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Apparently, Jane Street is playing it cool, claiming they’re just passively eyeing the miners-like a snooping neighbor who politely signals whether he’s watching from behind the curtains or actually planning to sneak in. No activist ambitions here, just a humble nod of confidence, or maybe a wager that Bitcoin’s rollercoaster might be worth a ride. The stakes-about 5% in each of these mining companies-are like a whisper compared to the roaring markets, but enough to make traders jittery and analysts squint.

The amended complaint, a document birthed from the cold logic of the New York federal court, alleges that Chow, alongside his co-conspirators at Kelsier Ventures (managed by the Davis clan – a family, one suspects, with an appetite for both risk and, perhaps, the finer things in life), exploited the good names – or at least the public recognition – of persons of considerable stature. The First Lady of the United States, Mrs. Melania Trump, and the energetic President Milei of Argentina, were, shall we say, utilized. Their images, their endorsements (or perhaps merely their association) lent a veneer of legitimacy to schemes designed to separate fools from their crypto. 🤦‍♀️ It is a modern tragedy, the exploitation of public trust for the sake of… well, for the sake of more tokens.

By Shayan, the soothsayer of crypto charts

Polymarket, the prediction market that’s apparently too cool to rush things, is finally getting around to launching a token and an airdrop. CMO Matthew Modabber, while presumably sipping artisanal blockchain tea, explained on the Degenz Live podcast that they could have done this ages ago, but why hurry when you can drag it out like a Netflix season finale?

So the crypto economy decided to throw a tantrum this week. Gained $100B, lost $100B, then casually recovered to $3.83 trillion. Net gain: 3.5%. Exciting stuff. Like watching paint dry, but with more emojis. 🎨

The link between the PMI and Bitcoin’s price, once a mere flicker of curiosity, now burns bright in the minds of crypto prophets. Raoul Pal, that visionary of the crypto desert, first dared to whisper the truth: “All 3 past Bitcoin peaks danced to the PMI’s tune.” 🧙♂️

The bank also whispered secrets about Coinbase’s USDC rewards and new Base-integrated DEX features, which supposedly boost profits and risk-management levers. Or maybe they just wanted to sound important. 🤷‍♂️

Behold! Ripple’s CEO proclaims XRP as the “center of everything,” as if it were the navel of the financial universe. 🌍✨

During an exclusive chat with The Crypto Times’ founder and CEO, Hardik Katariya (a man who surely knows a thing or two about buzzwords), Danny Sanders, Trezor’s CCO, waxed poetic on innovation, self-custody, and the existential dread of AI. One suspects he might have also mentioned coffee, but we shall see.

Crypto sage RealMacro, with a gaze as piercing as a dagger, proclaims that Bitcoin’s price may soon crack like a poorly baked soufflé. 🍰💥 Consolidating around $110,000? A critical inflection point, they say, where the price is as stagnant as a pond in winter. ❄️🌊