Bitcoin Treasury Bear Market Finally Ends as Short Seller Backs Off MSTR

James Chanos, the founder of Kynikos Associates, dropped the bombshell on Sunday, revealing that his investment firm unwound its short position on Strategy and a long position on Bitcoin (BTC) early Friday morning, probably right after finishing his coffee and plotting his next move in the grand chess game of market manipulation.

RIP-pling Entwined Fates: The Plea of XRP ETFs to the SEC Gods

Stalwart XRP holders still linger in anticipation, for the government hallways remain sealed, as decisions from the SEC gods are awaited. A listing on the DTCC is but a silhouette of approval, not its substance. It is merely a wee step in the march of bureaucracy, confirming that those managing these funds have turned their own intricate cogs into preparation for whatever vow of entry the regulators may bestow. 😇📜

Trump’s Tariff Dividend: Crypto’s Last Chance?

Trump, the great orator of the digital age, proclaimed on Truth Social that the United States, with its coffers brimming like a well-fed noble, is siphoning trillions from tariffs. These funds, he declared, would not only vanquish the $37 trillion national debt but also bestow a dividend upon the people. Yet, the high-income earners, those paragons of wealth, would be left in the cold, their pockets untouched by this grand gesture. 🚫💰

Scandale Épique : Le Influenceur Crypto Espagnol en Pris et en Folie

Tout cela dans le cadre de l’Opération PONEI (oui, comme la fameuse mascotte de l’équitation espagnole, mais ici, ça ne saute pas d’obstacle, ça vole en éclats de milliards). Avec l’aide d’Europol et d’agences USA, Singapour, Malaisie, et Thaïlande (comme une réunion de famille non choisie), Romillo fut ause court en justice le 7 novembre. Bilan ? Pas de liberté sous caution, bien sûr, parce que, voyez-vous, il risquerait de prendre le large comme un bandit de grand chemin. 😏💼

🚨 XLM: The $0.22 Lifeline or the Guillotine? 🚨

Technical augurs, those modern-day soothsayers, decree that the bulls are but a faint whisper in the wind. The token, once buoyant, now wallows in the mire of its own decline, unable to rise from the ashes of its recent humiliations. 🦵💨

Stablecoins: The New God of Finance? 💸

According to Orbital’s Stablecoin Retail Payments Index, the crypto industry, that eternal wanderer between madness and reason, has finally found its footing, trading the feverish dance of speculation for the solemn ritual of practicality. A curious turn of events, is it not? 🌀