Michael Saylor’s Obsession with Bitcoin: More Addictive Than Coffee? ☕️💸

Saylor, in between sips of his “Bitcoin Standard”-branded espresso 🏴‍☠️, casually tweeted that MicroStrategy’s stock has delivered a ludicrous 3,588% return. Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s measly 905% gain over the same period is just… adorable. 💅 Stocks, bonds, real estate? Baby numbers. MSTR is out here playing in the Wolf of Wall Street league while everyone else is stuck on Monopoly.

Australia Approves First Bitcoin-Backed Home Loan After Court Win

Block Earner has been struggling with the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) to be able to provide loans that are backed by Bitcoin. ASIC explained that the company had to obtain a conventional financial services license. Block Earner, however, stated that the same did not apply to its crypto-backed loan.

Trump & Crypto: Is Your 401k About To YOLO?

Apparently, this news broke on X (formerly Twitter, because Elon!). A publication called NewsGate reported on a Financial Times article. It seems our former president is angling to let everyone gamble—I mean, invest—their retirement funds in Bitcoin and Dogecoin. Which, fine, if you’re a venture capitalist with a yacht and a very good accountant. But for Brenda from accounting? Maybe not.

AVAX to the Moon 🚀💸

AVAX has finally broken free from its long, grinding downtrend 😌. The chart shared by TedPillows shows a clean breakout above the descending wedge that’s been capping AVAX for days. And it’s not just a weak move; the price has followed through with strong candles and solid volume, suggesting momentum has flipped decisively bullish 💪.

Is XRP About to Hit the Moon? This 1.4 Billion Surge Has Everyone Laughing!

On the illustrious day of July 18, behold! The volume of monetary transfers from one party to another via the XRP Ledger breached the impressive $1.4 billion threshold—such a level not seen since that quaint and innocent time known as February 2025. Ah, how time flies when you’re caught in the throes of capitalistic fervor! 🤑

👽XRP vs ETH: Who’s the Real Crypto King?🚀

In a thrilling social media showdown, Hayes proclaimed that Ethereum will outshine XRP once the altcoin season kicks off. He pointed out that Bitcoin has already smashed through its all-time high, paving the way for a “monster” altcoin season. Get your popcorn ready, folks! 🍿

SEC’s New Chief Promises Clarity and Laughs in Crypto Chaos 🤣

In a candid chat with Bloomberg, Atkins revealed the SEC’s ongoing efforts, spearheaded by a crypto task force under Commissioner Hester Peirce. A recent legislative move has finally declared that meme coins and stablecoins are not securities, a clarification that might just save the crypto market from drowning in regulatory ambiguity. 🛟️

ETH Soars: Wall Street’s New Darling? 🤑

Ethereum [ETH] is back in the limelight, baby! ✨ And this time, the suits on Wall Street are watching with wide eyes 👀. Stablecoins are popping up like mushrooms after a rain 🍄, and real-world stuff is hopping onto the blockchain. ETH’s not just a fancy token anymore – it’s becoming the digital gold 🥇 everyone wants a piece of.