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🌌 The SEC, now demoted from “gatekeeper” to “bystander,” probably didn’t see that coming. Meanwhile, Solana enthusiasts are sharpening their pitchforks, ready to trade blockchain for brokerage accounts. Because nothing says “financial wisdom” like letting your average Joe trade crypto via platforms that still think Bitcoin is a new kind of pizza topping. 💸

If this deal goes through-well, it might just give a slap of celebrity sparkle to Republic users, allowing them to buy and sell with the Official Trump (TRUMP) memecoin. A shiny new toy for the crypto kids, and a promising way for startups to beg for coins, or perhaps just gossip about their next million-dollar idea. Bloomberg reported this without a hint of sarcasm-imagine that. 📈

This brainchild, conjured into existence by Kai Zhao-who’s all of 20 years young-has taken it upon itself to transform any dull, dreary question into a personalized show-and-tell session, complete with animations by the dozen. The platform’s already catering to a dollop of 20,000 eager learners scattered across the globe, which, frankly, is no small feat when you consider that some of those students are probably still trying to figure out how to turn on their computers.

So, the ETFs are, once again, draining away. A total of $81.44 million departed on the 29th, according to Sosovalue. After those two brief, heartwarming days of inflows totaling $379.93 million, of course. Investor sentiment, it seems, is a fickle beast. One wonders what they were expecting.

Oh, the audacity! In an X post – a relic of a bygone age of fleeting thoughts – Saylor confessed to accumulating 17,732 BTC at a pitiable $9,882 per coin. Back then, the very notion of a cryptocurrency challenging the established order was met with polite scorn, with knowing shakes of the head from the gentlemen of finance. A paltry $175 million, they sniffed. A fool’s wager. Now? (And one can almost hear the grinding of teeth in the halls of central banks) That same stash, that act of defiance, is worth – try to contain your shock – nearly $1.95 billion. A gain, they say, of over 1,000%. Such arithmetic is… unsettling. 🧐

It couldn’t even manage to flirt with $205. Pathetic, really. Honestly, beating Bitcoin and Ethereum on the way down is… an achievement? I’m questioning everything. It dipped below $200. Then $198. Officially in a “mood.”

“Stablecoins are the devil, they’ll destroy bank lendin’!” they holler. 🙄 But Coinbase’s policy czar, Faryar Shirzad, ain’t havin’ it. “Nonsense!” he declares, “Most stablecoin demand’s comin’ from folks overseas, not your local farmer lookin’ to stash his piggy bank savings.” 🏦🚫

Woe betide those who underestimate the power of these oceanic creatures; Ethereum’s whales must be akin to Tolstoyan characters, rarely making mere ripples in their wake. Just as whispers of war could shake the spirits along the great corridors of Russian history, so did Bitmine’s acquisition spark fervent whispers among market watchmen. Indeed, transactions of over $1 million enjoyed a sharp incline on the lands of digital metrics sharing, revealing speculations reminiscent of vast bazaars from an era unknown.

21Shares, with trembling fingers and a heart full of ambition, has flung its Form S-1 across the desk of the SEC, demanding immediate action. This proposed Hyperliquid ETF, if blessed by the bureaucratic gods, shall grant investors regulated access to a realm where HYPE tokens dance to the tune of chaos. A masterstroke? A gamble? Only time will whisper the answer. 🎲

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