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Key takeaways:

Amidst this uncertainty, on-chain data offers a curious glimmer of hope-or perhaps a cruel joke. Whales, those enigmatic titans of the crypto ocean, continue their silent accumulation, even as the market quivers with doubt. This steady influx of capital from the leviathans suggests a perverse confidence in Ethereum’s future, as if they’ve peered into the abyss and found… opportunity. One might call it a “correction”; the other might call it a masquerade of weakness. Either way, history has shown that such moves often precede a resurgence, though whether this is a phoenix rising or a phoenix roasting remains to be seen. 🔥

Now, what exactly are these “crypto whales” buying to secure their place in the October sun? Let’s take a peek at their secret stash, shall we?

Disclosed on Tuesday, the accord places Canaan to set down roughly one exahash per second of thought-made iron at the facility, which mostly sips from behind-the-meter wind power and can lean on the grid to keep uptime awake. The two parties say the installation should begin in the first quarter of 2026. 😅

Indeed, the broader crypto market, in its haphazard manner, managed to reflect this audacious bounce, rising by a modest percent-yet, dear reader, let us ponder: is this fleeting joy but a fragile illusion, dependent on the fickle whims of capital inflow into these digital relics?

In a Tuesday notice, Harris said the NYDFS had updated guidance first announced in January 2023 to better protect users “in the event of an insolvency or similar proceeding.” The document itself looked simple enough, a ledger kept honest: clarifying what were “acceptable sub-custodians,” guardrails for crypto custody, and “permissible uses of customer assets.” A dry wind, but with teeth.

TradFi ETFs, those ancient behemoths, often languish in September, but October whispers promises of revival for BTC. New XRP and altcoin ETFs loom on the horizon, a potential feast for the markets, yet they dare not usurp Bitcoin’s throne. The king remains, though the court jesters clamor for attention. 👑🤡

Only 24% of Binance-listed altcoins are above their 200-day SMA. Yep, it’s like that one piece of clothing on the sale rack that no one’s bought because it just doesn’t look ‘fashionable’ enough. But hey, those discounts can be *very* tempting. 🛍️

Not satisfied with merely turning American investing upside down like a confused kangaroo, Robinhood is reportedly thinking bigger-much bigger. According to some diligent humans at Bloomberg, the plan is to throw open the doors of their prediction palace to the rest of the planet. Because if there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s the unstoppable urge to bet on whether that political candidate will actually remember their name on election day, or if the crypto market will behave like a caffeinated squirrel on roller skates. 🐿️💸

But fear not, dear reader! The total loss was, in fact, less than the $163 million of August. So… um… progress, right? Of course, the number of attacks and their scale has risen to absurd levels. An alarming trend, wouldn’t you say? 📉