jpyxx So here’s the scoop: Brazil rolled out this shiny new “digital certificate of agriculture” – yep, sounds as fancy as a tinfoil hat convention but powered by blockchain, which is basically the nerdy superhero of the tech world. Ministry of Agriculture cooked this thing up, probably with a few caipirinhas nearby.
Here’s the gem from their statement: “We really hope our Republican pals jump on board for a bipartisan collaboration thingy, since that’s how people normally do big stuff. And since we all want to move fast, maybe they’ll say yes to reasonable requests.” Reasonable? That’s pretty funny-like reasonable means something in politics.
Round three of this thrilling financial soap opera is basically the sequel nobody asked for but everyone’s watching anyway. It’s topping up those “eligible, allowed” claims-because apparently, “eligible” is the new sexy. This means customers and unsecured creditors who’ve already survived prior rounds now get another cash sprinkle. Think of it as FTX’s way of saying, “Still here, still paying, kind of.” It’s all part of their Chapter 11 plan, which is less “courtroom drama” and more “direct deposit happiness.”
Crypto hacks have sprouted like mushrooms after rain-up 15% in August alone, with over $2.5 billion spirited away by nimble-fingered cyber scoundrels. One particularly unlucky soul handed over $4.3 million in staked Ethereum [ETH] and $2.2 million in wrapped Bitcoin [BTC] like a gift to a very shady Santa Claus. 🎅💀
Bitcoin’s been dancing in a narrow creek, flowing between $115,500 and $117,900-nothing wild, just biding its time after it had a good kick up post-Fed. That $116,900 spot? Like a rattlesnake in the grass, it gave some traders a nasty “fakeout” and wiped out a few futures positions. The herd is hanging close to that line, watching for the telltale twitch that means it’s ready to charge forward or maybe just turn tail.
The platform is now launching full-scale legal action against these criminals, who, shocker, weren’t just hanging out on X but had their claws deep into several other social media platforms.
Just a day after its $3.10 high-five, XRP tripped over its own ledger, shedding 3.8% of its value like a crypto version of a bad hair day. 🌪️💇♂️ While it mirrored the wider crypto market’s mood swings, XRP seems to have missed the memo on its own good news. ETFs? Launched. Tokenized assets? Unveiled. Headlines? Dominated. Yet, here we are. 🤷♂️
But hold on, it’s not all smooth sailing. The balances remain locked until users fulfill the full migration checklist, which still includes the age-old requirement of standard KYC. Classic bureaucracy, am I right?
One must observe, with some anticipation and perhaps a dash of amusement, that the IMX price today has paused for a genteel breath after such a spirited September ascent, resting comfortably at $0.8720, with a market cap that would make any suitor blush – a tidy $1.64 billion. This ongoing breakout, marrying itself to the latest news brought forth by Immutable, has cast renewed light upon IMX crypto, suggesting (if one might be so bold) the possibility of an encore performance in bullishness.
At this moment, XRP is near $3.05, marking a weekly gain just under 2%. Who’s impressed? (Definitely not the “moon” crowd.) A bull flag has made its appearance on the weekly chart, which, as always, comes after a sharp upward move. But don’t get too excited-this may only point to a short-term target of around $5.8. I know, so underwhelming. 😒