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“FTX bankrupt? Never!” doth this Bankman-Fried declare, as writ upon a digital scroll displayed for all to see. He propounds a grand defense, echoing pronouncements made in recent parleys with the folks at @amuse, where he sang a similar tune. He protesteth that the coffers of FTX were, even at the darkest hour, heavier with assets than burdened by debts – and that every customer stood to be made whole by late November of that calamitous year, 2022.
Under the “Special Regime for Asset Update and Regularization” (because nothing says “I’m serious” like a 12-word acronym), you can now declare your crypto holdings by paying 15% tax and 15% fine. Because nothing says “we trust you” like a 30% slap on your digital assets. 🧢
As of Saturday, Nov. 1, Pi Coin (PI) stood at a modest $0.25. Alas, the rally did lose a bit of its steam, but fear not! The experts, armed with their trusty charts, assure us that the price still has room to grow this November, even with the unlocking of a colossal 125 million tokens. Oh, how thrilling! 😏
If a total newbie to crypto can’t sum up your project after marinating in your chatter for a week, you didn’t market it-you just threw it a pity party. Web3’s been ditching crystal-clear products for personality parades forever, pouring cash into glittery tours, vibe-fests, and social catfights. Meanwhile, the good stuff-like docs, onboarding, education, and actual usefulness? Languishing in the corner like forgotten leftovers. 😂
Ali Martinez, the crypto soothsayer, says that $0.18 support level is just about the last lifeline. If DOGE manages to hold it, maybe, just maybe, we’ll see the world’s most meme-worthy coin bounce back to $0.26 or even $0.33. Or it could just, you know, drown quietly like my hopes after a failed diet. Anyway, the chart is screaming ‘look out!’-mounting selling pressure, a Death Cross that sounds like a heavy metal band, but in reality means the 50-day EMA fell below the 200-day EMA. That’s crypto speak for “things are bad, folks.”
The funds have danced their way through an elaborate masquerade of over 100 shell companies and high-tech crypto mining ventures, ultimately metamorphosing into Bitcoin-a true artist’s attempt to shroud the sordid tale of their origin.
Behold the daily chart: Bitcoin resembles a wanderer returning from a gluttonous spree near its peak of $126,272, now lingering restfully near the resistance of $110,000. From its nadir around $103,530, Bitcoin has indeed attempted a gallant leap, much like a cat on a polished tabletop, seeking the heights again. The initial sell-off bore the weight of a tempest, yet now only faint glimmers of candles remain, their volume whispers dissipating into the air.
it’s about as secure as your grandma’s secret cookie recipe. To your average pension fund, other crypto assets are like lottery tickets-interesting, but let’s not get too crazy, shall we? It’s Bitcoin that will power the next phase like a well-oiled machine. ⚙️
Market people, the ones with the charts and the fancy coffee, say things might get a little wild by late 2025. And hey, on-chain stuff? Still chugging along, like your grandma’s old car, but hey – it moves!