutante, reports via CoinMarketCap (bless them) that BNB’s trading volume ballooned by more than 26 percent. At present, it hovers near $3.4 billion-a figure that is as reassuring as it is entirely baffling to those of us tethered to reality. 📈💸

Most policymakers agreed that keeping rates unchanged was the right move-how terribly dull-but two senior members, Michelle Bowman and Christopher Waller, begged to differ. They pushed for a cut, citing signs of a cooling labor market. And wouldn’t you know it? Their fears were confirmed faster than you can say “recession,” with July’s jobs data revealing a slowdown so severe it erased over 250,000 positions from previous months. How gauche. 📉

Ash Crypto, presumably surrounded by blinking monitors and too much caffeine, shared a 4-hour Ethereum chart on X (formerly known as “That Place Everyone Complains About”). He noted ETH is currently loitering around $4,190, practically lounging above the $4,150 support like it’s waiting for someone to bring snacks. This price level has been acting as Ethereum’s security blanket, at least for now.

You see, nearly every big shot in the crypto trade biz sent a letter to President Trump, hollering loud and clear: “Y’all gotta push this nomination through, pronto!” But the Senate’s been acting like a sleepy cat – canceling votes and all. The Winklevoss twins, who might have been friends before, showed up with their pitchforks, claiming Quintenz don’t align with their fancy ideals and urging the President to toss him aside like yesterday’s newspaper.

Bitcoin (BTC) has crashed to $113,000, down from this month’s high of $124,200. Ethereum (ETH) is now at $4,200, and the market cap of all cryptocurrencies has retreated to a mere $3.8 trillion. (Just a casual loss of a small country’s GDP!) 💸

In a parchment penned for Fortune (forsooth, they still read such things?), the bank’s soothsayers proclaim that these digital tokens, shackled to the almighty dollar like Prometheus to his rock, might swell into a market of trillions. A modern-day El Dorado, but with more blockchain and fewer conquistadors. 🚀

Bitcoin, once our luminous ₿ride in scarlet robes of $113,000, staggers now, crown of thorns askew, toward the sepulcher of August despair. The fatal kiss came clothed in hotter-than-ever macro data-numbers that sizzled like false prophets on the grill of reality. Who among us did not, just last week, toast golden goblets to 69,000 dreams, only to find the chalice now holds naught but leveraged tears? 🤡