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The Wall Street Journal, bearer of all things financial yet quirky, shared that the asset-management arm of this banking behemoth, which holds the hefty honor of managing nearly $4 trillion in assets, has now launched a tokenized money-market fund. And just for kicks, it’s built on the Ethereum blockchain, backed by a cool $100 million of JPMorgan’s own capital. They even gave it a name: MONY™️, because what else would you call a cash management vehicle infused with blockchain? Money On (a) Net Yell? 😂

We regret to confirm that the legacy Ribbon DOV vaults were exploited yesterday following a vulnerability in a smart contract update, resulting in a loss of approximately $2.7M USD.

“This proposal requests a grant for software research and development work, as well as related activities for the continued benefit of Curve,” Egorov said in the proposal posted on the Curve DAO governance on Dec. 14. Because nothing says “innovation” like asking for millions of dollars in cryptocurrency. 💸

Le 14 décembre 2025, une nouvelle tirée de la plus grande fanfare bondit hors de l’obscurité : YO Labs a annoncé une levée de fonds en série A à hauteur de dix millions de pièces d’or ! Foundation Capital prend la tête de ce ballet masqué, avec les partenaires de cabriole Coinbase Ventures, Scribble Ventures, et Launchpad Capital. 🎩

With the gates of South Korea’s crypto kingdom now wide open, WET has been gifted a golden ticket to adventure. On the 15th of December, at 18:30 KST, trading will begin on both platforms-just in time for your mid-evening tea break! 🍵📈

Lo and behold, Bitcoin took a tumble during the Asian trading session, as if the market’s fickle nature had finally caught up with it. Yet, fear not, dear reader-the bigger picture remains constructive, as if the cosmos itself had scribbled a bullish note in the stars. BTC has returned to test its multi-year trendline, a level that has supported every major higher low since 2023, as if it were a well-trained parrot repeating its master’s words. So long as this trendline holds, the move appears to be a “healthy reset in momentum,” which, in simpler terms, means the market is playing hide-and-seek with its own sanity. Traders, ever the intrepid explorers, now watch this key support like a detective with a magnifying glass and a cup of lukewarm coffee. 🕵️‍♂️

In a recent statement, the exchange claimed the team borrowed ‘significant amounts of USDT’ and used OM as collateral to ‘inflate’ the price of the token. Because nothing says “I’m innocent” like accusing someone of price manipulation. 🤡

The market, ever the clever fox, is now fixated on those key levels, like a child fixated on a shiny toy. Ted Pillows, the wise old owl, says Bitcoin hasn’t found its direction yet. 🦉

Analysts suggest Bitcoin could surge between $300,000 and $600,000 if these catalysts materialize. Because nothing says “I’m a serious investor” like betting on a number that’s longer than your ex’s Instagram bio. 🧠💸

According to a missive dispatched to CryptoPotato, Teng envisions a future where the crypto sector transcends its current state of frenzied speculation and enters a realm of… dare we say it… maturity. A world where blockchain is no longer a whispered secret but a cornerstone of global finance. 🏦