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On the digital altar of X, Schwartz unveiled his parable: “If a CBDC blooms like a wildflower in the cracks of financial tyranny, it is good. But if it withers under the boot of control, it is a curse.” He spoke of the unbanked, the exiled from the halls of finance, who might find solace in a government-run “bank” forced to defend its edicts in the courts of men. Yet, he did not spare his barbs, for he knows well the thorns that accompany such roses. 🌹⚖️

Enter Luca, the crypto soothsayer, who declared that despite prices trending downward, funding rates have taken a nosedive-essentially telling longs to pack their bags. Yet, curiously, Open Interest has ballooned, implying the bears are having the last laugh and trying to push the market off the cliff first. It’s like trying to herd cats while juggling flaming torches-everyone’s unsure what’s real, and nobody knows who’s really winning. The moral? Don’t trust appearances; sometimes the short sellers are just having a good cry into their keyboards.

“$XRP has real utility, the strongest use case in crypto.”

With such noble intentions in mind, we present to you the eight finest crypto wallets of November 2025. For what could be more delightful than a secure repository for one’s digital assets, provided one does not suffer from memory as fickle as a spring breeze?

Among the top performers, Monero (XMR) and Zcash (ZEC) continue to dominate the sector like a pair of wizards casting spells in a cryptocurrency wizard school. Their market caps? Over $6.2 billion and $5.6 billion respectively-because nothing says “I’m secret” like a huge number. 🧙‍♂️

In a cheeky little post on X (you know, that place where people pretend to be Hollywood stars), Adez pointed out that Bitcoin sashayed from about $111,000 to $115,500-everyone’s jumping for joy, thinking the moon’s imminent. Turns out, it’s more like a magician’s trick! 🎩✨

Bitcoin, that stalwart of the crypto realm, is joined by Ethereum and XRP, as if the metals themselves have donned digital armor. A stablecoin symphony plays on, with Tether and USDC waltzing alongside the rest. A modern marvel, indeed 🧾.

The Federal Reserve, with the precision of a surgeon, plans to trim rates by 25 basis points on the 29th of October, a step it had earlier deemed necessary. Yet, this act, like a candle in a storm, will not sway the markets. With the government’s shutdown locking away the data, the Fed is left in a void, its eyes blind to the true state of inflation and labor, as if navigating a ship without a compass. 🚢

Markets Turn Red Before the Fed’s Rate Decision

Gather your coffee, for the markets are anything but tranquil this week-more chaotic than a parrot in a hurricane. Between shifting whale positions, record Bitcoin sell-offs, and a high-stakes Fed decision, traders are bracing for fireworks as bulls and bears fight for control of the next big crypto move. 🐋💥