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This order commands the Department of Labor (DOL) and the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to lower regulatory barriers faster than a banana peel in a slapstick scene. 🍌😂 Currently, these barriers keep investments in alternative assets-like private equity, real estate, digital assets, and commodities-out of 401(k) retirement plans. But fear not, the government is here to save the day… or is it?
Ezeebit, the darling of South African crypto enthusiasts, has indeed ensnared $2.05 million (R34.9 million) in seed funding, under the patronage of Raba Partnership-previously an early supporter of Flutterwave, no less-and the decidedly American Founder Collective. How quaint!
The mild winds of autumn in 2025 brought a soulless calm to the then-bustling saga of Bitcoin adoption, as public enthusiasm waned. Yet, the immutable giants continued, as ever, to stack their cryptic captives, lifting the veiled curtain on the portal of corporate crypto-entrancement. However, these big players held the reins; their presence alone making lightly-restrained mockery of the tepid enthusiasm from the smaller participants 🙄.
Marching into this expiry carnival, traders are tiptoeing through a minefield of market sentiment, largely due to the eerie thinness of year-end liquidity and a few snide macro developments. It’s a decisive moment when only the bold (or the foolish) dare to make a move. 🤔
Save the Children, a humanitarian organization for children, announced on Dec. 11 the launch of a Bitcoin Fund developed in partnership with digital asset leader Fortris. The fund is designed to transform how financial resources are held, managed and delivered in times of crisis. 🤔💸
Tangem and Aave have apparently decided that bridging self-custody and DeFi is the pinnacle of human achievement. Meanwhile, I’m out here wondering why my bank account isn’t this complicated. 🤢
Coinbase, ever the romantic, has pledged its undying loyalty to Chainlink’s Cross-Chain Interoperability Protocol (CCIP). Why? Because nothing says “trust” like putting all your wrapped assets in one basket-a basket guarded by Chainlink’s oracles, who may or may not be whispering sweet price feeds into DeFi’s ear.
The Digital Watch Observatory, that tireless sentinel of the digital age, declares May’s transactions a tempest of 3,421 bitcoins. A transfer of 2,343 BTC, a spectral journey to a new SegWit address. One might imagine the blockchain itself shuddering at the thought of such movement.
It all began with the spectacular collapse of not one, but two digital currencies made by Terraform Labs – a whopping $40 billion vanishing faster than your paycheck on payday. The crypto world went bananas! 🥴💸
Fresh from the wizards at CryptoQuant and CoinGecko (who clearly have a crystal ball that’s been gathering dust), the meme sector’s nosedive is wilder than Uncle Mel’s crazy schemes. Guess what? No new laughs, no fresh memes, and retail is about as lively as a zombie at a salsa dance. 🧟♂️💃
