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So, after a few months of keeping things hush-hush (because why wouldn’t you), Wayfinder has unleashed its Open Alpha, making AI-powered agents available to anyone who isn’t afraid of a little digital disruption. These agents are fueled by HyperliquidEVM (which sounds like something that should be in a sci-fi movie) for lightning-fast trades, smart contracts, and cross-chain wizardry.

Now boasting a mighty hoard of 18,991 Bitcoin, the company’s coffers glow bright at approximately $2 billion. The company’s past shrewdness-averaging an acquisition cost of about $102,712 per coin-has cunningly placed it as the seventh titans’ club member on the list of the largest publicly listed Bitcoin holders, with the illustrious Riot Platforms and the celebrity-backed Bullish trailing in their dust.

Ethereum [ETH], in a rare spectacle of wealth withdrawal, saw 200,000 ETH vanishing from exchanges in the blink of an eye. The great whale migration continues, as large holders scoop up the spoils for their own private reserves, apparently preferring to keep their treasures locked away rather than trading them for mere mortal coins.

At Coinfest Asia 2025, Pintu unveiled its grand vision for mass adoption, while industry bigwigs fretted about the overreliance on U.S. dollar-backed stablecoins. 🤑 Apparently, they’re worried the Indonesian rupiah might feel left out in the digital economy-like a forgotten towel in a Hitchhiker’s guide. Meanwhile, Coinpedia had an exclusive chat with Alex Chandra, the Public Policy & Government Relations Strategist, who knows more about tech regulation than Zaphod Beeblebrox knows about bad fashion choices. 🕶️

Down in the land of samba and soccer, the Central Bank of Brazil decided to play it safe, declaring Bitcoin unfit for reserve status. During a congressional hearing that felt more like a soap opera, government bigwigs debated Bill 4501/2024, which proposed letting the bank stash up to 5% of its foreign reserves in Bitcoin. Spoiler alert: the bank said, “No, obrigado.” 🥳🚫

With this latest splurge, Metaplanet now boasts a whopping 18,991 BTC in their crypto vault. At today’s prices, that treasure trove is worth a staggering $1.95 billion. Cue the cha-ching sound effects 💰. Their relentless hoarding of Bitcoin makes one wonder-are they preparing for a digital apocalypse or just really, really into shiny virtual coins?

Here, revealed not by the angels, but by CoinGecko’s feverish algorithms, are the tokens drawing eyes, wallets, and possibly the tears of the hopeful:

Ethereum is currently experiencing one of those strange moments where Wall Street and Main Street appear to be living in parallel universes – one where sophisticated investors are quietly exiting stage left, while crypto enthusiasts continue their digital dance party like nothing’s happened.

In times past, when enthusiasm gripped the market, these fees would rise in concert with the price, a frantic bidding for a place within the blocks. Now, however, the curve is as flat as a nobleman’s affectation, a clear indication that the very act of *using* the Bitcoin network is no longer fueling the climb. A most unsettling thought, wouldn’t you say? 🧐

This modern Prometheus, bound not to a rock but to a calendar, is commanded to return to his tormentors every fourteen days! As if a CEO could be held accountable for every whispered secret, every foolish scheme, every criminal thought that passes through the wires of his creation. What next? Shall we arrest the inventor of the door for the thief who walks through it? The logic is not merely flawed; it is a sickness, a profound failure of the modern mind! 🤦‍♂️