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With the VIX-a.k.a. the “fear index”-slunk down to its lowest level since the dawn of 2025, folks are whispering that risk-takers might finally dust off their wallets. Ben Emons, a self-proclaimed “Fed Whisperer” at FedWatch Advisors, claims this could spark a short-term rally. “If liquidity returns like a long-lost uncle with a suitcase of cash, Bitcoin might just waltz back into fashion,” he declared, sipping his eggnog with the solemnity of a man who’s seen too many bear markets.

Based in the sunny shores of Singapore, HashKey Capital has recently raised a whopping $250 million for its latest venture, dubbed the HashKey Fintech Multi-Strategy Fund IV. I mean, who doesn’t want to be a part of this crypto rollercoaster ride?

On Tuesday, Hyperliquid’s validators and stakers, with the gravity of a country assembly discussing a contested estate, voted to consign the HYPE tokens in the Assistance Fund to the eternal vault of non-existence. This act, they declared, would “remove lingering ambiguity” as if such things were ever truly ambiguous.

Ethereum (ETH) dropped to $2,900. Not the worst price since it peaked at $4,960, but still high enough to make me regret not buying the dip. Or was it a dip? Who knows anymore. 🤷

In a 24-hour span, the firm, in its relentless pursuit of… well, something, deposited another $430 million into the crypto void, as if the market’s tremors were mere whispers of a deeper, darker truth. 🕯️🔍

So, in December, XPL is doing its best impression of a falling leaf-down over 92% from its peak-while the network’s on-chain payment activity is booming. CoinMarketCap and on-chain geeks agree: there’s a wild disconnect here, which makes about as much sense as trying to herd cats. 🐱💻

Just when you least expected it, XRP is poised to produce a candle so legendary, it’ll be etched in the annals of crypto history. And no, it’s not powered by the usual retail rabble-this move is all about real economic mojo on the XRP Ledger. Once XRP starts acting as a proper settlement asset-like the sophisticated financial instrument it aspires to be-volatility will bow to stability, instead of roaring around like a lunatic. It’s almost as if the asset is finally graduating from impulsive speculation to serious infrastructural darling. And, heavens to Betsy, liquidity and demand will keep it anchored faster than you can say “market credibility!”

Bitcoin, that fickle tsar of digital currencies, ascended to a record high above $126,000 in early October, only to be toppled by a liquidation event so colossal-$19 billion!-it would make even Chichikov blush. 📉💸

HashKey Capital, a subsidiary of HashKey Holdings, said it closed the first round of fundraising for its fourth crypto fund, locking in $250 million from a mix of institutional investors, family offices and high-net-worth individuals. 💸

This revolution didn’t happen overnight. After the exploit reared its ugly head in early November, the validators first tried a soft fork – blockchain’s version of a warning shot. But when that didn’t scare the hacker straight, they went full-on hard fork, a move as controversial as a socialist at a Wall Street gala. 🍴🔨