jpyxx Bitcoin’s nosedive beneath $100K wasn’t just a casual slip up after a couple too many drinks. Oh no. This was a masterclass in “what can go wrong when markets panic.” Experts are now blaming a cocktail of liquidity issues and structural problems, served in a glass of regret.
Ethereum’s price tried to do its best impression of a rocket, but reality kicked in. After failing to break above $3,550, ETH started a graceful descent back to Earth, just like Bitcoin. Classic.
On the 11th of November-because why not give us all a little shock to remember-the news hit: Shiba Inu has entered into a strategic alliance with Unity Nodes, a decentralized telecommunications network. And what a defining moment this is! Gone are the days when SHIB was just a fluffy joke of the crypto world. Now, it’s a technology-integrated digital asset with a practical use case-whatever that means in this wild world of ours.
In case you missed it, Bitcoin’s narrative has gone through what can only be described as a ‘fundamental transaction’. According to a rather cryptic post from the Arch Network (because, of course, they’re cryptic), the institutional players are no longer ’emerging’. No, they’ve practically taken over. With the Spot Bitcoin ETF now hoarding over 1 million BTC – about 5% of the total supply – it’s clear that Bitcoin isn’t just for hobbyists anymore. Daily inflows in mid-2025 are averaging between $300 million and $500 million. That’s right, BILLIONS are flowing in, and we’re not talking about your grandma’s retirement savings here. We’re talking about $60 billion in cumulative assets. 🚀
Turns out, this feud revolves around the GENIUS Act, a law that says stablecoin issuers can’t hand out interest. But here’s the twist: it doesn’t say anything about crypto exchanges doing it. It’s like writing a rulebook that bans pineapple on pizza but forgets to mention anchovies. 🍕❓
Announced Nov. 12 by founder Lyron Co Ting Keh (a name that sounds like it belongs in a spy movie), this funding round-joined by Polychain, dao5, Amber Group, TrueBridge Capital, and LayerZero Labs-brings Seismic’s total to $17 million. For context, that’s about what you’d pay for a private jet if you asked Elon. ✈️
BeLaunch, in a display of analytical rigour that one assumes involved much chart-staring and pronouncements of “interesting patterns,” has devised two scenarios. Naturally, one is far more palatable than the other. The favoured option, enjoying a frankly generous 8/10 probability, hinges upon SUI conquering a rather obstinate red dashed line. Apparently, “Wave (2)” has completed its cycle, which is, one gathers, a very good thing. Wave (3) is impending, and will presumably involve a great deal of hooting and cheering amongst the cognoscenti. 🚀
In a dramatic X post (formerly Twitter, darling), Filiz (@kurcenli34) declares that FLOKI/USDT is “trapped” in a descending channel-crypto’s answer to a tragic love affair. Price hovers near $0.00006221, a level so specific it could be a bank account PIN. Historically, this zone has sparked brief rebounds, though one suspects buyers are less “accumulating” and more “praying.”
In a move that could only be described as bold (or desperate, depending on your perspective), Mastercard’s money-movement division has partnered with Thunes. The duo promises to deliver payouts to stablecoin wallets across a mind-boggling 200+ markets. Not bad, eh? Soon, your wallet could be richer than your bank account. How’s that for a plot twist? 😏
The HBAR/USD hourly chart, my dear, is serving us a chilled cocktail of moderation. Currently sipping at $0.17493, it’s all rather blasé after that brief flirtation with $0.20. Analysts, those clever darlings, whisper of profit-taking and exhausted bulls. How tragic! 🐂💨
