jpyxx The saga of Libra, a cryptocurrency as credible as a baronet’s promise to pay, continues to unfold in Argentina. A congressional commission, no doubt composed of men with furrowed brows and futile hopes, is probing the ties between government luminaries and the token’s launch. Alas, their efforts have been as successful as a Waugh protagonist’s marriage-stalled, stymied, and steeped in absurdity.
Clearing this resistance is as crucial as a well-timed witticism at a dinner party. Without it, the rally is but a fleeting fancy, darling. 🥂🤷♂️
Coinbase’s proof of reserves, a document as sacred as a society matron’s little black book, reveals a total supply of 9.56 million ADA backing the wrapped ADA on the Base network. Presently, 9.53 million cbADA frolic on said network, a 462% leap from the paltry 1.7 million at launch in June. One can only imagine the champagne corks popping at Cardano HQ. 🥂
The debate surrounding France’s financial troubles and Bitcoin’s glorious rise has heated up to a boiling point, thanks to recent comments made by Arthur Hayes. Isn’t it just the most intriguing of topics? 🎩
There’s some *serious* whale activity going on here. No, not the ones in the ocean – we’re talking about those giant, wallet-fueled crypto whales who are all like, “Hey, let’s scoop up some ADA, shall we?” 🐋💸
In September’s grand spectacle, MARA conjured 736 BTC ($88.6 million) from the digital ether-a 4.4% rise from August! This bounty claimed 5.2% of all block rewards, as the global hashrate soared like a caffeinated phoenix to 1,031 EH/s. Yet MARA, undaunted, secured 218 blocks (a 5% leap) while their Texan wind-powered lair hummed at 60.4 EH/s. Truly, they dance with hurricanes! 🌪️
According to the Financial Times, the UK government has ordered Apple to allow access to encrypted iCloud backups of British users. The renewed request differs from previous demands in that it limits access to UK-based accounts, but critics argue that the change still poses serious risks. 🤡
Bitcoin, the “king” of crypto, is a noble beast, yes, but one with the speed of a sloth on valium and the transaction fees of a gold-plated tollbooth. Its flaws? Let us list them like the plagues of Egypt:
In the first act of this three-phase tragicomedy, the native stablecoin USDG shall emerge, as inevitable as a bureaucrat’s procrastination. 🪙 Soon, they say! But when, dear reader, is “soon” in the land of blockchain? A week? A year? A millennium? Only the ether knows. 🤷♂️
The esteemed firm of Matrixport, ever the gossipmonger of crypto affairs, hath whispered on Friday that over two hundred billion dollars’ worth of these sprightly companies are dressing for the matrimonial ball of initial public offerings, poised to wed the public markets and raise a dowry of thirty to forty-five billion in gleaming capital. How delightful, one imagines the envy among lesser coins! 😉
