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Once upon a time, Dogecoin experienced a small victory, bouncing back from its near-death experience at $0.2110—yes, just like Bitcoin and Ethereum. It rose like the proverbial phoenix, crossing the $0.220 resistance like it had something to prove. But just as the bulls thought victory was theirs, the bears came roaring back.

The attempt to surge over $2.350 was as futile as a soufflé trying to rise in a gale. Bears, ever the party poopers, played their part near $2.450, establishing a high at an impressive $2.4495—almost poetic in its near-miss. Now, the price is heading south, perhaps seeking solace in the $2.40 abyss.

Recently, this digital marvel has achieved its highest-ever weekly close, surpassing all previous records. The market, like an unbridled beast, roars onward, and Bitcoin dances perilously close to its own legendary peak. Six weeks in succession, it has closed higher, their cumulative ascent reminiscent of a madman’s fevered dream. On the night of May 18, at the stroke of midnight, this virtual titan bridged the chasm below $106,500, as if testing the heavens themselves, according to the sacred texts of TradingView.

On May 16, in the bustling metropolis of Nashville—which is basically the town version of “Let’s Pretend We Know Music”—Senators Bill Hagerty (R-TN) and Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) issued statements with all the enthusiasm of a cat that just realized it’s not a mouse. They’re waving the flag for the Guiding and Establishing National Innovation for U.S. Stablecoins (GENIUS) Act—a bipartisan masterpiece meant to craft a fancy federal framework for payment stablecoins. Spot the irony—bipartisan support, but only after the bill was rejected in the Senate with a sad 48 out of 60 votes. Like trying to get cats to agree on the best nap spot, really.

Sources whisper of a market capitalization soaring to a shiny $3.30 trillion—a number so vast it’s practically cosmic! Meanwhile, Bitcoin, ever the daredevil, climbed nearly 2%, flirted flirtatiously with its previous all-time high, nudging just 3.5% away from glory. Ethereum modestly tiptoed forward, perhaps unsure if it should truly celebrate or hide behind the curtain of skepticism. 🎭

In an interview with CNBC — because what better place to dream about billions than on TV where your words can be twisted by every shady character with a microphone — Novogratz blames the recent crypto crash on overexuberance, Trump coins, and other foolish fare. Yes, folks, nothing says “market correction” like a memecoin named after a former president’s face or a dragon with the face of Uncle Sam.

This weekend, social media was practically a rave of chatter about this notable figure trading on Hyperliquid, a decentralized derivatives exchange that probably sounds like a fancy cocktail but is actually a place where people bet real money on digital currencies. The person in question is sitting comfortably as the third-highest trader on the platform, possibly the Benjamin Button of traders—getting younger at the top. The chatter points toward a fellow named James Wynn, who might be the guy behind the curtain, or at least the one with the impressive X account boasting nearly 52,000 followers as of May 18. He’s been engaging like a social media star, riding the hype train all weekend.