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Bitcoin’s Bull Channel: Deviation, Retest, or Downward Spiral? 🤔💸
As we limp into the final stretch of 2025 (because let’s face it, this year has been a wild ride 🎢), the big question is: Will BTC bounce back like a champ, or are we in for more financial heartbreak? 💔💰
Ethereum’s 2026 Dream Crumbles: $555M Exodus Shakes Crypto World 🌌💸

The long-awaited Ethereum-led altseason of 2026 lies in tatters, a dream deferred by the cruel hand of market whims.
Bitmine’s Ethereum Stash Hits 4M – 5% Goal in Sight? 🚀
“Bitmine continues to add steadily to its ETH holdings, adding 98,852 ETH in the past week, and Bitmine holdings now exceed the crucial 4 million ETH tokens,” said Bitmine Chairman Thomas “Tom” Lee in an official press release. A declaration as dramatic as a witch’s spell. 🧙♂️
Aave’s $10M Civil War: DAO vs Labs – Who Owns the Brand? 💥
Aave is tearing itself apart. And the crypto world is watching closely, because nothing says “excitement” like a $10M battle over who owns the brand. 🧠💥
Bitcoin’s Jolly Little Christmas Cap – Will It Ever Break Free?

What’s more, Bitcoin is lounging close to the cost basis of those brave U.S. spot ETF holders, creating a tricky little trap. No runaways, no stampedes – just a sleepy, wait-and-see game while traders twiddle their thumbs, hoping for some grand catalyst to turn the tide under these low-liquidity lights.
💰 Wall Street’s New Toy: JPMorgan’s Crypto Gambit (Spoiler: It’s Not for You 😂)
JPMorgan Chase & Co. is reportedly “exploring” crypto trading for institutions. Because nothing says innovation like a 200-year-old bank jumping into a market it mocked a decade ago. How avant-garde!
JPMorgan & Crypto: A Most Unexpected Turn!

And now, a rather startling communiqué from Bloomberg: JPMorgan, that bastion of sensible banking presided over by the ever-sceptical Jamie Dimon, is considering a foray into allowing its institutional clients to dabble in the crypto shenanigans. Honestly, the thought!
Institutional Capital Jumps On-Chain: 1,000x Growth?

Asset tokenization is emerging as a structural shift in digital finance as institutional participation deepens, with growth expectations far exceeding its current footprint. Grayscale Investments released its 2026 Digital Asset Outlook last week, identifying asset tokenization as reaching an inflection point and projecting the sector could expand by roughly 1,000 times by 2030 as it becomes more integrated into global capital markets. 🧠📈