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To fund this operation, Ripple is raising the grand sum of $1 billion through a Special Acquisition Company (SPAC). Their aim? To create an XRP treasury. One might almost say it’s a treasure chest, if only they weren’t so serious about it. According to Bloomberg, this treasure is likely to unlock the vaults of the corporate treasury market, a market with a value that could make your head spin and your wallet feel a little light.

According to the Financial Times (yes, that bastion of truth), these “nudge letters” are less about compassion and more about compliance. They urge investors to confess their taxable sins before HMRC’s investigators descend like vultures. Over four years, 100,000 such letters have flown-proof that the tax authorities treat crypto with the same reverence as a medieval church treats heresy. “Voluntary compliance,” they say. What they mean: “Surrender now or face the scaffold.” 🎭

Marshal your wits! On the chart of four hours, our dear TAO hath heroically reclaimed the $403.65 level of Fibonacci’s dark design, turning it into support more solid than the throne of an absolute monarch. Behold! The token doth now stand above its weekly average of $394.36, a sign that the bullish tidings continue. From the humble $345.41, it did spring forth, defending the noble pivot at $371.4 with the valor of a knight defending his lady’s honor. The MACD, that wily herald, whispers +7.71, signaling that the bullish endeavor accelerates apace. Meanwhile, the RSI sits at 55, not yet drunken with overconfidence-no, there remains more to win! 🍷📈

In this curious charade, several metrics whisper promises of better days. A symphony of data hints at the curtain call of selling pressures, and eagerly, the early scents of recovery are wafting in the air.

The official announcement doth state that SEA shall be overseen by the “OpenSea Foundation,” a body presumably intended to manage the distribution and maintain a degree of civility amongst the eager claimants. A most generous fifty percent of the total supply is to be allocated to the community, with more than half of that portion promised to those who make the initial claim-a prospect that, no doubt, will inspire a flurry of applications and, perhaps, a little strategic maneuvering.

And that wasn’t all. XRP and Dogecoin also felt the sting as massive sell-offs wiped out leveraged bets faster than you can say “bear market.”

Now, there’s this fellow. A *whale*, they call him. Sounds terribly important, doesn’t it? This whale – a proper clever clogs, he thought he was – made a fortune betting that Bitcoin and Ethereum would go down. He was right! But then, oh dear, he had a rather brilliant idea… to suddenly bet they’d go *up*! Honestly, the cheek of it! 🙄

This whole plan got louder this week when Governor Johnson Asiama – a very important man, very important! – started yapping about sending a bill to parliament and building a whole *unit* inside the bank just to watch the digital assets. A whole unit! As if they don’t have enough paperwork already! 🙄

In a missive on the fateful Friday, October 17, Burniske scribbled that this cycle “hath been a disappointment most foul,” a sentiment that “paralyzeth action as souls pine for bluer skies, or the glory of former ATHs.” 🌩️ He urged investors to think in linear monthly terms, eschewing the “chart minutiae” that doth drive men to madness. “MSTR slippeth, gold sendeth a dire warning, as do the credit markets, and stocks shall be the last to grasp the message…” he added, with a dramatic flourish. “I yearn to witness how $BTC respondeth to $100K, but perchance I shall return to the fray when $BTC doth plummet to $75K or lower.” The post, a spectacle of woe, garnered 50.2K views, a testament to its tragic allure.

According to Bloomberg (which, let’s be honest, probably needed a story after running out of things to say about airline food), they’ll be buying up “medium-sized” crypto firms. Apparently, the small ones are too chaotic, and the big ones are…well, probably already bought up by someone else with too much money. Akshat Vaidya, Maelstrom’s co-founder, says they’ll be throwing around $40-$75 million a year on companies that do “essential services.” Like what, making sure all the servers are plugged in? 🤔