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On the 16th day of April, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) has kindly informed us of its upcoming crypto custody roundtable, which shall be held on the 25th of April. This event is part of their ambitious quest to regulate the thrilling realm of digital assets. One might say it’s their grand attempt at ensuring the Wild West of crypto is brought to some semblance of order—well, as much order as anyone could ever expect in this world.

So, what did the experts say? Well, only a paltry 7% of them dared to dream that SHIB might one day flip DOGE, with the most optimistic predicting this could happen as soon as 2026. The remaining 14% were left scratching their heads, unsure of SHIB’s fate. It seems the overwhelming consensus is that Shiba Inu’s chances of dethroning Dogecoin are about as likely as finding a unicorn in your backyard. 🦄

Once, in the halcyon days not so long ago, Cryptoquant noted a torrent of bitcoin—bold and brash, 800,000 BTC daily—cascading from the hoards of large holders. Now, that torrent dwindles to a mere trickle of 300,000 BTC, a retreat not from confidence but surrender. The great whales, facing the cruel sting of prices dipping beneath the fabled $80,000 mark, have been nursing their wounds, shrinking their treasure troves by some 30,000 BTC just this past week. One might almost imagine them muttering, “Better safe than sunk.”

Get this: SHIB’s daily burn rate jumps 111.43%. That’s right, it more than doubled. Weekly burn is up almost 20%. So, the deflation machine is wheezing back to life like it had a triple espresso. ☕

The cyber marauders didn’t hold back—using Powell’s verified account, they posted enthusiastically about $HCC, proclaiming it to be “a people-powered digital currency putting people’s power to the blockchain.” A noble cause, if not entirely fictitious. Truly, what is government without a bit of blockchain fantasy? 💸

These issuers, those magnificent whales of liquidity, snap up every token retail investors discard like yesterday’s scandalous gossip. A noble ballet, indeed—yet this newfound calm rests precariously on the backs of these economic leviathans, themselves entangled in a drama bigger than any Dickensian plot: the merciless macroeconomic tempest.

According to the latest blockchain gossip (aka data), long-term Ethereum holders are suddenly dropping their positions, like they’ve seen a scary ghost. We’re talking about selling when ETH is hanging out around the $1,550 to $1,700 range. This has traders and analysts scratching their heads, unsure if Ethereum is about to moon or if it’s just a sad, slow descent into the crypto abyss. 😬

For approximately three years, from 2022 onwards, ADA’s trading remained within a specific bandwidth. But in December 2024, ADA made a significant move beyond this range for the first time, reaching a new peak. However, this breakout seemed incomplete as it lacked the substantial volume needed to support it. An immediate drop in trading activity following the breakout hints at decreasing energy, indicating a potential climax rather than a continuous bullish run.

Peter Brandt, that sage of the trading world, scoffs at the mere suggestion of trendlines. “Least significant,” he declares with the gravitas of a seasoned gambler. A trendline violation, he insists, means nothing. Absolutely nothing! Such certainty! It’s almost… comforting in its futility. 😌

This, dear reader, is the tantalizing promise of RWA tokenization. Projects embroider reality’s fabric and reweave it into shiny tokens living on blockchains named Ethereum, Polygon, or Base, because “charming” and “mundane” simply won’t do anymore. Take PAX Gold (PAXG): a token as faithful as a butler, each representing one troy ounce of physical gold secured somewhere deep and dark—likely with better protection than your secrets. ✨