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“November is Bitcoin’s finest month, by all accounts,” Daan declared on X, his quill trembling with excitement. “An average November change of +46.02% across the dataset! A feat most remarkable, though slightly marred by the infamous November 2013 surge of +449.35%-a single month’s gain so vast, it could make even Mr. Darcy swoon.” He added, with a touch of irony, “The average gain is +46.02%, but this is heavily skewed by that one fateful month.”

What’s really happening? Are we about to see a chunky correction, or is this the dawn of a shiny new rally? Only time will tell, but grab some popcorn-because this is not going to be boring.

Now, the raw numbers look outright depressing, like the last act of a play where everyone despairs. But hold your horses; the real story is about what traders are thinking. Are they panic-selling, or just setting up for a gamble where they hope to cash in if things bounce back? Fewer tokens are leaving exchanges, which could mean traders are just flirting with disaster rather than jumping in headlong into it. The market dance has been oscillating between “buy the dip” and “let’s see what happens,” like a clumsy couple trying to waltz but stepping on each other’s toes.

If momentum keeps up, ZEC might revisit its 2017 glory days. But if it fizzles out? Expect a trip back to the bargain bin. 🛒

Investors wager a 97.8% chance the Fed will cut interest rates by a quarter of a percentage point (25bps), as if the central bankers are already scribbling the announcement on a napkin during their third espresso break.

“To command the stage,” Xethalis declaimed, “one must wield a ‘33 Act – Effective Registration Statement on Form S-1. A ‘34 Act – 19b-4 Approval, Trading Rules Letter, Filed Registration Statement on Form 8-A. And fifth, an Exchange willing to whisper your name and let you perform.” He paused, as if savoring the irony. “As a 15-year ETP lawyer, I confess: this is uncharted territory, like a poet reciting haikus in a tax code.”

The crypto circus is pitching its tent for a grand spectacle this week, with a jaw-dropping $653 million in token unlocks ready to leap through hoops of uncertainty. 🌈🤹‍♂️

Last month, our dear Pi Network’s troupe declared that they shall ascend from the humble v19 to the grandeur v23-like a playwright upgrading his act from mere scribbles to a full-blown spectacle. This “custom Pi protocol,” borrowed from Stellar v23, promises new acts-more controls, more community-driven applause. But, beware-the plot thickens! It now boasts of embedding Know-Your-Customer authority-because who wouldn’t want a bit of bureaucratic flair in their blockchain? Truly, a masterpiece of modern governance.

Until one of these levels is decisively breached-or perhaps, more accurately, until the market’s collective patience snaps like a twig-Bitcoin will continue its tedious waltz, accumulating liquidity like a miser hoarding coins.

Analysts, with their fingers crossed behind their backs, claim the rating is a slap in the face to Bitcoin’s potential, but they’re just scared of the future. 🤡