jpyxx On a day that will forever be etched in intergalactic law enforcement archives, October 14 witnessed the Department of Justice’s grand theft of approximately 127,271 BTC from unhosted wallets associated with the mondo mysterious Chen Zhi – a Brit and a Cambodian of no particular importance, who thought his galactic empire would remain undisturbed.
“Dogecoin is also based on energy,” chirped the ever-vigilant Sir Doge of the Coin, to which Musk replied with a punctuation mark so pregnant with meaning, one could almost hear the collective gasp of the crypto sphere. Yet, the market, that fickle prima donna, remained unmoved. Dogecoin, languishing at $0.196, seemed to shrug off the maestro’s touch, as if to say, “Been there, barked that.”
Proof They’ve Got the Crypto Stuff
The mNAV-(market cap + liabilities) divided by Bitcoin assets-plunged under 1.0, implying the market values this company less than its digital gold hoard. A concept so ludicrous, even Oblomov would wake from his slumber to scoff at it. 🤦♂️
And lo, the market crashed with the force of a thousand elephants, wiping out nearly half a trillion dollars in a single day, with over $19 billion in leveraged positions liquidated. A veritable financial tempest! ⚠️📉
According to the ever-watchful Politico, Downing presented a draft bill to the House Financial Services Committee, attempting to gift Executive Order 14330 the permanence of law. Imagine: a world where your retirement dreams might just ride a digital rollercoaster.
They targeted these shady Southeast Asian scam factories, specifically the notorious Cambodia’s Prince Group TCO and the Huione Group-because nothing screams “trustworthy” like a criminal org with a fancy acronym. Meanwhile, Huione was busy laundering over $4 billion-yes, billion-with crypto and fiat, including money stolen in North Korean hacking shenanigans and Southeast Asian “pig butchering” scams (think less gourmet, more grift). 🍖💸
The Korea Securities Depository, that somber archivist of fiscal folly, reveals a pattern as predictable as a Nabokov protagonist’s downfall: South Koreans shun the mundane. Why rest during their Thanksgiving equivalent when one can frolic in the volatile meadows of global markets? Safety, it seems, is for the aesthetically bankrupt. 🧑🎤💸
Il paraît que Monsieur Chen Zhi, ce noble fondateur et président du Prince Holding Group, n’est pas qu’un simple homme d’affaires – non, c’est le cerveau derrière une opération à la fois diabolique et spectaculaire! Une entreprise transnationale, avec des camps de travail forcé en Cambodge, où l’on contraignait des innocents à jouer la comédie de la fraude – et pas la petite comédie, mais celle où tout le théâtre tourne autour de “piger la viande” en crypto, pendant que l’on vole les victimes, souvent américains, souvent naïfs, mais toujours dupés.
