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SCMP reported that Hong Kong’s very diligent Commercial Crime Bureau (think of them as the crime-fighting Avengers, but without capes) arrested nine men and three women, aged 20 to 40—probably with significantly worse excuses—to raid their hideouts on Thursday. They seized over HK$1.05 million in cold, hard cash, more than 560 ATM cards (because one is never enough), mobile phones, and enough bank documents to make even the most dedicated paper hoarder weep. These suspects now face charges of conspiracy to commit money laundering, which sounds far more glamorous than it actually is.

Now, Binance and Kraken weren’t exactly sitting pretty during this wave of social engineering attacks, which, by the way, is just a fancy way of saying “tricking people into doing stupid things.” Bloomberg reports that hackers tried to bribe customer service employees at Binance. They wanted the employees to spill the beans on a Telegram account, but lo and behold, Binance’s trusty AI systems spotted the suspicious behavior faster than you can say “phishing scam!” Even though the messages were in languages that could confuse the most seasoned of linguists, the bots caught on quicker than a cat spotting a laser pointer.

Charles Hoskinson, a key player in blockchain advancements and one of Ethereum’s co-creators, expresses optimism about Bitcoin’s potential growth. In terms of market movements, Hoskinson anticipates that Bitcoin could potentially reach $250,000 before the end of this year or the next, not solely based on technical aspects but on broader global economic indicators.

Despite all the fanfare, Pi’s value plummeted over 45%, tumbling from its recent high—an emotional rollercoaster that left even the most optimistic scratching their heads. Now, shivering on the brink of $0.70, the token’s fate hangs in the balance, much like a character waiting for a stroke of divine intervention or simply hoping the ship doesn’t sink. 🚢💸

If you look closely at the chart, it’s like a mood ring for crypto. The colors range from dark blue (aka the “Extreme Bear” phase, where all hope seems lost) to red (the “Overheated Bull” phase, aka the wild party where no one knows when to go home). The latest monthly update, though, is showing that the bear has officially been evicted, and it’s time for a bullish comeback.

As a diligent researcher, I’m sharing an update: In a recent announcement, the Department of Justice (DOJ) has indicted an additional 12 individuals for their alleged involvement in a crypto-related racketeering scheme. This brings the total number of suspects implicated to 14. The conspiracy is said to have amassed approximately $263 million in illicit gains.

In a shocking display of optimism (or maybe just good ol’ wishful thinking), Scott Melker, the self-proclaimed “Wolf of All Streets,” predicts that Bitcoin could rocket up to $250,000 by the end of 2025. Apparently, macro factors like the U.S. inflation cooling to a breezy 2.3% (hey, it’s better than expected!) are the wind in Bitcoin’s sails. But before you get too excited, remember that U.S. debt ceiling talks and PPI data might just come crashing down on this rocket ship of hope.

Applied Digital outdid itself, soaring over 22% to close at $6.83—truly impressive for a company that probably dreams of becoming a digital gold rush hero. Bitdeer Technologies followed with a respectable 10.63% gain at $15.19, while Hut 8 Corp. crested nearly 10%, ending at $17.13—because why not add a little excitement? 🎢

According to some fancy number crunchers at Lookonchain, a whale that’d been nappin’ for two whole years finally woke up, rubbed his eyes, and took a dump of 1.79 trillion PEPE coins from Binance. That’s right, almost a quarter of a billion dollars’ worth of meme magic just scooped up in one go. This ol’ whale, valued at over $22 million, has stirred the pot good and proper, makin’ a bunch of folks wonder if we’re bound for a wild rally or just another dip in the swamp. 🐳

But don’t get too excited. Solana’s broader market? Not so confident. At press time, SOL was trading at $168.58, which means it’s down 1.66% in the last 24 hours. Whoo, hot stuff, huh?