Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Long-Term Holders Panic-Sell Like It’s 1999 😱📉

Enter Axel Adler, the Cassandra of crypto metrics, armed with insights from the Bitcoin UTXO Age Metrics. His findings? Long-term holders (LTHs), those venerable sages of the blockchain, are now behaving like teenagers at a garage sale-offloading their prized possessions to anyone foolish enough to buy them 🛒. Historically, such behavior has heralded periods of downside pressure, as the market struggles to absorb the influx of long-held coins. It seems even the most stoic hodlers cannot resist the siren call of profit-taking when prices flirt with all-time highs.

XRP’s 70% Payments Collapse: Speculation Thrives as Utility Dives 😂📉

And yet, beyond the shallow thrills of technical analysis, something rather tragic brews: XRP’s payments activity, once lively and numerous like guests at a provincial wedding, has shriveled by over 70% in a month. On September 8, 2025, only 221,000 daily transactions shuffled between accounts-down from a boisterous 750,000 in August, as reported by the ever-dour XRP Ledger. One must ask, with a sigh: what good is a coin that no one bothers to pass around? Somewhere, a ledger weeps quietly. 📚😢

Bitcoin Fork Frenzy: Censor or Flourish? 🎭

Bitcoin Fork Image

The open letter, crafted on X from Leonidas, host of The Ordinal Show-much like an edgy playwright crafting a polemic-burst forth this past Saturday amidst a high drama within the Bitcoin community. Here lies a battleground of ideologies: should node validators nurture peer-to-peer financial transactions while casting aside-or at least disregarding-those gargantuan data transactions, akin to a bulky antique radio squashing the room’s aesthetic, known as pictures, videos, or documents, which detractors decry as mere spam?

Stablecoin Showdown: HKMA’s Exclusive Club 😎💸

According to whispers carried by the Hong Kong Economic Journal (because who doesn’t love a good financial gossip?), no fewer than 77 institutions have already raised their hands like eager schoolchildren, clamoring for a chance at this shiny new toy. ICBC (Asia) has donned its application hat alongside BOC Hong Kong, while HSBC-ever the overachiever-has also sauntered into the fray with all the nonchalance of a cat deciding whether or not to grace you with its presence 🐱.

Will HBAR Hit $0.40? Gogol’s Cryptic Take on Hedera’s Chaotic Ballet 😄

On the daily chart shared by analysts (who may or may not have had too much coffee), we see what appears to be a bull flag formation-an elegant signal of upward ambition if you squint just right. The price action tightens like a corset at a ball, highs and lows inching closer together as though engaged in polite conversation. Is this consolidation building momentum for a breakout? Or merely the market catching its breath before another nap? Ah, the suspense is thicker than porridge on a winter morning! 🥶

Did Tether Really Dump Bitcoin?

The drama began when the infamous YouTuber Clive Thompson made a splash, alleging that Tether’s quarterly attestations revealed a mass Bitcoin sell-off. According to Clive’s impeccable “math,” Tether’s stash had dwindled from a robust 92,650 BTC in Q1 to a mere 83,274 BTC by Q2 of 2025. Cue the Twitter frenzy: had Tether secretly decided to offload their precious Bitcoin while everyone else was busy hoarding their sats? 🤔

Bitcoin, Gold, and CHF: The Holy Trinity of Financial Desperation 🏦💸🇨🇭

While Bitcoin’s (BTC) price has pulled back recently, it remains much higher than the year-to-date low. A minor stumble for a digital asset that’s mastered the art of being both a speculative gamble and a store of value. Meanwhile, Bitcoin ETFs continue to add assets this year, with their cumulative inflows rising by $54 billion since January last year. One wonders if the inflows are from investors or just confused algorithms. 🤖

XRP’s $50 Gamble: ETFs or Hopium?

Bitwise, WisdomTree, and six other “crypto gurus” are playing dress-up with their S-1 filings, all eyeing October like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. The SEC’s recent Ripple dismissal? Just a warm-up act for this ETF circus. 🎪