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The year 2025, it seems, has brought with it a chill wind of strategic recalibration to the halls of Nike. The sale, whispered about in hushed tones, has sent shockwaves through the cryptosphere, causing a 195% surge in RTFKT’s market activity-a frenzy of trading that would make even the most jaded speculator raise an eyebrow. And lo, the Clone X NFT floor prices, once languishing in the doldrums, have leapt like a startled cat, igniting a spark of hope in the hearts of holders and traders alike. 🤑

In a podcast called Moonshots, Musk told the host, Peter Diamandis, that he believes the only real currency in the future would be “energy” or, as he put it, “how much power is being turned into work of some kind.” A poetic way of saying, “Let’s all be slaves to the sun.” ☀️

CoinDepo, that shimmering mirage of passive income, claims to turn your crypto into a never-ending fountain of fiat. But beyond the neon-lit slogans, one must ask: is it a gilded cage or a golden ticket? 🎟️ Investors, ever the hopeful, need to peer behind the curtain, lest they find themselves dancing to a tune played by a ghost. 🕯️

Meanwhile, the SEC, now apparently led by someone who might have confused their job with a game of Monopoly, is pondering whether to accept this digital speculation as an official asset class. With Chair Paul Atkins, a man whose enthusiasm for crypto could probably power a small moon colony, the fate of these filings is as predictable as a cat deciding it owns the keyboard.

Pepperstone’s JPYX, a curious beast measuring yen’s strength against EUR, USD, AUD, NZD-now a stage for BTC’s tragic romance. Bitcoin, that noble “digital gold,” now shadows the yen’s every flicker. A diversifier? Ha! It’s merely a double bet on Japan’s fiscal waltz.

Everyone’s now comparing it to Bitcoin. Naturally. Because if something is vaguely financial, it must be like Bitcoin. Analysts are whispering about “breakouts” and “potential.” As if markets are predictable, and not just a giant, chaotic shrug. 🤔

Additionally, XRP-our virtuous, agile triathlete-has leaped past the good old BNB. Can you believe it? What was once nothing more than a humble possessor of the fourth rank has now arrogated itself to the third! And to think, one might walk into San Francisco without seeing a ripple of fame… until the last quarter of the year that is!

Bitcoin’s price has struggled to break through $95,000, as many sellers stepped in to prevent it from rising further.

Over in Hong Kong, as the sun peeked over the horizon, BTC took a modest dip, but it’s still stuck in its range, like a tourist lost in a maze. George Mandres, a crypto sage at XBTO, reckons it’s a tug-of-war between prices soaring to match the highs of stocks and gold, or slumping to respect some mystical four-year cycle. “A self-fulfilling prophecy,” he mutters, stroking his chin.

Kim, a 25-year veteran of the National Intelligence Service who later traded spy games for politics, now faces at least nine corruption allegations. Spoiler: Most involve “I did it for the family business” energy. 💁‍♂️