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The unfortunate casualties, comprising a motley crew of erstwhile DeFi darlings, would-be infrastructural titans, and those plucky community-driven tokens, include Badger DAO (BADGER), Balancer (BAL), Beta Finance (BETA), and not to forget Cream Finance (CREAM)—a project that was never quite the crème de la crème. Among others are Cortex (CTXC), aelf (ELF), Firo (FIRO), and Kava Lend (HARD), descending further into anonymity like so many forgotten stars of yore. The list continues with NULS, Prosper (PROS), Status (SNT), TROY, UniLend (UFT), and the exotic-sounding VIDT DAO (VIDT). If this was a funeral, they’d be serving lukewarm tea and stale scones. 🍵

Wait, there’s more. Fartcoin’s been hanging around like a cool kid in school—calm, collected, and steadily holding on even when the rest of the crypto market was flopping like a fish out of water. As the broader crypto market tried to bounce back, Fartcoin decided to just stay cool, hitting a resistance level at $0.7153 twice—once on February 11 and again on March 26. But… spoiler alert: it couldn’t break through. That didn’t stop it though. Nope, it’s still thriving!

So, get this—Binance, in all their infinite wisdom, confirmed they’re the first exchange to list the KERNEL token. Yep, they’re giving their community an exclusive early peek at this restaking extravaganza. It’s like having a backstage pass to a show you never really asked to see! 😂

Recently, Pi News, a channel on X boasting a million followers, has engaged in a handshake with Pi CrowdFund, a Web3 platform that claims to be built on the Pi Network public chain. One can only imagine the enthusiasm in the room as they proclaimed their noble mission: “to provide timely and accurate updates on Web3 projects within the Pi ecosystem.” Because, of course, what the world needs now is more timely updates! 🎉

Legend has it that this rumored QE could echo those dashing episodes of 2008 and 2020, when money was printed with the same gusto one might reserve for storing cheese in a fridge about to explode. Naturally, crypto enthusiasts foresee meteoric rises (or possibly a conga line of dancing digits) if our dear Fed chooses to sprinkle its magic liquidity dust again.

Yesterday, the 50-day Simple Moving Average of Bitcoin decided to get cheeky and fell below its 200-day counterpart, creating what we now must call the ‘Death Cross’—as if Bitcoin’s social life couldn’t get any drearier. This catastrophic cross is about as bearish as a grizzly in a suit. 🐻

But, as sure as the Mississippi runs deep and wide, those bright folks at the crypto exchange hailing from the bustling shores of Seychelles—Bitget—have decided to weave a grand bridge between DEX and CEX. They named this shiny innovation “Bitget Onchain,” which sounds fancier than a silver-plated pocket watch and promises to get DEX folks and CEX folks to hold hands and sing together. 🎶

In a recent YouTube video on the Raoul Pal The Journey Man channel, macro economist Pal and his colleague Julien Bittel painted a somewhat optimistic picture. They suggested that financial conditions might ease as we move into 2025, with lagging indicators hinting at a potential recovery for U.S. equities and crypto in the coming weeks. Of course, their crystal ball could be as accurate as a weather forecast in April—take it with a grain of salt. 🌧️

This economic chart is as old as your great-grandpappy’s favorite pair of suspenders—over 150 years, mind ye! Several dreamers contend it has spotted financial calamities like a hawk eyeing a hapless rabbit since the mid-1920s. Yet, as the wheel of fortune spins madly onward, recent calamities give that claim a bit of a ticklish challenge.

With the grace of a cat on a hot tin roof, the SFC’s guidance aims to expand the product offerings for these platforms, all while ensuring that investors are not left clutching their pearls in horror. The guidance outlines a veritable treasure map of necessary measures for VATPs to prevent errors—because who doesn’t love a good error in the world of finance?—safeguard staked assets, and disclose the associated risks, which are as numerous as the stars in the sky. 🌌