Is the TOWNS Token Launch the Crypto Event of 2025? Let’s Be Real!

The big airdrop? It’s slated for Q2 2025 (before June, so don’t get too comfy). There’s going to be a total supply of 10 billion TOWNS tokens. Oh, and 57% is supposedly for the community. The other 35%? Well, that’s going to the team and investors (lucky them). And the last 8% is for those heroic initial node operators and delegators. So… there’s your breakdown. Now, here’s the kicker—10% (that’s 1 billion) is supposed to be reserved for the airdrop, but guess what? They haven’t even finalized the listing date, eligibility, or the price yet. Sounds like a typical crypto situation, right? Nothing ever really gets sorted until the last minute.

Crypto Chaos! 90% Crash?! 😱

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On April 16, Base, in a moment of sheer inspiration, shared a promotional image with the scintillating phrase “Base is for everyone” on X, accompanied by a link to a token of the same name. This token was launched on Zora, a platform where one can turn content into tokens, because, why not? Just over an hour later, the token’s market value peaked at a staggering $17.1 million. But alas, within a mere 20 minutes, the value plummeted by nearly 90 percent. At one point, it resembled more of a financial abyss at around $623,000. The horror! 💸

Crypto Triumvirate Eyes a Comeback? 🤑

Market analyses, those dubious tea-leaf readings of the modern age, suggest that these altcoins are forming “favorable patterns” and engendering “growing investor sentiment.” Despite the general air of gloom pervading Bitcoin and its ilk, this crypto-trio is apparently gaining traction. One hopes they have the stamina for the long haul.

Bitcoin Sell-Off: The Real Culprits Behind the Panic

According to the ever-astute @Crazzyblockk, a sage of the Cryptoquant realm, the sell-off is not the doing of whales or seasoned veterans clinging to their Bitcoin hoards. Oh no! It’s actually the much smaller fish—those who possess less than 1 BTC—who are driving the market into a frenzy. These “shrimp” and “sharks,” as they are affectionately known in the cryptosphere, are the true panic sellers. How quaint! Such frantic behavior is a hallmark of the “shakeout,” a phenomenon where the nervous weaklings flee, selling before the market rebounds. How charmingly gullible. 🦑🐋

Russia Eyes Its Own Stablecoin After USDT’s Sudden Exit! 💸

Now, everyone knows that dollar-pegged stablecoins are all the rage, especially when it comes to moving funds between crypto and cash, and oh, how convenient it is for international transactions, especially when pesky Western sanctions are throwing tantrums and complicating payments for Russian firms. But fear not! Osman Kabaloev, the deputy head of the Ministry’s financial policy department (such a prestigious title, I’m sure he has a monocle), is here to tell us that Russia must create its very own tools—tools similar to USDT, of course. Nothing but the best! 🎩

Why AI Is Hogging Almost 60% of Venture Capital—Aliens Approve

Rocketing venture capital numbers

“Investors are afflicted with a particularly virulent form of AI FOMO—fear of missing out—often mistaken for sudden-onset techno-enthusiasm,” the report deadpanned on April 17. Just last year around this time, AI only charmed 28% of the VC cash; clearly, someone turned up the hype dial to 11.