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Bitcoin, once the prima donna of the crypto opera, now shuffles like a tired bureaucrat. Large holders, particularly from the East, have taken to selling with the fervor of a man dumping his mother-in-law’s china. This relentless offloading has left BTC gasping for breath, its recovery as likely as a Russian summer without mosquitoes. Meanwhile, ETF inflows have slowed to a trickle, as big investors eye the stage with the caution of a cat approaching a cucumber. 🐱🥒

In the wake of this crypto catastrophe, Curve Finance didn’t just shake its head. No, no! They issued a warning that felt like a great big slap in the face to every DeFi developer out there: Double-check your code, folks! Check your math, especially in the places that seem “simple!” Because, trust me, in DeFi, “simple” can be the most complicated thing of all.

Coinglass’s accounts tell a tale of over one billion dollars-yes, with a B-evaporating in leveraged longs within a mere day, a veritable flood of retreat and surrender. The Fear and Greed Index, that whimsical gauge of market spirit, sank to 21-an abyss of despair-only to stumble back to 26, still lingering in the realm of terror and trembling. These ripples of panic ripple outward, causing the traders’ hearts to race and their confidence to waver. As if market doom was the flavor of the day, and everyone was invited to the pity party. 🎉

In the quiet corners of the Australian Securities Exchange, where kangaroos once leapt and Wallabies dozed, BlackRock has stirred the pot with a plot as audacious as a fox in a henhouse. By mid-November 2025, the iShares Bitcoin ETF (IBIT) shall grace the ASX, offering citizens a “regulated” means to dabble in Bitcoin without the … Read more

As dawn broke, the market’s mood was as gloomy as a Tolstoy winter-sullen and unforgiving. Strategy Inc. (MSTR), proud guardian of Bitcoin’s treasury, tumbled 3.3%. Coinbase (COIN), the grand marketplace of digital dreams, declined by 3.12%, like a grand estate losing its luster in a flood of bad news. Robinhood (HOOD), that oft-cherished tool of the common man, fell 3.35%, perhaps realizing that Robin’s wings are not always so soaring. The smaller firms-SharpLink and BitMine-shrieked and fell by nearly 4.3% and 4.9% respectively, as if they could feel the cold wind of a market that no longer cares for their fragile hopes.

Bitcoin, that capricious beast, plummeted 17% from its lofty perch on Tuesday, now wallowing beneath $104,000 like a disgraced tsar.

Polymarket, not to be outdone, welcomed more than 477,000 active traders to the platform in October-its largest monthly user base yet. This represents a remarkable 48% rise from September, leaving the previous peak of 462,000 traders-achieved during the highly charged U.S. elections of January-seemingly in the dust. Ah, the joys of a good market spike! 😏

Oscar Ramos, a man of some 160,000 subscribers, whose digital pulpit is devoted to the arcane rites of XRP, found himself once more at the mercy of these capricious gatekeepers. His latest transgression? A video on the Ripple Swell Conference, a gathering so innocuous it could scarcely rouse a slumbering AI.

In a recent X post (because, apparently, tweets are for peasants now), Buterin called modexp “by far the worst offender” in ZK-EVM prover inefficiency. Like, it’s 50 times more complex than your average block. FIFTY TIMES. That’s like trying to explain quantum physics to a goldfish. 🐠

The trend’s as bearish as a grizzly in a tutu, but maybe-just maybe-MNT’ll bounce to $1.4 before the next “surprise” bearish nosedive. Think of it as a rollercoaster with no seatbelts. 🎢