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In a recent chat with CoinDesk’s Jennifer Sanasie (on a perfectly ordinary Friday, January 26th), Chalom decided to skip the opinionated rambling and stick to what he calls “observable market signals.” Because, you know, facts are so much more entertaining than speculation. “Ethereum has been around for 10 years,” he pointed out, as if this were some sort of cosmic revelation. “It’s the secure, trusted, and liquid ecosystem.” Imagine that! A decade of not imploding-truly groundbreaking.

Now, Peter Schiff, who fancies himself quite the expert on shiny metals, has been yapping about the rise of precious metals and the stagnation of bitcoin for what feels like eons. The recent bull run in silver and gold has certainly added some fuel to his already roaring fire.

According to the ever-watchful Kobeissi Letter, between 9:00 AM ET and 1:00 PM ET, silver’s market cap swelled by a staggering $500 billion. A triumph, one might think, for the metal that has long played second fiddle to its golden cousin. But oh, the cruelty of fate! In the next three hours, it plummeted by $950 billion, only to rebound with another $500 billion by 10:30 PM ET. A rollercoaster, you say? Nay, it was a carnival of madness, a testament to the irrationality that lurks beneath the veneer of rational markets.

Peter Brandt says that after sliding out of a bearish downward-sloping channel to around $87,000, BTC bulls have a lot of work to do-like taking their vitamins and getting a better haircut.

“Computation”, says he, “is the sweetest treat you ever had! With tricks like parallel processing and zero-knowledge proofs, you can make any blockchain flap its wings and fly!” Meanwhile, the trusty archers of data-er, I mean erasure coding and PeerDAS-are ready to lighten the load, allowing even the puniest of nodes to peek at information sans the hefty downloads. It’s like making a sandwich without every single ingredient!

conviction without momentum, like a man who believes the hammer will fall but forgets to swing.

Bitwise has dipped its toes into decentralized finance, a realm where yield is plentiful and regulation is, well, optional. The digital asset manager, presumably tired of traditional finance’s meager returns, has teamed up with Morpho to offer vaults that are as non-custodial as they are non-sensical to anyone over 50.

In a recent ramble on the good ol’ platform X, those sharp-eyed analysts at Santiment took a gander at how certain cryptocurrencies, like our old pals XRP and Bitcoin, are faring in the grand scheme of the 30-day Market Value to Realized Value (MVRV) Ratio. Quite the mouthful, ain’t it?

History, that cruel and unforgiving judge, offers little solace. Bitcoin, the supposed hedge against the follies of men, has more often than not mirrored the chaos of its human creators during these shutdowns. Like a mirror reflecting the absurdity of existence, its price has followed the whims of the market, not the logic of its own supposed superiority.

In a spree of posts on the social megastructure X (the platform formerly known as Twitter), ZachXBT accuses John “Lick” Daghita of pilfering millions of dollars’ worth of seized digital assets from wallets tied to the US government. A tidy claim, almost as tidy as a towel folded with military precision.