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OP’s 1-hour chart looks like a rollercoaster designed by a toddler. It plummeted from $0.33-$0.34 into the $0.30 danger zone, leaving investors clutching their wallets like a toddler holding a melting ice cream cone 🍦😭. Heavy bearish candles? More like bear traps. Lower highs? Because who needs confidence? After this nosedive, the market tried to “converse” with volatility, whispering, “Let’s chat… but keep it short and boring.”

And just to add some sparkle to the occasion, silver has decided to break all records, surpassing $55/oz, setting off alarms about renewed interest in hard assets across the board. Because who doesn’t love a shiny metal, right? 🪙✨

Layer-2 networks aren’t just driving Ethereum’s activity-they’re doing the cha-cha slide past the base layer! These solutions are like the cool aunt of blockchain: cheaper fees, faster speeds, and no one cares if you’re late to dinner. Developers and users are scaling apps like they’re trying to break the internet’s record for “most things done before midnight.” Even if ETH’s price is still stuck in “meh” mode, the action’s all happening on L2. Classic move, Ethereum. Classic move.

Ah, the culprit? A “cooling issue”-a phrase as innocent as a lamb yet potent enough to topple the colossus of derivatives trading! 🚨💥 The CME, that mighty titan, was humbled by a humble pipe or fan or perhaps a vengeful squirrel in the CyrusOne data center. By Friday noon UTC, like a phoenix rising from a mildly inconvenient bonfire, trading resumed. Miracles do happen!

This shocking development has ruined what was a near-perfect run for the Solana ETF, surpassing both Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs’ debut records. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!

SHIB has modestly risen by 2.63% over the past 24 hours – a number that would make even the staunchest day trader do a double take before yawning. It’s the cryptocurrency equivalent of a mild morning stretch-nothing to get too excited about, but hey, it’s something!

But lo! The weekend arrived, and Bitcoin, like a weary thespian, ceased its dramatic descent. By Wednesday, it flirted with $88,000, only to be met with the icy stare of resistance. Yet, in true tragicomic fashion, it shattered through to $90,000 by week’s end. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it pirouettes at $92,000-a $10K rebound! The market cap swells to $1.85T, while altcoins sulk in its shadow, save for the usual suspects: XRP, BCH, XMR, and AVAX, playing their roles as the rebellious youths.

So, what does this mean in simpler terms? Nasdaq wants to move the iShares Bitcoin Trust into the same prestigious derivatives tier as the almighty Apple 🍏, the flashy Nvidia, and other top-tier assets like the S&P 500 and Nasdaq-100. It’s like getting invited to the cool kids’ table at lunch. 🍕

A country’s financial stress often shows up in its policy decisions long before it appears in headlines. Or, as Bolivia’s finance minister might say, “We’re not panicking-we’re just… re-evaluating our life choices.”

Ah, the ever-restless Animoca Brands, that protean entity of the digital realm, has decided to dabble in the prosaic world of stablecoins and tokenized real-world assets (RWAs). How quaint! 🧐 As if their dominion over the metaverse were not enough, they now seek to colonize the staid corridors of institutional finance. One can almost hear the whispers of their boardroom: “Let us tokenize the very air they breathe!”