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Among the top performers, Monero (XMR) and Zcash (ZEC) continue to dominate the sector like a pair of wizards casting spells in a cryptocurrency wizard school. Their market caps? Over $6.2 billion and $5.6 billion respectively-because nothing says “I’m secret” like a huge number. 🧙‍♂️

In a cheeky little post on X (you know, that place where people pretend to be Hollywood stars), Adez pointed out that Bitcoin sashayed from about $111,000 to $115,500-everyone’s jumping for joy, thinking the moon’s imminent. Turns out, it’s more like a magician’s trick! 🎩✨

Bitcoin, that stalwart of the crypto realm, is joined by Ethereum and XRP, as if the metals themselves have donned digital armor. A stablecoin symphony plays on, with Tether and USDC waltzing alongside the rest. A modern marvel, indeed 🧾.

The Federal Reserve, with the precision of a surgeon, plans to trim rates by 25 basis points on the 29th of October, a step it had earlier deemed necessary. Yet, this act, like a candle in a storm, will not sway the markets. With the government’s shutdown locking away the data, the Fed is left in a void, its eyes blind to the true state of inflation and labor, as if navigating a ship without a compass. 🚢

Markets Turn Red Before the Fed’s Rate Decision

Gather your coffee, for the markets are anything but tranquil this week-more chaotic than a parrot in a hurricane. Between shifting whale positions, record Bitcoin sell-offs, and a high-stakes Fed decision, traders are bracing for fireworks as bulls and bears fight for control of the next big crypto move. 🐋💥

In a cosmic twist worthy of a Dostoevskian plot, Uphold-a nimble-fingered maestro of fintech solutions-has boldly proclaimed its harmonious union with the Exactly Protocol. This whimsical synergy will allow its customers to earn yields or procure credit with the same ease as one might secure a pastry at a roadside stall, all through the digital whispers of XRP ($XRP) and Bitcoin ($BTC).

WLFI is trying to recover from that ugly flash crash on October 10. It’s like trying to get your favorite jeans back on after you ate an entire pizza. The price bottomed out at $11.87, but then it pulled itself together and climbed to a “higher low” at $13.30. It even briefly hit $13.37, which honestly felt a little too much like déjà vu-slightly weakening the overall vibe. Still, the long-term outlook isn’t

XRP, the darling of the crypto cotillion, slipped 0.4% in the past 24 hours, now twirling at $2.63. She’s up 9.4% this week but down the same amount over the month-such drama! 😱 At this rate, she’s 27% below her July heyday of $3.65. Oh, the scandal! 💔

On a Tuesday that could have been spent contemplating the absurdity of existence, our visionary Matt Hougan foretold that the BSOL beast might devour the portfolios of the fat cats in suits, ascending to the Olympus of crypto idols. Ah, the irony – as if beans and Solana could coexist in harmony!