jpyxx 
The so-called rally was ignited by none other than President Trump, who dropped the bombshell of a 90-day tariff truce. Social media went wild, painting fantasies of a never-ending bull run in both stocks and crypto. Yet, analysts at Goldman Sachs, the cautious sages of Wall Street, warn that those thrilling multiweek, double-digit equity rallies are hardly a rarity in the shadowy realm of bear markets.
Imagine, if you will, treating a rare Pokémon card the same way you would a corporate bond. Absurd, right? That’s exactly what OpenSea fears could happen if NFTs are shackled by the heavy hand of traditional financial regulation. They warn that doing so would be like asking a painter to follow the strict, stifling rules of accounting while creating their masterpiece. Innovation, creativity, and the boundless freedom of Web3 would be left gasping for air in such a confined box. But OpenSea, ever the champion of the digital realm, doesn’t want to put the brakes on progress. No, they wish for *clear, distinct* rules—crafted carefully, like a delicate piece of art—so that this flourishing sector can grow without the threat of its potential being smothered. A world where technology thrives, but without choking on red tape. How terribly reasonable… or is it? 🧐💭
What’s going on? Well, it seems traders and investors are either losing interest, confidence, or both. Falling prices tend to do that. It’s like watching your favorite rollercoaster break down mid-ride—suddenly, everyone’s too scared to get back on. And so begins the vicious cycle: less trading, lower prices, and even less trading. Rinse and repeat. 🔄
It had been four long months since Musk last invoked the spirit of Kekius Maximus, and his return was met with the kind of fervor usually reserved for a rockstar’s encore. The tweet, posted on a seemingly uneventful Wednesday night, coincided with a notable surge in the price of the PEPE meme coin. Coincidence? Perhaps. Or perhaps Musk has once again proven his uncanny ability to move markets with a single keystroke. 🎯
The whole market, that grand bazaar of digital trinkets, did feel the lift, swelling by seven percent to reach a total value of two trillion and six hundred billion! Bitcoin and Ethereum, those elder statesmen of the crypto-realm, did also post gains, thus setting off a ripple effect that did aid Litecoin in its audacious surge. Such fortune!
While the Official Trump (TRUMP) memecoin is lounging in its billion-dollar market cap, MELANIA is scraping the bottom of the crypto barrel with an FDV of about $515 million and a trading volume that’s more “meh” than “wow.” 💸
In a recent CNBC interview, the founder of Bridgewater Associates casually dropped a bombshell, saying he’s “very concerned” about the looming macroeconomic catastrophe that might just hit, and hit hard. Well, of course! When the country’s already juggling a mountain of issues, why not throw in some tariffs for good measure? 🤷♂️
So, what’s on the table? A military tax of 5% and an 18% rate on profits from virtual assets. That’s right, folks! While dodging missiles, you can also dodge your taxes—oh wait, no you can’t! The funds from this delightful little tax scheme are earmarked to support Ukraine during its ongoing Russian invasion. Talk about multitasking! 💪
And as if that weren’t enough to make your eyebrows raise, its trading volume has shot up by 90.30%. It’s like a rollercoaster ride that only goes up and makes you question your life choices. For the last two days, FartCoin has been basking in the warm glow of the top gainer list on CoinMarketCap. Can you even?
Weight: 165 lbs (v.g.)
Crypto Portfolio: 6 million USD (outstanding)
Calories: 2200
Votes in favor: 52 (decent)
Times delayed due to being married to billionaire: 3 (could be worse)