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Thus, comrades, Bloomberg, that chronicler of capitalist odysseys, whispers (with all the subtlety of a debt collector at midnight) that Ant Digital, under Jack Ma’s watchful and perhaps mischievous eye, is currently trying its hand at tokenizing 60 billion yuan’s worth of power infrastructure-all on the sacred altar of AntChain. Picture it-thousands upon thousands of wind turbines, solar panels, and other energy devices standing vigil as their output and outages are shipped off in ones and zeros, their very souls forever bound to the blockchain. ☁️⚡

Upbit, the undisputed heavyweight champion of South Korea’s crypto market, confirmed this news at their Upbit D Conference 2025 on a fine Monday. Nothing says “I’m serious” like a big conference reveal. 💼💡

Forward Industries, in a moment of madness, revealed its plans for a private investment in public equity (PIPE) offering, a $1.65 billion plunge into the abyss of crypto speculation. 🧨

But wait, there’s more! BeInCrypto has donned its crystal ball (or possibly just squinted at some charts) and identified two other altcoins that might hit new all-time highs this week-if the market doesn’t suddenly decide to throw a tantrum, of course. Let’s dive into the cryptoverse’s latest contenders for greatness, shall we?

Canaan, in a statement worthy of a West End play, announced that Luxor now offers its clients non-dilutive financing at “competitive rates” and “low collateral requirements.” The duo insists this is for the benefit of “institutional operators” who, let’s face it, probably have better things to do than juggle cash flow and terahash rates. 🤝

Yet, fear not, dear reader, for the SwissBorg app and its other Earn products remain unscathed, as proclaimed in a post on X. The pilfered SOL tokens, valued at a staggering $41 million, are but a trifle in the grand scheme of their coffers. 💰

Nasdaq’s President, Tal Cohen, took to LinkedIn-that modern-day salon of thought-to proclaim the virtues of this integration. “Less friction, faster settlements, and automated processes,” she declared, as if conjuring a utopia where traders no longer need their afternoon tea to steady their nerves. Cohen, ever the pragmatist, assured the world that this venture would “leverage the strengths of US equities” while “scaling blockchain benefits responsibly.” One can almost hear the ghost of Turgenev chuckling at such lofty ambitions. 😏

Ah, but let us reflect on Ethereum’s latest rally-a spectacle of strength, they say. According to ShayanMarkets, a contributor to CryptoQuant, Ethereum’s funding rates resemble a lazy river compared to the roaring torrents of its previous highs. Back in early 2024, when ETH funding rates soared to 0.8, the market was drunk on leverage and speculation. The result? A price collapse as inevitable as gravity itself.

Since September 8th, registered users can now spend their hard-earned points-acquired by doing… well, stuff on the platform-on an assortment of “special rewards,” which, by all accounts, are probably better than a tin of expired biscuits but sadly not quite a trip to the Moon (yet). 🚀

According to the legal scrolls-filed on May 12, right after Mashinsky’s fate was sealed by the mighty gavel of justice-he’s expected to check in with authorities no later than 2:00 pm ET on Friday. The clock is ticking, Alex! ⏰