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Our intrepid prognosticator, armed with nothing but a protractor and a penchant for historical patterns, has identified a recurring motif in Bitcoin’s cyclical ballet: a May peak followed by a precipitous plunge. In 2014, 2018, and 2022, the market, with the predictability of a clockwork orange, reached its zenith in May only to collapse like a soufflé in a thunderstorm. This year, he assures us, shall be no different. With BTC currently flirting with the $78,000 mark, Merlijn foresees a 60.73% nosedive, leaving the price languishing near $33,000. One can almost hear the collective gasp of bulls, their horns dulled by the prospect of such a fall.

Ethena, that cheeky stablecoin, is looping on MegaETH and attracting more gossip than a wizard convention. Users stash USDE, borrow USDM, and then repeat the process in a virtuous circle that could make a hamster dizzy with delight.

As a crypto investor, I’ve been watching Ethereum closely this week, and it’s been pretty stable, trading around $2,306 as of May 2nd. It’s actually down just a tiny bit – less than a quarter of a percent – over the last seven days, according to CoinGlass. It feels like we’re seeing a pause before the next big move, rather than a strong price increase, and it keeps bouncing around that $2,300 mark.

Dogecoin, the coin that somehow survived its own meme, is hovering near $0.1089. It’s like that friend who’s always “fine” but you know they’re one bad day away from a meltdown. Meanwhile, investors are squinting at Fibonacci levels and momentum signals, because apparently, staring at charts is the new meditation.

The movement comes with the stubborn RSI glow, a clean retest of the breakout on the four-hour chart, and a ledger of numbers that speaks plain arithmetic: the road ahead will bite, will bruise, will demand sacrifice, and may yet laugh in our faces. Yet in the mouth of hardship there is a joke, and the joke is this-we call it optimism, and we pretend it pays in substance.

This quarter’s disclosure, the first since Mr. Buffett relinquished the reins to Mr. Abel at the dawn of 2026, has left those of the crypto persuasion sorely disappointed. Not a whisper of leniency, not a hint of softening, has escaped the halls of Berkshire.

Over the last 24 hours, there’s been a significant increase in the amount of Shiba Inu (SHIB) tokens being transferred to cryptocurrency exchanges.

Kusama posted a link to his newest video, explaining that it summarizes everything they’ve talked about so far.

Meanwhile, LINK’s price, though lacking the dramatic flourishes of a Byronic hero, steadfastly holds its ground near a key demand zone, as if a determined suitor refusing to be deterred. The structure, once as wobbly as a debutante’s first curtsy, is stabilizing, and on-chain activity, like a lively country dance, shows a steady and healthy rhythm. Could it be that LINK, our unassuming protagonist, is poised for a breakout, a transformation from wallflower to belle of the ball?

Key Observations, Served with a Dash of Wit: