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Bitcoin’s hovering around $103,668, just teasing that $106K resistance level. Will it break out? Who knows! Martinez says if it does, $115,000 is on the table. Okay, but last week, my aunt said the Knicks “might” win the title. Everybody’s got predictions. Everybody.

Mislav Matejka, the so-called oracle of global and European equity strategy at JPMorgan, points out that investors seem to be overly optimistic about US equities, even as recession risks soar and trade tensions hover like an uninvited guest at a dinner party. Reports from Investing.com confirm this rather uncomfortable fact.

Today, fueled either by pure civic-mindedness or perhaps just the aftereffects of a strong cup of tea, the SHIB burn rate has shot skyward like a butler who’s just spotted a spider, leaping a rather tidy 6,858.37% (one can only assume the decimal points were added for dramatic effect). The hapless victim count: a robust 18,902,967 SHIB, bravely sacrificed for the communal good.

This frenzied cash stampede reveals that both cool-headed institutions and hot-blooded retail investors are still falling head over e-wallet for Bitcoin. All of this, mind you, while the global economy stumbles around like someone who’s just heard about gluten. The hunger for crypto risk is apparently gluten-free, dairy-free, and still very much on the menu.

Upon the bartered scroll (that is, a chart), one beholds the trembling trajectory of BTC’s price, now soaring over $103K, like a roulette wheel in a Moscow ball. Yet, retail demand—those green and red bars—remains as still as Levin in contemplation. Eyebrows arch higher than Bitcoin itself; where is the old peasant crowd, shoveling in their savings? Have they traded their memes for Dostoyevsky novels?

Some scholarly city folk at Santiment, them analytics types always scribblin’ numbers like Mark Twain scribbles tales, say the crypto carnival’s got a whole mess o’ green candles this weekend. Meme coins, staking “thingamajigs,” and those Layer-1 doodads are pitching a tent revival, each trying to out-peacock the other with double-digit jigs in market capitalization. Why, the meme coin circus alone shot up 18%, putting PEPE right at the top like a frog prince with a crown made of dollar bills.🐸💰

If you blinked this week, you missed Bitcoin hurdling over $100,000 like it was auditioning for ‘Ninja Warrior.’ Meanwhile, other coins—DOGE, SOL, HYPE (great branding)—all decided now’s the time to moon. Ethereum jumped 31% just to show off, because ETH’s gonna ETH. 🕺

A certain camp called CryptoQuant had its nose to the wind, too. They’d been tracking a thing called the Bull Bear Market Cycle indicator—one of those on-chain gadgets that never smiles. Since February 24, 2024, it’d been muttering bear tales louder than a prospector at the saloon. Now, quietly, it began to whistle a new tune, eyes darting sideways, hinting that perhaps a bull could prowl these lands again. The signal might not knock your hat off yet—the strength of it about as firm as a handshake from a nervous banker—but the moving average started to tilt north instead of south, and that got the old-timers raising their eyebrows and their whiskey glasses. 🥃

There was a time, not so long ago, when Dogecoin lay in the dry dust, priced at 13 cents. Its faithful stared at their screens like farmers watching cracked earth, cursing the Trade War and praying for rain that wasn’t coming. And yet the world turned, the storms passed, and, like a stray mutt sniffing out a kitchen scrap, DOGE found its way into the daylight.

Let’s dive into the core of this thrilling spectacle and see what’s really at play here.