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In a delightful little post on X, the analytics wizards at Glassnode have unveiled the latest trend in the Realized Profit of our beloved Bitcoin aficionados. “Realized Profit,” as the name suggests, is the measure of how much profit these investors are actually pocketing when they decide to sell. Quite the novel idea, wouldn’t you say?

Submitted to the Verkhovna Rada on Tuesday, bill number 13356 is all about making amendments to the law “On the National Bank of Ukraine.” It’s like a makeover, but for money! 💄

Now, Strategy has a whopping 582,000 BTC, worth over $63.8 billion. That’s a lot of dough! It’s like they’re the Bitcoin bank of the world, with over half of their $109 billion market cap tied up in this digital gold. Who knew Bitcoin could be so… valuable? 💰

Meanwhile, the cheeky little altcoins have been dancing around like sugar-fueled children, posting jaw-dropping gains in the last 24-48 hours! Uniswap, that sprightly fellow, has surged a whopping 16%, while SPX decided to join the party with a delightful 15% bounce! 🎉

Gone are the days of wrestling with convoluted blockchain bridges and the labyrinthine external infrastructures that seem to delight in complicating our lives while racking up fees. With this integration, users can now swap assets with the ease of a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat. 🐇🎩

It appears that the traders, those ever-watchful hawks of the crypto skies, managed to unearth the former kickboxer’s Hyperliquid address after he boasted about his 138.5% gain on Hyperliquid (HYPE) and, in a moment of sheer bravado, shared his referral code on a recent post on X. Alas, the post has since vanished into the ether, but the damage was done! The crypto sleuths, with their uncanny ability to track down the elusive, found his address in record time, only to discover that he was, in fact, $600,000 in the red. Oh, the sweet taste of poetic justice! 🍷

During the exclusive Apex 2025 event—where the only thing more inflated than the egos were the expectations—Schwartz revealed that this shiny new sidechain is not just a figment of our collective imagination. Various DeFi platforms, including the likes of Strobe Finance, Vertex Protocol, Secured Labs, and Squid Router (yes, you read that right, Squid Router—sounds like a rejected character from a superhero movie), are already building their apps on this soon-to-be-launched sidechain.

This delightful momentum coincides with Chainlink’s illustrious participation in Hong Kong’s e-HKD+ Pilot Program, wherein its interoperability protocol has facilitated a most charming cross-border exchange between CBDCs and stablecoins. How quaint! 💰

Since her grand entrance into the FCA in June 2021, Pritchard has been the captain of the ship steering the supervision, policy, and competition division. She has been instrumental in overseeing consumer and competition matters, like a vigilant hawk watching over its nest. Chief Executive Nikhil Rathi, in a moment of uncharacteristic enthusiasm, praised her contributions to significant reforms, including the overhaul of listing rules and advancements in financial advice. Who knew financial advice could be so exciting? 🎉

Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong on X.