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Data, that most delightful of deceivers, from IntoTheBlock reveals a rather dramatic increase in large-holder inflows. From a modest 96 billion SHIB on April 13, to a flamboyant 224.34 billion SHIB on April 14! Such extravagance! It’s as if the whales are throwing a party and SHIB is the confetti. 🎉 Large holder inflows, for those of you not fluent in crypto-speak, are essentially tokens waltzing into the wallets of those who already have rather a lot. A rise in these transactions suggests that our aquatic behemoths may be plotting something… or perhaps just redecorating their digital mansions.

CoinShares’ weekly report paints a grim picture: $795 million in outflows from the crypto market, with Bitcoin alone bleeding $751 million. This mass exodus, one of the largest of the year, comes as Bitcoin’s price hits a wall, like a drunkard stumbling into a brick alley. James Butterfill, the Head of Research at CoinShares, notes that since early February 2025, digital asset investment products have seen cumulative outflows of $7.2 billion, wiping out nearly all year-to-date gains. Three weeks of declines, with Bitcoin leading the charge—or rather, the retreat. 🏃‍♂️💨

Picture this: In a world heaving under the cryptic weight of blockchains and “compliance”, a partnership emerges. Elliptic, ever eager to peer into the dark wallet-corners of the digital underworld, joins forces with Monerium. Together—they claim, solemn-faced—they will reduce compliance drudgery by 60%, which must come as a disappointment to those who prefer their spreadsheets hand-washed in the tears of auditors. 🤦‍♂️

Upon a recent afternoon, Mr. Deaton, never a man to endorse without due diligence, astonished his audience by extolling the virtues of “Arch Public”—a platform of cryptographic persuasion. Not content with mere endorsement, he called upon the company of Gemini and other eminent players, as though hosting a tea party for the Who’s Who of the ledger.

After weathering the tempestuous market volatility that has so kindly rocked our fragile hearts, ADA has—almost heroically, if I may add—carved out a base of support. It’s beginning to show signs of life, with rising lows and increased buying interest. Of course, nothing is certain in this cruel game, but it certainly gives one the faintest glimmer of hope. Perhaps the bulls have finally come to their senses? Or maybe they’ve just had too much of the endless doom and gloom? Only time will tell… ⏳

As of 4:50 p.m. EDT on Tuesday, Apr. 15, the global crypto market capitalization had shrunk by 1.07% to $2.65 trillion. Bitcoin, the poster child of digital currencies, gave up approximately 0.8% after briefly flirting with $86,450 earlier in the day. Ethereum (ETH) followed suit, slipping 1.16%, while Cardano (ADA) decided to take a nosedive, falling 2.64% against the U.S. dollar. Because why not make it a competition?

The mastermind behind this scheme, Michael Ashton, is under the delusion that this newfangled asset will somehow protect your purchasing power by reducing your exposure to inflation risk. One can only hope the rest of the stablecoin market, teeming with competition, doesn’t find its niche too quickly and squash this ambitious project.