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And guess what? This little shopping spree has pushed their Ethereum stash to a ridiculous total of 449,276 ETH. That’s a staggering $1.73 billion worth of shiny, digital treasure. 🏴‍☠️ Just when you thought it was safe to check your bank account, SharpLink comes in swinging with a crypto fortune! 😏

Here we are, caught in a Kafkaesque dance around this $4,000 limit— the so-called “psychological” barrier, as some fancy analysts like to call it, though most see it merely as a stubborn obstacle placed by the markets’ cruel humor. That analyst—The Alchemist Trader, no less—muses that Ethereum is at a crossroads, having entered a stage of indecision worthy of a Tolstoy novella. For over a year, it has been trapped in a range between $1,300 and $4,000, like a prisoner endlessly pacing within two brick walls—an endless psychological limbo, punctuated by occasional hope and frequent despair.

Deep in the eighth level of the IT department, where the coffee is cold and the Wi-Fi is warmer than your boss’s regard, Rahul Agarwal found himself entangled in a heist that would make the Thieves’ Guild weep into their ale. You see, Mr. Agarwal’s laptop—poor thing—had been compromised by digital gremlins who turned it … Read more

Andrade tried to sell a token called AML Bitcoin, which he claimed was a legitimate way to fight financial crime. In reality, he used about $10 million from investors to live like a king. I guess the only thing he was fighting was his own boredom with regular money. 🏝️💰

This delightful saga began when whispers spread like wildfire through the blockchain jungle, suggesting Dragonfly might face legal consequences for its 2020 investment in Tornado Cash. Haseeb Qureshi, Dragonfly’s co-founder and apparent master of social media announcements, took to platform X (formerly known as Twitter, but who’s keeping track?) to confirm the DOJ’s change of heart. “Prosecutors admitted they got carried away,” he essentially said, though not in those exact words. And so, the storm clouds parted, leaving Dragonfly free to sip its metaphorical chai in peace. ☕

XRP price started a fresh decline below the $3.20 zone, unlike Bitcoin and Ethereum. The price declined below the $3.120 and $3.080 support levels. I mean, why not join the party while you’re at it, XRP? 🎉

Now, let’s not forget that Bitcoin had a little wobble from its high of $119,796. It dipped below the $119,000 and $118,500 support levels, entering a rather gloomy short-term bearish zone. Oh dear!

Back in July, miners were hoarding BTC like it was the last roll of toilet paper at the start of a pandemic. Between July 2 and July 22, their reserves climbed steadily, hitting a peak of 1.808 million coins. “We’re holding!” they shouted, their diamond hands glistening with optimism. But then, as if someone whispered, “Hey, what if we just… sold?”, they started offloading their holdings faster than a Black Friday shopper ditching a broken TV. 📉💸

A few hours before the U.S. Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) rate cuts meeting, the crypto market experienced a subtle de-risking, particularly affecting the altcoin sector. It seems the market decided to take a cautious sip of tea before the big reveal. 🍵

Renowned trader Michaël van de Poppe (@CryptoMichNL), who has the uncanny ability to turn his portfolio into a rollercoaster ride, tweeted about his OMNI adventures. His altcoin portfolio soared from $35,000 to $60,000, all thanks to some timely trades and a bit of OMNI magic. It’s enough to make you wonder if he has a direct line to the crypto gods.