jpyxx What’s this? Bitdeer has decided it loves itself more than the other miners! Yes, darling investors, as reported by Bloomberg on April 15, they’re now prioritizing mining Bitcoin (BTC) themselves, no longer playing the role of a mere hardware provider. Quite the plot twist, wouldn’t you agree?
Ethena Labs, in a move that could be described as either pragmatic or a tad melodramatic, reached an agreement with BaFin, Germany’s financial watchdog. The result? Ethena GmbH, their local subsidiary, is to cease all operations. One can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from the BaFin bureaucrats, no doubt eager to return to the less turbulent waters of regulating, say, the precise curvature of a sausage. 🌭
In a rather mind-boggling twist of events, a staggering 1.31 trillion SHIB tokens changed hands, translating to around $15,589,000 in good, old-fashioned cash! Over the past week, large transactions have collectively totaled 1.54 trillion SHIB as investors throw caution to the wind and dance around this meme coin like it’s 1999.
At current prices, these tokens are worth $21.84 million, which is roughly the cost of Elon Musk’s next tweet. Whale accumulation is often seen as a bullish sign because, let’s face it, whales are smarter than your average retail trader. They’ve got the brains, the bucks, and the blubber to make things happen. 🐋
It appears the mere hint of leniency, arriving as it did late upon a Friday (presumably after a satisfying dinner), has soothed the nerves of investors, who had consoled themselves with fears of exorbitant prices and diminished prospects. The market, ever attentive to tidings of such import, responded with a veritable flurry of optimism, as if Mr. Bitcoin himself had ordered champagne.
But wait, there’s more! As the collective jaw of the blockchain world hits the floor, Mantra DAO (the shadowy puppet masters, if one fancies a bit of drama) casually slides $26.95 million in OM tokens to a Binance wallet. This happened right after the price crash. The sheer lack of subtlety is almost inspiring. 🚶♂️💸
Over the past week, Cardano has bounced back by about 10%, giving traders who had been weeping into their coffee mugs some much-needed hope. ☕ CoinMarketCap data shows ADA was trading around $0.637 as of press time. Reports also show that ADA is flirting with its 20-day Exponential Moving Average (EMA). This line, which tracks the coin’s price over the past 20 days, is like a stern schoolteacher—always paying more attention to the most recent antics. A move above this level often signals a shift in market direction, and boy, are traders watching closely!
Some whisper that this calamity is the result of the recent chainlink integration, a mere 24 hours old. Others, more cynical, suggest that the market is simply tired of the Pi Network’s antics. Whatever the cause, investors are once again wringing their hands, wondering if this altcoin will ever amount to anything. The internet, that great echo chamber of despair, is awash with questions: “Will Pi coin ever be worth anything?”
I’d love to tell you that Zksync—a layer two scaling protocol for Ethereum, presumably designed by engineers who lose sleep over fractional gas fees—spent their Tuesday sipping green tea and meditating. Alas. Instead, they burst onto X with an urgent post: someone swiped the keys to the admin castle and walked off with the sort of money most of us couldn’t launder if we tried. All this, mere weeks after the MANTRA melodrama. Crypto: come for the decentralization, stay for the trust issues.
Now, these Kaiko folks reckon that XRP and SOL are standin’ out like a sore
thumb as the most probable candidates to get hitched to such a product.
🧐
