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Yet, through this cacophony of despair and hope, a curious little project called HEMI sashayed to the front of the stage, claiming its crown as one of September’s most gallant gainers. Bitunix, that ever-eager young exchange, no doubt drawn by the scent of bubbly profits, promptly listed $HEMI on September 24th. 

According to Cipollone, who’s been hanging out with the EU’s finest in a little event called Bloomberg’s Future of Finance in Frankfurt (sounds thrilling, right?), the middle of 2029 is a “fair assessment.” You know, as fair as saying you’ll finish a book in the next decade. 📚 He went on to mention that the ECB has been discussing the project with EU member states-probably over some lukewarm coffee and existential dread about how long things take in Europe.

Yet, as the dust settled, our enraptured audience discovered that this modest greeting did not descend from the lips of Sam Bankman-Fried himself, but rather from a loyal friend wielding the quill in his stead. True, this revelation only added more fuel to the ever-roaring fires of curiosity among the crypto aficionados.

Before the sun sets on September 25, 2025, behold! The brave BNB holders, those who dare to keep their coins in the digital vault, will get a taste of early XPL rewards. Imagine waking up one morning and finding a mysterious gift in your wallet-yeah, that’s the promise here, but let’s not get too excited, or we might fall into the trap of optimism.

With this infusion, Zerohash’s coffers now boast a princely sum of $275 million, ready to fuel their ambitions like an old-time trolley car charged by a furious thunderstorm. They propose to speed ahead with product expansion, hiring spree, and their noble quest as on-chain infrastructure providers for the elusive beasts known as crypto, stablecoins, and tokenized assets. Since its inception in 2017, the company has offered rigorously compliant APIs and a dev-kit as charming and embeddable as a purring cat, enchanting over five million users scattered across 190 countries, and delighting customers such as Interactive Brokers, Stripe, Franklin Templeton, and DraftKings-because who doesn’t want a bit of crypto sprinkled on their fantasy sports? 🪄

Agriforce Growing Systems (Nasdaq: AGRI) announced it will rebrand as Avax One. This marks the launch of the first publicly traded company dedicated to AVAX. The company outlined plans to raise $550 million to build a long-term AVAX treasury strategy.

He was on CNBC’s Closing Bell Overtime (because where else do you get the crypto gospel?) saying these companies and ETFs are basically snatching up all the Bitcoin like it’s the last bag of pretzels at a party. Apparently, they’re buying more than what the miners are digging up. That’s some serious FOMO going on.

Filed in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware, the complaint alleges that Sam Bankman-Fried directed Alameda Research, FTX’s sister trading firm, to funnel customer funds into GDA at inflated prices. 💸

Under the stars of good ol’ market mood until the final bell tolls this month, indeed!

Indeed! BTC dominance is strutting around like a Cossack after a feast, as traders abandon altcoins faster than you can say “liquidations” and stablecoin shakeups.