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Their coffers’ depletion expanded to a staggering $266.7 million, or $1.28 per share, a figure so alarming it would have even the most stoic of London society ladies gasping for breath. This was a marked improvement from the mere $50.1 million loss of the previous year, though analysts had dared to hope for a more modest deficit of 25 cents per share. Revenue, however, did double to $169.7 million, a modest triumph overshadowed by their financial woes, while adjusted Ebitda flipped to profit-a twist as unexpected as a proposal from Mr. Wickham.

This ain’t your grandpappy’s ICO. Coinbase’s disclosure is like a spotlight on a cockroach-infested kitchen-you can’t unsee it. For the first time, a bigwig institution’s laid out the whole shebang: the names, the loans, the durations. Even the third-party watchdog, Coinwatch, is on the prowl to keep these market makers in line. 🐕

In a post dripping with self-congratulation, the Foundation trumpets the news: “Developers, analysts, and enterprises may now query Hedera’s transaction history with the same ease as Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other plebeian chains.” 🍾 How very convenient for them! HBAR’s ledger data now rubs shoulders with the industry’s darlings, though one wonders if it will ever truly fit in. 😏

Despite a bumpy start to November, Ethereum has managed to stabilize above the $3,500 mark, much to the relief of traders and investors. Following a brief and rather unfortunate dip below $3,100 on November 4th, ETH quickly found its footing above $3,400. Currently, Ethereum is priced around $3,596, with the market holding its breath to see whether the bulls will continue their charge.

Mike McGlone, our resident crypto seer, declares this a “do-or-die” moment, as if Bitcoin is auditioning for a role in a particularly dramatic soap opera. The 200-day moving average, that venerable old friend, now sits near $110,000, a hurdle that seems as insurmountable as a well-timed punchline. 🧠

Meme coins, those jesters of the crypto realm, prance about like kings atop a bullish wave, backed by the solemn nods of JPMorgan and other such titans. Oh, the irony! 🤡

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On Monday, Chairman John Boozman and Senator Cory Booker unveiled this masterpiece, building on the CLARITY Act like it’s a crypto LEGO set. 🧱 “Let’s make crypto trading platforms register and play nice,” they said. “Consumer protection rules? Absolutely. We’re not monsters.”

As of September, there are 200 DAT companies (yes, 200!) mostly mooning over Bitcoin, with a combined market cap of $150 billion. That’s a 3x jump from last year-cha-ching! 💰 But here’s the kicker: new companies are popping up faster than popcorn in a microwave, and many are penny stocks desperate to turn a dime into a fortune. With Bitcoin’s value doing the limbo (how low can you go?), these firms are now eyeing altcoins like they’re the last slice of pizza at a party. 🍕

The filing, signed by the enigmatic Steven McClurg of Canary Capital Group, was submitted on November 10, 2025. The SEC, in a rare moment of kindness, didn’t ask any questions, which is probably why they’ve been so quiet lately. The ETF will trade under the ticker “XRPC,” which sounds like a code for a secret society. 🕵️‍♂️