jpyxx

With $18 billion in staked assets, Figment now promises its clients-exchanges, custodians, and asset managers-the clarity of a Siberian winter morning. Frostbite not included. ❄️

Technical indicators, those sacred scrolls of the modern oracle, hint at compression and a slow thawing of sentiment. One might think the market is rehearsing for a seasonal rally, but let us not forget: even the most bullish scripts can end in farce. Is ADA truly staging a comeback, or merely preening for a fall? Only the fates know!

Ever since last Friday’s liquidation apocalypse, Binance has been dodging more shade than a vampire at a beach party. Whispers of underreported wipeouts and even wild tales of Uncle Sam pulling the plug? Yeah, the rumor mill is churning faster than a Bitcoin pump-and-dump. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, loves.

Behold the daily chart-a post-rally reversal, a spectacle of shattered hopes and misplaced optimism. Our hero, Bitcoin, soared to a grand $126K peak, only to tumble like a tipsy acrobat into the $111K abyss. The September uptrend? Shattered by a cascade of panic-selling, as graceful as a bull in a china shop. The market, which, like a scorned lover, offers no second chances.

On Oct. 16, the crypto market cap, once a towering giant, stumbled below the $3.9 trillion mark, settling at a mere $3.78 trillion. A 1% drop, you say? Small, perhaps, but enough to trigger a cascade of liquidations totaling $540 million in a single day. And in the past hour alone, $11.2 million has been sacrificed at the altar of volatility. Ethereum, ever the drama queen, leads the charge with $5.63 million in liquidations, while Bitcoin, the stoic patriarch, follows with nearly $1 million. Solana and its altcoin kin have also been gutted, their losses a grim reminder of the market’s merciless nature.

Now, the grand significance of HIP-3 lies not in its ability to simply decentralize market creation (although that’s jolly impressive), but in the delightful chaos it creates. Unlike Binance and its rather opaque listing processes that limit the asset universe to a few well-behaved coins, HIP-3 is tossing the doors wide open. If you fancy yourself a creator, you can now launch your very own full perpetual DEX on HyperCore, Hyperliquid’s custom-built layer-1 blockchain. Yes, it’s as sophisticated as it sounds, and it includes order books, oracles, leverage limits (up to 20x, if you fancy a bit of a gamble), and an array of collateral types-all built on a bed of HYPE tokens and Dutch auction participation. It’s like a crypto buffet, and everyone’s invited!

Apparently, the UK government is “considering” a compensation plan for the victims of this crypto fraud. Stephen Parkinson from the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) dropped this bombshell in court on Oct. 15, but he was light on the details. Shocking, I know. 🤷‍♂️

So, this Paris-based thing called Lise (Lightning Stock Exchange, fancy, right? 🥴) just got the green light to run Europe’s first fully tokenized equity exchange. Big deal, I guess? They’re targeting SMEs and midcap firms, because who doesn’t love a good underdog story? 🐕

The legal complaint, filed in the US District Court for the Northern District of Illinois, accuses Semler’s board of directors of transgressing the sacred edicts of Sections 14(a) and 20(a) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934. These laws, designed to shield shareholders from the pernicious sin of misleading information, now serve as the plaintiff’s sword. Tran argues that the Registration Statement-a document of supposed completeness-is riddled with omissions of the gravest nature, particularly concerning the financial fairness of the merger. 🧠💼

In this grand drama, AUSTRAC is granted the power to peer into the shadowy realm of crypto ATMs, those modern-day alchemists turning cash into digital ephemera. According to the august Minister Burke, these machines are not merely conduits for financial innovation but also for money laundering, scams, fraud, and the occasional dalliance with the illicit drug trade and child exploitation. 🕵️‍♂️🔍