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On Sunday, CoinDesk discussed the possibility of pronounced downside volatility in risk assets due to a potential unwinding of the Treasury market arbitrage bets, a dynamic that catalyzed the 2020 crash. Because, you know, history loves to repeat itself when you least expect it.

Now, don’t get too excited! While the Bitcoin treasure chest is still worth more than it cost—around $40.61 billion—there’s a little hiccup. The market’s taken a nosedive, and suddenly, the firm’s financial flexibility looks about as stable as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest! 🤪 Bitcoin’s value is currently about 12% below what they paid. Ouch!

Picture this: They’re selling their Ethereum faster than Mar-a-Lago’s kitchen staff during a health inspection. The project just dumped 5,471 ETH at a price that would make even a garage sale look profitable. It’s like watching someone try to return a wedding dress after the divorce – desperately taking whatever they can get. 👰‍♂️💔

So, Don’t let excitement fool you—regulation is lurking, just waiting to bring all that innovation crashing down like a poorly timed punchline. 🎤

The grand titan of public Bitcoin holdings decided not to seize the moment between March 31 and April 6, even as the price of BTC dipped below $80,000, then soared to $87,000 midweek, only to slump again. Some might call this prudence; others might consider it an odd tea-time break during a most dramatic war scene. 🤔

With fresh catalysts like Trump’s crypto strategic reserve and the tantalizing prospect of altcoin ETFs under SEC review, the question arises: Is $100 a realistic target for Dogecoin, or are we merely chasing a mirage in the desert of financial folly? 🌵

Severino, armed with the arcane knowledge of Elliott Wave theory, paints a picture of Bitcoin’s price trajectory as a tragic epic. The cryptocurrency’s journey, he claims, is far from over. The recent decline to $74,000 is but the opening act of a broader ABC corrective pattern, destined to drag Bitcoin down to its final nadir. 📜💔

Amid the “Is this depressing enough for you?” market sentiment, our humble XLM price prediction has become the talk of the town—right between gossip about Karen’s cats and the fact that nobody invited Dave to happy hour. Apparently, expert technical analysis claims our little token is playing a game of “how low can you go?” within a falling wedge pattern. Not the most exciting game night ever, huh? 😅

Should this spectral cross manifest within days, the bearish tide might swell, further eroding investor fortitude. With XLM having already breached its100-day and200-day moving averages—once bastions of support—the asset teeters on the precipice. Moving averages and resistance levels now tower above, a daunting wall for any aspiring ascent.

But hold your horses! There’s a glimmer of hope as Bitcoin’s long positions have risen to a robust 54%. Tomorrow promises to be a day of reckoning; it might just bring chaos to the traditional finance folks, but our dear crypto might just weather this storm like a seasoned sailor in a squall. 🌪️