jpyxx “December just got major for altcoin traders,” Coinbase tweeted, as if announcing the Second Coming of Satoshi. Two dates, December 5th and 12th, will surely change the course of human history. 🌟
Brian Quintenz, a former commissioner at the CFTC and current global head of policy at the crypto division of Silicon Valley venture firm Andreessen Horowitz, was well on his way to becoming Trump’s new CFTC Chair. But a clash with the Winklevoss twins over the regulator’s seven-year feud with crypto exchange Gemini, which is owned by the twins, took Quintenz out of the running. 🎭💥
Indeed, the inhabitants of these ethereal vaults-Bitcoin, Ethereum, and their like-have been spirited away from the well-known ledgers of our digitally-versed guardians to newer sanctuaries, all within their benevolent domain. This is not an exodus spurred by impending financial tempests, but simply a nod towards operational hygiene; one must never allow their digital gold to reside too long in a single visible casket 🏴☠️.
In the land of tea and scones, a massive criminal syndicate, spanning 28 UK towns and cities, was busy converting drug trafficking, arms sales, and organized crime profits into cryptocurrency. And guess where those profits were ultimately headed? You guessed it – Russia. Not for caviar or vodka, but to sidestep sanctions and, oh yes, fund a war effort. Who knew, right?
This sudden ardor follows the musings of New York Fed President John Williams, who, with a wave of his hand, assured us that a rate cut need not threaten the Fed’s inflationary vows. “Modestly restrictive,” he called the current policy, as if describing a mildly inconvenient rain on a picnic. 🌧️ Tariffs? Mere ripples in the pond of inflation, he says, with the confidence of a man who’s never paid retail. 🛍️
So, apparently, getting your hands on some Solana (SOL) might soon require taking out a second mortgage. A group of people who are very clever with computers – developers, they’re called – have put forth a proposal. It\’s a bit like deciding to eat fewer biscuits, but with potentially billions of dollars at stake. They want to drastically reduce how many new SOL tokens are ever made.
A modest $27,500 per month, tax-free, beginning in February. Enough to make a tsar blush, though Kiyosaki seems unfazed, his coffers already brimming with the spoils of real estate.
According to Bloomberg-yes, that same Bloomberg-the crypto world had its own version of a “Great Escape.” Investors snatched away nearly $1 billion from Bitcoin ETFs, marking the second-largest daily outflow ever. BlackRock’s IBIT took the lion’s share, with a swift $355 million pulled out, while Grayscale’s GBTC and Fidelity’s FBTC each saw nearly $200 million waltz out the door.
