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Word on the street is that a wallet, possibly linked to World Liberty Financial (because who doesn’t love a good conspiracy?), sold 5,471 ETH for a whopping $8.01 million at $1,465. Thanks, Arkham Intelligence, for the juicy gossip! 🕵️♀️
Picture this: There sat Jan Hatzius and his merry band of economists at Goldman, probably wearing their finest doom-and-gloom suits, solemnly announcing a 65% chance of economic apocalypse. But faster than you can say “covfefe,” Trump jumped onto Truth Social (yes, that’s still a thing 🙄) and essentially said “Just kidding about those tariffs! Well, except for China – they’re still in the naughty corner.”
This deliciously leveraged ETF aims to dazzle (or dismay) by delivering twice the opposite of the daily performance of the Bloomberg Ethereum Index. If our rakish friend Ethereum tumbles 10% in a day, ETHD is supposed to prance up 20%. Of course, it’s all measured daily, so do try not to faint if the splendid -2x promise isn’t quite maintained over time. One must manage one’s expectations, you see. 😏
In a most peculiar turn of events, that would surely set the tongues of Meryton wagging, Bitcoin (BTC) – that most modern of financial instruments – performed a most elegant recovery upon Mr. Trump’s pronouncement regarding the cessation of tariffs. How remarkably convenient, one might say with raised eyebrow and barely concealed derision. 🧐
This kaleidoscopic ascent has ensnared the curious gazes of traders—like moths to a flame! But lo and behold, the winds of change whisper warnings as signs emerge that these merry days of buying may soon be behind us. What a plot twist!
To his legion of 317,700 faithful followers on that curious platform X, he proclaims that the Ethereum adversary seems prepared for a noteworthy resurgence, like a phoenix plotting a comeback after having plummeted a staggering 64% from its zenith of $293 reached in the tender month of January.
These tariffs, designed to protect the sacred American industry and trim the ever-expanding trade deficit, are like a double-edged sword. They promise to shield the homeland but wield the power to reshape the very fabric of the global economy, sending shockwaves through supply chains and geopolitical alliances. It’s like watching a game of chess where the pieces are all trying to escape the board! 🏰
In the wisdom of Carl Moon, the despondent trajectory of Ethereum is nearing its end, a phoenix ready to rise! After a dismal performance, ETH finds itself echoing a historical pattern. Moon’s proclamation echoes through the digital halls: Ethereum now languishes far beneath its realized price of $2,000. 💸
In the gloomy corridors of human trade and despair, the enigmatic Kevin O’Leary proclaims that our current 104% tariff is but a feeble attempt in a grand farce. With a tone at once sardonic and philosophically tormented, he insists that only a monstrous 400% in fiscal retribution can awaken the treacherous slumber of Chinese commerce. Oh, the absurdity of it all! 😏
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