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Now, we know what you’re thinking: what’s the plan, old chap? Well, TOP’s CEO, Andrew Rogozov, has revealed that the company is gearing up to take its services on a merry jaunt into new territories, with a particular focus on those regulatory-heavy markets like the U.S. and Europe. Ah, the thrill of navigating red tape! 🎢 And, of course, a sizeable chunk of the new capital will be devoted to building out the necessary legal and operational infrastructure. How terribly exciting! 🤯

And what, pray tell, does history have in store for us this time? If it decides to repeat itself (as it so often does, with the same tiresome predictability), Bitcoin might just tumble over 60%, perhaps plunging below $40,000. A delightful thought for those hoping to pick up the crumbs of a broken dream.

Here’s how it works: the dEURO model is all about overcollateralization, which is just a fancy way of saying “give us extra stuff, in case your stuff tanks.” You have to lock in more crypto than you actually borrow—which is a little bit like pawning your grandma’s silver set just to borrow her teacup. If the value of your crypto drops faster than your motivation after a New Year’s resolution, automatic liquidation kicks in. Robots do it. So, less “Wall Street panic” and more “Terminator with a calculator.”

ETH fails to reclaim $2,600 as futures and options data show weak conviction from traders.

So, the altcoin market is just chillin’ while Bitcoin and Ethereum try to rally to new highs. I mean, who needs altcoins when you’ve got the big boys, right? 🙄

The surge coincides with renewed optimism in risk assets following bitcoin’s recovery above $110,000, which has triggered widespread gains across established cryptocurrencies.

The entire crypto market, it seemed, was waiting with bated breath for the tiniest spark to set it ablaze 🔥. And then, like a bolt of lightning on a stormy night, the news of the US trade deal with Vietnam and the rise in the M2 money supply struck, sending the market into a frenzy 🌪️.

Picture it: SHIB dawdled along at $0.00001015 (scarcely enough to buy a decent scone) and, by July 3, was showing off at nearly $0.00001744. That’s a comeback worthy of Jeeves himself—72% up in less than ten days. The price has now vaulted over the 26-day EMA (that’s Exponential Moving Average—think of it as your butler smoothing the way), touching $0.00001721 for the first time since May. This breakout from the ascending trendline, conjured up from late June lows, is the sort of plot twist that would make Aunt Agatha raise an eyebrow.

Oh, tragic comedy! Picture it: a stablecoin so “stable” its stability was trounced by the oldest villain in the theatre—an exploit most cunning. According to the tale spun on the 28th day of June (take a bow, auditors!), a scoundrel discovered a loophole in the platform’s calculations, and with a flourish more elegant than Argante’s accounting, danced away with the loot. Encore!

In succession—like old Aleksei’s debts at the tavern—three mysterious bundles, wrapped in zeros, wobbling between “anonymous” wallets, while onlookers gasped and refreshed their screens anxiously. Not one soul could say for certain who carried out these feats: 320,000,000 XRP shuffling off in one direction, 160,000,000 in another, and yet another 160,000,000 going off for a brisk walk around the digital block. In rubles—well, in dollars, as is the style nowadays—the sum amounted to $1.4 billion. Enough to keep a village accountant in insomnia till next Lent.