Ripple vs SEC Lawsuit Ends: Court Clerk Has Final Say 🎉💸

Some XRP enthusiasts, presumably still holding their breath in 2025, thought a judge’s approval was needed. But Marc Fagel, former SEC lawyer and apparent oracle of legal clarity, explained that the case is “essentially over already.” For clarity: no judges, no drama, just a clerk doing their job. How thrilling.

Ethereum ETFs: The $59 Million Question 😳

And wouldn’t you know it, Ether decided to take a little nap too. After almost kissing its 2021 all-time high of $4,878 (a mere 2% away!), it’s now chilling under $4,450. Guess even cryptocurrencies need a breather after a month-long rally pushed prices up nearly 30%. Who knew digital assets could get so tired? 😴

Is Sui Price the New Comedy of Errors? Find Out Why Everyone’s Laughing! 😂

And what of the broader market, you ask? Well, it seems the U.S. CPI data, revealing a 3.3% annual inflation, has sent the crypto market into a tailspin, resulting in a 1.5% drop and a staggering $1.05 billion in liquidations. For SUI, the short liquidations of $119k have outpaced the long liquidations of $14k, painting a rather gloomy picture of bearish sentiment. The futures open interest has also taken a hit, declining by 9.2% to $1.79 billion, while funding rates have normalized to a paltry 0.0083% after their dramatic peak in July. Truly, a comedy of errors!

A $21 Million Whale Froze Hell… And HYPE Skyrocketed to $50! 🔥🐋

Observe, one may piously declare, that ordinary coins limp, bleed, and howl through red charts, while HYPE pirouettes in green like a repentant sinner who has just swapped his hair-shirt for silk-six percent overnight, five-hundred percent since the last collective hemorrhaging. And Arthur the Gray (Hayes, if you must his earthly title), he too inched his hoard to 58,631 tokens, pocketing an unrealized $206,000. Pride cometh before a liquidation-yet he smiles. 🙃

Bankers Sound the Alarm Over GENIUS Act: Stablecoin Fears Grow

In a letter to the Senate Banking Committee, these associations, representing all 50 states, have raised their voices in unison. They’ve got a list of demands longer than a summer day, and one of them is a bit of an eyebrow-raiser. Their chief complaint? This stablecoin business could become a bit too wild if left unchecked.

🤑 How Bitcoin Heist Hints at Silicon Wannabe Trumps

Antminer Units

Word spreads that the phantasmagoric sum of approximately 314 million was lavished on a fortune’s trinkets-16,290 Antminer U3S21EXPH units-all courtesy of the illustrious Chinese colossus, Bitmain. What say you of this? A veritable feast of 14.02 exahashes per second – enough to tickle the curiosity of those following their cryptic hashes.

Meet Your New Crypto BFF: Gemini Wallet 🤑🔐

So, I was minding my own business, scrolling through the internet, when I stumbled upon this gem (pun intended). Gemini, the crypto exchange that’s always trying to make our lives easier, announced on Aug. 14 the release of the Gemini Wallet. It’s like a Swiss Army knife for crypto, but way cooler. Designed to streamline onchain interactions for both everyday users and developers, it comes with the Gemini Onchain Dashboard-a browser-based hub where you can view your holdings, explore decentralized applications, and even earn returns through DeFi vaults. Eric Kuhn, head of onchain at Gemini, had this to say: