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According to El Mundo, borrowing stats from the Central Reserve Bank like a nosy neighbor, out of 181 officially sanctioned Bitcoin businesses, a staggering 161 have ghosted the scene. That’s approximately 89%, or as I like to say, 161 firms playing a very impressive game of hide-and-seek. Only 20 remain, including the government’s pet project, Chivo Wallet, which sounds more like a new tequila brand than a cryptocurrency platform.

So, according to TokenTerminal – whoever they are – Tether’s raked in $1.46 billion this year. And they’re expecting it to hit $1.5 billion soon. Big deal. I bet they have no good coffee machine. ☕

Ethereum, that grand old dame of the blockchain ball, has been waltzing with the concept of modular rollups for years. More activity now pirouettes on layer-2 networks, causing some gossips to whisper that they are, perhaps, a tad… parasitic in relation to the venerable layer-1. Imagine, a blockchain family drama! 🎭

First stop: US stocks. Brandt, who has amassed an audience bigger than some small countries (792,500 followers on X, formerly known as Twitter, for the uninitiated), is calling the S&P 500 bearish after it threw a tantrum below the 5,800 mark and then, like a rejected suitor, couldn’t get back up past that level.

Here are some of the juiciest tidbits from the crypto scene this week, reported by CoinGape Media. Buckle up, folks!

Until now, Schwab offered mere glimpses of crypto through the foggy glass of ETFs, closed-end funds, and futures contracts—financial apparatuses that resemble ice skates on a molten lake. But no more! Mr. Wurster’s confident trumpet proclaims that they stand “on a great path” to launch direct spot trading within the coming solar cycle, just as regulators painstakingly draft the shape-shifting rulebooks of this brave new world. Apparently, this is less a leap of faith and more a strategic gambit to capture the gaze of investors both retail-wielding mortals and the demigods of institutions alike.

Enter Ivan Soto-Wright, MoonPay’s CEO and crypto’s version of your slightly neurotic but well-meaning uncle, waving his arms and pleading for the little guy—the state-regulated stablecoin issuers—to get a fair shot. Because, apparently, the feds want all the snacks.

Dr. Altcoin, an expert of no small repute in the cryptographic arts, has described the forthcoming Consensus 2025 as nothing short of a watershed moment for Pi Network. In a rather self-assured post on X, he emphasized that this event would offer an unparalleled array of promotional perks for Pi Network. The good doctor urged the PCT to seize the moment with all the fervour of a determined suitor.

Crypto oracle Ali Martinez (bless his Twitter feed) points out that Bitcoin’s hitting a wall at $91,275. After looking down the barrel at a $75K slump in early April and pulling off a 17.33% mic drop, our dear BTC is now basically pacing nervously, neither retreating nor advancing. The market’s version of indecisive Tinder swiping.

Word on the street is Bitcoin might be gearing up for another big bull run. Why? Because Schwab, Mr. $10 trillion AUM, is getting ready to launch direct spot crypto trading. Like jumping into a pool, but the water is… digital.