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In a jaw-dropping post on X (because that’s where all the crypto magic happens), Teng pulled back the velvet curtain on Bitcoin’s future—a roadmap that might just make your head spin. 💡

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Triple-digit price surges rarely bring dignity; MOODENG’s explosion is certainly no exception. Over the past week, its value has shot up so dramatically that one wonders whether it’s being traded or flung from a circus cannon. 🎪💥

Alright, here’s the scoop: Zcash (ZEC), your favorite privacy-loving cryptocurrency, has decided it’s had enough of hanging out below $40 and has blasted through a key resistance level like it’s finally gotten its act together. What does this mean? It *could* mean bigger gains ahead. Or it could mean we’re just getting our hopes up again. Who knows? The crypto world is nothing if not unpredictable.

A mysterious figure named MMBTtrader (not, as far as we know, a variety of sandwich) has scribbled warnings and prophecies on TradingView—think of it as a modern-day wizard’s scroll, but with more charts and fewer dragons. According to this sage, Dogecoin hasn’t yet encountered any serious resistance, which means there’s a real chance our canine currency could double. Or triple. Or, more likely, befuddle mathematicians everywhere.

In their May 12, 2025 act of mutual benevolence (or simply running out of popcorn), America agreed to nudge its tariffs on Chinese imports down from a nosebleed-inducing 145% to a more “modest” 30%. China, not to be outdone in this game of limbo, will slide its rates in the opposite direction—from an eye-watering 125% to a breezy 10%. If only my rent could plummet as quickly.