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The farce was all the more piquant given that PYUSD is pegged to the U.S. dollar at a ratio of 1:1, and Paxos, that bastion of crypto respectability, was at the helm. To put this in perspective, the largest stablecoin, Tether USDT, boasts a market cap of a mere $180 billion, while PYUSD’s fully diluted valuation hovers around $2.32 billion. One wonders if Paxos was merely testing the limits of absurdity or if this was a sly commentary on the excesses of the financial world. 🤡📈

US spot demand on Coinbase keeps Bitcoin anchored above $110,000. A triumph of greed over reason. 🧠💸

Garlinghouse explained that Ripple is a venture-backed company with a fancy office and a CEO who probably has a really nice chair, while XRP is an open-source digital asset that’s as independent as a teenager who just discovered punk rock. 🎸 Ripple uses XRP in its products, but controlling it? Nah. That’s like saying you own the moon because you pointed at it once. 🌕

The early hype was a farcical opera. Rumors of Binance’s grand list danced like fireflies in the dark, igniting hope among holders. A community poll even hinted at majority approval, but time, that merciless clockmaker, turned promises to ash. Now, the hype is as thin as a bureaucrat’s patience.

Ah, the ever-important question! This delightful little drama reignites long-standing debates about transparency in centralized exchanges as if announcing the winner of the intergalactic lottery. How do various platforms juggle profit, exposure, and that elusive creature known as user protection? It’s like herding slippery eels through a maze of powdered cheese.

Ripple has taken another step in expanding its presence across Africa. The blockchain firm recently announced a partnership with Absa Bank, one of the continent’s biggest financial institutions. Yawn. As if banks weren’t already drowning in enough existential crypto FOMO. 🦩

This marks their first foray into crypto, a move that feels less revolutionary and more like a nervous tic. After all, who better to digitize money than the folks who’ve been counting it for centuries? Just don’t expect them to let go of the ledger anytime soon. 🧾

Ah, Bitcoin, that mercurial minuet of digits, pirouettes perilously near its $102,000 precipice-support levels crumbling like stale nougat. 🦋💸

Did you hear about US President Donald Trump’s move to open the $12T 401(k) retirement market to crypto? 🤯

If $SOL does its thing, projects like Snorter Token will be popping champagne (or, more likely, snorting it). 🍾🐽